WEBVTT

1
00:00:02.515 --> 00:00:04.505
<00:00:02.515>Thank <00:00:02.795>you <00:00:03.075>everyone <00:00:03.355>for <00:00:03.635>having <00:00:03.915>me.

2
00:00:04.965 --> 00:00:08.465
<00:00:04.965>So, <00:00:05.081>as <00:00:05.198>I <00:00:05.314>said <00:00:05.431>today, <00:00:05.548>I <00:00:05.665>want <00:00:05.781>to <00:00:05.898>share <00:00:06.015>a <00:00:06.131>little <00:00:06.248>bit <00:00:06.365>about

3
00:00:09.345 --> 00:00:11.145
<00:00:09.345>communication <00:00:09.695>and <00:00:10.045>influence <00:00:10.395>for <00:00:10.745>techies.

4
00:00:12.345 --> 00:00:14.645
<00:00:12.345>And <00:00:12.520>I'm <00:00:12.695>going <00:00:12.870>to <00:00:13.045>take <00:00:13.220>an <00:00:13.395>unconventional <00:00:13.570>look <00:00:13.745>at

5
00:00:14.645 --> 00:00:16.365
<00:00:14.645>conversations <00:00:15.344>and <00:00:16.044>present

6
00:00:16.625 --> 00:00:18.645
<00:00:16.625>to <00:00:16.825>you <00:00:17.025>something <00:00:17.225>which <00:00:17.425>you <00:00:17.625>don't <00:00:17.825>often <00:00:18.025>hear.

7
00:00:19.065 --> 00:00:22.245
<00:00:19.065>And <00:00:19.205>most <00:00:19.345>of, <00:00:19.485>most <00:00:19.625>of <00:00:19.765>it <00:00:19.905>is <00:00:20.045>coming <00:00:20.185>from <00:00:20.325>my <00:00:20.465>own,

8
00:00:23.095 --> 00:00:25.355
<00:00:23.095>my <00:00:23.375>own <00:00:23.654>learnings, <00:00:23.935>my <00:00:24.215>own <00:00:24.494>stuff,

9
00:00:25.355 --> 00:00:26.795
<00:00:25.355>which <00:00:25.571>I <00:00:25.787>have <00:00:26.003>learned <00:00:26.219>the <00:00:26.435>hard <00:00:26.651>way,

10
00:00:29.265 --> 00:00:31.485
<00:00:29.265>and <00:00:29.420>I <00:00:29.576>want <00:00:29.731>to <00:00:29.887>keep <00:00:30.042>it <00:00:30.198>very, <00:00:30.353>very <00:00:30.509>simple <00:00:30.665>today.

11
00:00:32.385 --> 00:00:33.765
<00:00:32.384>But <00:00:32.592>before <00:00:32.799>we <00:00:33.006>start, <00:00:33.213>I <00:00:33.420>have <00:00:33.627>a,

12
00:00:33.845 --> 00:00:35.285
<00:00:33.845>I <00:00:34.007>have <00:00:34.169>a <00:00:34.330>few <00:00:34.492>requests <00:00:34.655>for <00:00:34.817>all <00:00:34.979>of <00:00:35.141>you.

13
00:00:36.225 --> 00:00:40.085
<00:00:36.225>My <00:00:36.365>first <00:00:36.505>request <00:00:36.645>is <00:00:36.785>that <00:00:36.925>stay <00:00:37.065>open <00:00:37.205>to <00:00:37.345>what <00:00:37.485>I'm <00:00:37.625>sharing.

14
00:00:40.995 --> 00:00:44.255
<00:00:40.995>And <00:00:41.111>what <00:00:41.228>I <00:00:41.345>mean <00:00:41.461>by <00:00:41.578>that <00:00:41.695>is <00:00:41.811>that <00:00:41.928>feel <00:00:42.044>free <00:00:42.161>to <00:00:42.278>disagree <00:00:42.394>with

15
00:00:44.255 --> 00:00:47.495
<00:00:44.255>what <00:00:44.410>I'm <00:00:44.566>sharing, <00:00:44.721>but <00:00:44.877>play <00:00:45.032>around <00:00:45.188>with <00:00:45.343>what <00:00:45.499>I'm <00:00:45.655>sharing

16
00:00:47.495 --> 00:00:49.215
<00:00:47.495>because <00:00:47.845>some <00:00:48.195>of <00:00:48.544>the <00:00:48.894>thoughts

17
00:00:49.215 --> 00:00:51.655
<00:00:49.215>and <00:00:49.390>ideas <00:00:49.565>which <00:00:49.740>I <00:00:49.915>might <00:00:50.090>share <00:00:50.265>might <00:00:50.440>be <00:00:50.615>unusual

18
00:00:51.915 --> 00:00:53.775
<00:00:51.915>or <00:00:52.148>might <00:00:52.381>not <00:00:52.615>make <00:00:52.848>sense <00:00:53.081>to <00:00:53.315>you.

19
00:00:53.915 --> 00:00:57.375
<00:00:53.915>So <00:00:54.115>I <00:00:54.315>invite <00:00:54.515>you <00:00:54.714>to, <00:00:54.915>uh, <00:00:55.115>to <00:00:55.315>disagree,

20
00:00:57.375 --> 00:01:00.495
<00:00:57.375>but <00:00:57.530>do <00:00:57.686>not <00:00:57.841>outright <00:00:57.997>reject <00:00:58.152>what <00:00:58.308>I'm, <00:00:58.463>what <00:00:58.619>I'm <00:00:58.775>saying.

21
00:01:01.155 --> 00:01:02.695
<00:01:01.155>The <00:01:01.386>second <00:01:01.617>request, <00:01:01.848>which <00:01:02.079>I <00:01:02.310>have, <00:01:02.541>is

22
00:01:02.695 --> 00:01:05.775
<00:01:02.695>that <00:01:02.850>while <00:01:03.006>there <00:01:03.161>might <00:01:03.317>be <00:01:03.472>hundreds <00:01:03.628>of <00:01:03.783>people <00:01:03.939>here, <00:01:04.095>assume

23
00:01:05.775 --> 00:01:07.975
<00:01:05.775>that <00:01:06.008>I'm <00:01:06.241>talking <00:01:06.475>to <00:01:06.708>you <00:01:06.941>personally, <00:01:07.175>assume

24
00:01:07.975 --> 00:01:09.215
<00:01:07.975>that <00:01:08.198>this <00:01:08.421>is <00:01:08.644>about <00:01:08.867>your <00:01:09.091>life,

25
00:01:09.275 --> 00:01:11.575
<00:01:09.275>and <00:01:09.475>we <00:01:09.675>are <00:01:09.875>engaging <00:01:10.075>in <00:01:10.275>a <00:01:10.475>one-on-one <00:01:10.675>conversation.

26
00:01:12.515 --> 00:01:15.055
<00:01:12.515>And <00:01:12.642>the <00:01:12.769>third <00:01:12.896>request, <00:01:13.024>which <00:01:13.151>I <00:01:13.278>have, <00:01:13.405>is <00:01:13.533>that <00:01:13.660>a <00:01:13.787>lot <00:01:13.915>of

27
00:01:15.055 --> 00:01:18.255
<00:01:15.055>what <00:01:15.230>I <00:01:15.405>will <00:01:15.580>share <00:01:15.755>is <00:01:15.930>also <00:01:16.105>about <00:01:16.280>practical <00:01:16.455>implementation.

28
00:01:19.205 --> 00:01:22.105
<00:01:19.205>It <00:01:19.360>is <00:01:19.516>not <00:01:19.671>just <00:01:19.827>about <00:01:19.982>theory <00:01:20.138>and <00:01:20.293>learning <00:01:20.449>some <00:01:20.605>concept.

29
00:01:22.525 --> 00:01:25.105
<00:01:22.525>So <00:01:22.665>take <00:01:22.805>it <00:01:22.945>out <00:01:23.085>in, <00:01:23.225>in <00:01:23.365>your <00:01:23.505>life, <00:01:23.645>in <00:01:23.785>your <00:01:23.925>work

30
00:01:25.605 --> 00:01:27.345
<00:01:25.605>and <00:01:25.805>try <00:01:26.005>it <00:01:26.205>out <00:01:26.405>and <00:01:26.605>see <00:01:26.805>what <00:01:27.005>happens.

31
00:01:28.735 --> 00:01:29.755
<00:01:28.735>So <00:01:29.041>let's <00:01:29.347>move <00:01:29.652>on.

32
00:01:30.725 --> 00:01:32.985
<00:01:30.725>So <00:01:30.865>as <00:01:31.005>I <00:01:31.145>said, <00:01:31.285>I <00:01:31.425>want <00:01:31.565>to <00:01:31.705>keep <00:01:31.845>it <00:01:31.985>very <00:01:32.125>simple

33
00:01:33.365 --> 00:01:36.345
<00:01:33.365>and <00:01:33.492>I <00:01:33.619>want <00:01:33.746>to <00:01:33.874>talk <00:01:34.001>about <00:01:34.128>the <00:01:34.255>most <00:01:34.383>powerful <00:01:34.510>tool <00:01:34.637>we <00:01:34.765>have

34
00:01:36.345 --> 00:01:38.425
<00:01:36.345>as <00:01:36.578>humans, <00:01:36.811>and <00:01:37.045>which <00:01:37.278>is <00:01:37.511>our <00:01:37.745>language

35
00:01:39.045 --> 00:01:40.465
<00:01:39.045>and <00:01:39.364>the <00:01:39.684>conversations <00:01:40.003>we <00:01:40.323>have.

36
00:01:41.385 --> 00:01:42.905
<00:01:41.384>I <00:01:41.613>have <00:01:41.841>a <00:01:42.068>very <00:01:42.297>simple <00:01:42.525>agenda <00:01:42.753>today.

37
00:01:43.365 --> 00:01:47.265
<00:01:43.365>So <00:01:43.492>I <00:01:43.619>will <00:01:43.746>start <00:01:43.874>by <00:01:44.001>sharing <00:01:44.128>a <00:01:44.255>bit <00:01:44.383>about <00:01:44.510>my <00:01:44.637>own <00:01:44.765>story,

38
00:01:47.485 --> 00:01:49.465
<00:01:47.485>how <00:01:47.685>I <00:01:47.885>came <00:01:48.085>to <00:01:48.285>where <00:01:48.485>I <00:01:48.685>am <00:01:48.885>today,

39
00:01:50.325 --> 00:01:53.065
<00:01:50.325>and <00:01:50.480>then <00:01:50.636>I <00:01:50.791>want <00:01:50.947>to <00:01:51.102>share <00:01:51.258>my <00:01:51.413>four <00:01:51.569>biggest <00:01:51.725>learnings

40
00:01:53.065 --> 00:01:54.665
<00:01:53.065>about <00:01:53.531>communication <00:01:53.998>and <00:01:54.465>influence.

41
00:01:56.285 --> 00:02:00.105
<00:01:56.285>And <00:01:56.440>those <00:01:56.596>learnings <00:01:56.751>are <00:01:56.907>the <00:01:57.062>first <00:01:57.218>one <00:01:57.373>focuses <00:01:57.529>on <00:01:57.685>listening,

42
00:02:00.105 --> 00:02:01.225
<00:02:00.105>the <00:02:00.609>critical <00:02:01.113>role

43
00:02:01.225 --> 00:02:03.945
<00:02:01.225>of <00:02:01.505>listening <00:02:01.785>in <00:02:02.065>communication <00:02:02.345>and <00:02:02.625>influence.

44
00:02:04.805 --> 00:02:08.905
<00:02:04.805>The <00:02:04.960>second <00:02:05.116>one <00:02:05.271>is <00:02:05.427>how <00:02:05.582>we <00:02:05.738>see <00:02:05.893>language, <00:02:06.049>how <00:02:06.205>we

45
00:02:10.135 --> 00:02:14.565
<00:02:10.134>often <00:02:10.290>mistake <00:02:10.446>language <00:02:10.601>for <00:02:10.757>something <00:02:10.912>less <00:02:11.068>than <00:02:11.223>what <00:02:11.379>it <00:02:11.535>is

46
00:02:15.425 --> 00:02:18.285
<00:02:15.425>and <00:02:15.565>how <00:02:15.705>it <00:02:15.845>can <00:02:15.985>be <00:02:16.125>a <00:02:16.265>very <00:02:16.405>powerful <00:02:16.545>tool <00:02:16.685>to <00:02:16.825>move

47
00:02:18.615 --> 00:02:19.645
<00:02:18.615>where <00:02:18.846>we <00:02:19.078>want <00:02:19.310>to <00:02:19.542>go.

48
00:02:22.695 --> 00:02:24.505
<00:02:22.695>Then <00:02:22.894>my <00:02:23.095>next <00:02:23.295>learning, <00:02:23.495>I <00:02:23.695>will <00:02:23.894>take <00:02:24.095>you

49
00:02:25.145 --> 00:02:26.625
<00:02:25.145>a <00:02:25.411>little <00:02:25.677>bit <00:02:25.944>deeper <00:02:26.210>into <00:02:26.477>listening

50
00:02:27.005 --> 00:02:29.185
<00:02:27.005>and <00:02:27.285>see <00:02:27.565>different <00:02:27.845>levels <00:02:28.125>of <00:02:28.405>listening

51
00:02:29.185 --> 00:02:31.905
<00:02:29.185>and <00:02:29.340>how <00:02:29.496>can <00:02:29.651>you <00:02:29.807>use <00:02:29.962>that <00:02:30.118>in <00:02:30.273>your <00:02:30.429>day-to-day <00:02:30.585>life.

52
00:02:33.285 --> 00:02:35.625
<00:02:33.285>And <00:02:33.484>the <00:02:33.685>fourth <00:02:33.885>one <00:02:34.085>is <00:02:34.285>about <00:02:34.484>difficult <00:02:34.685>conversations,

53
00:02:37.715 --> 00:02:39.905
<00:02:37.715>which <00:02:37.890>is, <00:02:38.065>which <00:02:38.240>is <00:02:38.415>I <00:02:38.590>think <00:02:38.765>we <00:02:38.940>all <00:02:39.115>deal

54
00:02:39.925 --> 00:02:41.545
<00:02:39.925>as <00:02:40.275>software <00:02:40.625>engineers, <00:02:40.975>as <00:02:41.325>techies.

55
00:02:41.545 --> 00:02:44.705
<00:02:41.545>We <00:02:41.700>all <00:02:41.856>deal <00:02:42.011>with <00:02:42.167>the <00:02:42.322>communication <00:02:42.478>issues <00:02:42.633>when <00:02:42.789>it <00:02:42.945>comes

56
00:02:44.765 --> 00:02:46.505
<00:02:44.765>to <00:02:45.114>commercial <00:02:45.464>people, <00:02:45.815>business <00:02:46.165>people.

57
00:02:47.045 --> 00:02:50.265
<00:02:47.045>So <00:02:47.220>I'll <00:02:47.395>take <00:02:47.570>a <00:02:47.745>deep <00:02:47.920>dive <00:02:48.095>into <00:02:48.270>difficult <00:02:48.445>conversation

58
00:02:50.365 --> 00:02:54.665
<00:02:50.365>and <00:02:50.505>even <00:02:50.645>suggest <00:02:50.785>some <00:02:50.925>practical <00:02:51.065>tips <00:02:51.205>which <00:02:51.345>you <00:02:51.485>can <00:02:51.625>take <00:02:51.765>out,

59
00:02:54.765 --> 00:02:56.265
<00:02:54.765>uh, <00:02:55.035>and <00:02:55.304>apply <00:02:55.575>in <00:02:55.845>your <00:02:56.114>work.

60
00:02:59.025 --> 00:03:00.685
<00:02:59.025>So <00:02:59.305>to <00:02:59.585>start <00:02:59.865>with, <00:03:00.145>I'm <00:03:00.425>Sumit.

61
00:03:00.785 --> 00:03:02.925
<00:03:00.785>So <00:03:00.960>apart <00:03:01.135>from <00:03:01.310>everything <00:03:01.484>which <00:03:01.660>I, <00:03:01.835>which <00:03:02.010>I <00:03:02.185>do,

62
00:03:03.005 --> 00:03:05.005
<00:03:03.005>I <00:03:03.204>am <00:03:03.405>also <00:03:03.605>a <00:03:03.805>father <00:03:04.005>and <00:03:04.204>a <00:03:04.405>husband.

63
00:03:06.145 --> 00:03:09.485
<00:03:06.145>Uh, <00:03:06.300>and, <00:03:06.456>uh, <00:03:06.611>I <00:03:06.767>am <00:03:06.922>currently <00:03:07.078>dialing <00:03:07.233>in <00:03:07.389>from <00:03:07.545>Amsterdam.

64
00:03:11.415 --> 00:03:13.795
<00:03:11.415>And <00:03:11.554>I <00:03:11.695>want <00:03:11.834>to <00:03:11.975>share <00:03:12.114>about <00:03:12.255>a <00:03:12.394>little <00:03:12.535>bit <00:03:12.674>about <00:03:12.815>myself

65
00:03:13.815 --> 00:03:14.915
<00:03:13.815>in, <00:03:14.144>in <00:03:14.475>two <00:03:14.805>ways.

66
00:03:15.335 --> 00:03:18.515
<00:03:15.335>Um, <00:03:15.510>first <00:03:15.685>is <00:03:15.860>what <00:03:16.035>most <00:03:16.210>people <00:03:16.385>know <00:03:16.560>about <00:03:16.735>me,

67
00:03:18.935 --> 00:03:21.355
<00:03:18.935>and <00:03:19.062>the <00:03:19.189>second <00:03:19.316>is <00:03:19.444>what <00:03:19.571>most <00:03:19.698>people <00:03:19.825>do <00:03:19.953>not <00:03:20.080>know <00:03:20.207>about <00:03:20.335>me.

68
00:03:23.535 --> 00:03:25.835
<00:03:23.535>So <00:03:23.768>I <00:03:24.001>have <00:03:24.234>been <00:03:24.468>programming <00:03:24.701>since <00:03:24.935>1996.

69
00:03:26.185 --> 00:03:29.315
<00:03:26.185>This <00:03:26.360>has <00:03:26.535>been <00:03:26.710>a <00:03:26.885>big <00:03:27.060>passion <00:03:27.235>of <00:03:27.410>mine, <00:03:27.585>uh,

70
00:03:29.455 --> 00:03:31.915
<00:03:29.454>and <00:03:29.654>it <00:03:29.855>has <00:03:30.054>been <00:03:30.255>more <00:03:30.454>than <00:03:30.654>20 <00:03:30.855>years

71
00:03:31.915 --> 00:03:34.035
<00:03:31.915>that <00:03:32.114>I <00:03:32.315>have <00:03:32.515>been <00:03:32.715>programming <00:03:32.915>almost <00:03:33.114>very <00:03:33.315>regularly.

72
00:03:35.155 --> 00:03:38.395
<00:03:35.155>I <00:03:35.330>have <00:03:35.505>been <00:03:35.680>leading <00:03:35.855>software <00:03:36.030>development <00:03:36.205>teams <00:03:36.380>since <00:03:36.555>2007,

73
00:03:38.575 --> 00:03:40.715
<00:03:38.575>so <00:03:38.808>it <00:03:39.041>has <00:03:39.274>been <00:03:39.508>12 <00:03:39.741>years, <00:03:39.975>12

74
00:03:40.715 --> 00:03:42.635
<00:03:40.715>or <00:03:40.890>13 <00:03:41.065>years <00:03:41.240>that <00:03:41.415>I <00:03:41.590>have <00:03:41.765>been <00:03:41.940>leading <00:03:42.115>teams

75
00:03:42.695 --> 00:03:43.835
<00:03:42.695>in <00:03:42.900>one <00:03:43.105>form <00:03:43.310>or <00:03:43.515>the <00:03:43.721>others.

76
00:03:44.915 --> 00:03:48.115
<00:03:44.915>I <00:03:45.114>have <00:03:45.315>worked <00:03:45.515>in <00:03:45.715>companies <00:03:45.915>like <00:03:46.114>booking.com, <00:03:46.315>Yahoo,

77
00:03:48.535 --> 00:03:51.035
<00:03:48.535>and <00:03:48.734>many <00:03:48.935>other <00:03:49.135>companies, <00:03:49.335>uh, <00:03:49.535>first <00:03:49.734>in <00:03:49.935>India

78
00:03:51.095 --> 00:03:53.635
<00:03:51.095>and <00:03:51.328>now <00:03:51.561>in <00:03:51.795>also <00:03:52.028>in <00:03:52.261>in <00:03:52.495>Europe.

79
00:03:54.975 --> 00:03:56.695
<00:03:54.975>I <00:03:55.174>have <00:03:55.375>started <00:03:55.575>two <00:03:55.775>companies <00:03:55.975>of <00:03:56.174>my <00:03:56.375>own.

80
00:03:57.215 --> 00:03:59.095
<00:03:57.215>I <00:03:57.415>have <00:03:57.615>started <00:03:57.815>one <00:03:58.015>NGO <00:03:58.215>of <00:03:58.415>my <00:03:58.615>own,

81
00:03:59.195 --> 00:04:01.575
<00:03:59.195>and <00:03:59.350>that <00:03:59.506>is <00:03:59.661>where <00:03:59.817>my <00:03:59.972>passion <00:04:00.128>for <00:04:00.283>leadership, <00:04:00.439>that <00:04:00.595>is

82
00:04:01.575 --> 00:04:03.415
<00:04:01.575>where <00:04:01.855>my <00:04:02.135>passion <00:04:02.415>for <00:04:02.695>communication <00:04:02.975>started.

83
00:04:05.095 --> 00:04:08.455
<00:04:05.095>I <00:04:05.295>have <00:04:05.495>started <00:04:05.695>and <00:04:05.895>run <00:04:06.095>multiple <00:04:06.295>activist <00:04:06.495>campaigns.

84
00:04:08.755 --> 00:04:11.335
<00:04:08.755>Uh, <00:04:08.894>this <00:04:09.035>was <00:04:09.174>mostly <00:04:09.315>when, <00:04:09.454>when <00:04:09.595>I <00:04:09.734>was <00:04:09.875>back <00:04:10.015>in <00:04:10.155>India,

85
00:04:11.395 --> 00:04:14.975
<00:04:11.395>but <00:04:11.550>I've <00:04:11.706>done <00:04:11.861>a <00:04:12.017>lot <00:04:12.172>of <00:04:12.328>work <00:04:12.483>around <00:04:12.639>organizing <00:04:12.795>people

86
00:04:15.395 --> 00:04:17.055
<00:04:15.395>and <00:04:15.628>from <00:04:15.861>where <00:04:16.095>I <00:04:16.328>draw <00:04:16.561>a <00:04:16.795>lot

87
00:04:17.055 --> 00:04:19.095
<00:04:17.055>of <00:04:17.288>my <00:04:17.521>lessons <00:04:17.755>on <00:04:17.988>leadership <00:04:18.221>and <00:04:18.454>communication.

88
00:04:20.225 --> 00:04:21.935
<00:04:20.225>Apart <00:04:20.458>from <00:04:20.691>that, <00:04:20.925>I'm <00:04:21.158>also <00:04:21.391>a <00:04:21.625>travel

89
00:04:21.995 --> 00:04:24.655
<00:04:21.995>and <00:04:22.228>street <00:04:22.461>photographer <00:04:22.695>based <00:04:22.928>here <00:04:23.161>in <00:04:23.395>Amsterdam.

90
00:04:26.225 --> 00:04:28.605
<00:04:26.225>And <00:04:26.380>today <00:04:26.536>I <00:04:26.691>coach <00:04:26.847>leaders <00:04:27.002>from <00:04:27.158>all <00:04:27.313>over <00:04:27.469>the <00:04:27.625>world

91
00:04:28.865 --> 00:04:30.765
<00:04:28.865>around <00:04:29.215>the <00:04:29.565>topics <00:04:29.915>around <00:04:30.265>leadership

92
00:04:30.765 --> 00:04:33.845
<00:04:30.765>and <00:04:30.965>communication <00:04:31.164>is <00:04:31.365>a <00:04:31.565>big <00:04:31.765>part <00:04:31.965>of <00:04:32.164>that.

93
00:04:37.325 --> 00:04:38.735
<00:04:37.325>This <00:04:37.536>is, <00:04:37.748>this <00:04:37.959>is <00:04:38.171>the <00:04:38.382>interesting <00:04:38.594>part.

94
00:04:38.875 --> 00:04:40.175
<00:04:38.875>So <00:04:39.167>the, <00:04:39.460>the <00:04:39.752>first <00:04:40.045>slide,

95
00:04:40.175 --> 00:04:42.655
<00:04:40.175>which <00:04:40.330>I <00:04:40.486>shared <00:04:40.641>is <00:04:40.797>stuff <00:04:40.952>which <00:04:41.108>you <00:04:41.263>will <00:04:41.419>find <00:04:41.575>everywhere

96
00:04:42.655 --> 00:04:45.495
<00:04:42.655>around <00:04:42.830>my <00:04:43.005>LinkedIn, <00:04:43.179>everywhere, <00:04:43.354>what <00:04:43.530>people <00:04:43.705>know <00:04:43.880>about <00:04:44.054>me.

97
00:04:46.035 --> 00:04:47.295
<00:04:46.034>Let <00:04:46.224>me <00:04:46.413>share <00:04:46.602>a <00:04:46.791>little <00:04:46.980>bit <00:04:47.169>about

98
00:04:47.685 --> 00:04:49.215
<00:04:47.685>what <00:04:47.881>most <00:04:48.078>people <00:04:48.275>do <00:04:48.471>not <00:04:48.668>know <00:04:48.865>about <00:04:49.062>me.

99
00:04:51.175 --> 00:04:55.555
<00:04:51.175>And <00:04:51.275>the <00:04:51.375>first <00:04:51.475>one <00:04:51.575>is <00:04:51.675>that <00:04:51.775>as, <00:04:51.875>as <00:04:51.975>a, <00:04:52.075>as <00:04:52.175>a <00:04:52.275>techie, <00:04:52.375>as <00:04:52.475>a <00:04:52.575>geek,

100
00:04:56.035 --> 00:04:58.475
<00:04:56.034>I <00:04:56.268>have <00:04:56.501>spent <00:04:56.734>my <00:04:56.968>whole <00:04:57.201>life <00:04:57.434>trying

101
00:04:58.475 --> 00:05:00.695
<00:04:58.475>to <00:04:58.825>hide <00:04:59.175>myself <00:04:59.525>being <00:04:59.875>invisible.

102
00:05:01.625 --> 00:05:03.445
<00:05:01.625>And <00:05:01.858>I <00:05:02.091>have <00:05:02.325>used <00:05:02.558>my <00:05:02.791>computer <00:05:03.025>first

103
00:05:03.465 --> 00:05:06.285
<00:05:03.465>and <00:05:03.604>later <00:05:03.744>my <00:05:03.885>camera <00:05:04.025>when <00:05:04.164>I, <00:05:04.304>when <00:05:04.445>I <00:05:04.585>picked <00:05:04.724>up <00:05:04.864>photography

104
00:05:06.785 --> 00:05:09.925
<00:05:06.785>to <00:05:06.960>hide <00:05:07.135>behind <00:05:07.310>the <00:05:07.485>world, <00:05:07.660>to <00:05:07.835>not <00:05:08.010>communicate <00:05:08.185>directly,

105
00:05:10.185 --> 00:05:11.605
<00:05:10.185>but <00:05:10.398>to <00:05:10.611>put <00:05:10.824>it <00:05:11.037>as <00:05:11.250>a <00:05:11.463>shield.

106
00:05:13.625 --> 00:05:16.925
<00:05:13.625>And <00:05:13.800>I <00:05:13.975>have <00:05:14.150>always <00:05:14.325>been <00:05:14.500>scared <00:05:14.675>of <00:05:14.850>being <00:05:15.025>seen

107
00:05:17.585 --> 00:05:20.245
<00:05:17.585>and <00:05:17.760>being, <00:05:17.935>putting <00:05:18.109>myself <00:05:18.284>out <00:05:18.460>there <00:05:18.635>in <00:05:18.810>the <00:05:18.984>open.

108
00:05:22.465 --> 00:05:25.865
<00:05:22.465>I <00:05:22.640>have <00:05:22.815>avoided <00:05:22.989>conflict <00:05:23.164>at <00:05:23.340>all <00:05:23.515>costs, <00:05:23.690>even <00:05:23.864>disagreements.

109
00:05:25.945 --> 00:05:27.665
<00:05:25.945>I <00:05:26.178>would <00:05:26.411>run <00:05:26.645>away <00:05:26.878>and <00:05:27.111>I <00:05:27.344>would,

110
00:05:28.505 --> 00:05:30.705
<00:05:28.505>I <00:05:28.680>would <00:05:28.855>close <00:05:29.030>down <00:05:29.205>a <00:05:29.380>conversation <00:05:29.555>if <00:05:29.730>I <00:05:29.905>hint

111
00:05:30.705 --> 00:05:32.305
<00:05:30.705>that <00:05:30.938>there <00:05:31.171>is <00:05:31.405>a <00:05:31.638>disagreement <00:05:31.871>or <00:05:32.104>a,

112
00:05:32.305 --> 00:05:33.985
<00:05:32.305>or <00:05:32.585>a <00:05:32.865>conflict <00:05:33.145>coming, <00:05:33.425>coming <00:05:33.705>on.

113
00:05:35.585 --> 00:05:37.125
<00:05:35.585>And <00:05:35.739>I <00:05:35.893>used <00:05:36.046>to <00:05:36.200>say <00:05:36.355>that <00:05:36.509>I <00:05:36.663>can <00:05:36.817>only <00:05:36.971>talk

114
00:05:37.125 --> 00:05:38.365
<00:05:37.125>to <00:05:37.497>computers, <00:05:37.869>not <00:05:38.241>people.

115
00:05:39.255 --> 00:05:41.635
<00:05:39.255>And <00:05:39.395>uh, <00:05:39.534>and <00:05:39.675>this <00:05:39.815>was <00:05:39.955>a <00:05:40.094>huge <00:05:40.235>blind <00:05:40.375>spot <00:05:40.515>for <00:05:40.655>me

116
00:05:41.635 --> 00:05:43.875
<00:05:41.635>because <00:05:41.914>when <00:05:42.195>I <00:05:42.474>started <00:05:42.755>leading <00:05:43.034>teams,

117
00:05:44.025 --> 00:05:47.365
<00:05:44.025>this <00:05:44.224>became <00:05:44.424>a <00:05:44.625>huge <00:05:44.825>bottleneck <00:05:45.025>as <00:05:45.224>I <00:05:45.424>realized

118
00:05:47.365 --> 00:05:49.605
<00:05:47.365>that <00:05:47.598>leading <00:05:47.831>teams <00:05:48.065>is <00:05:48.298>much <00:05:48.531>more <00:05:48.765>than

119
00:05:50.335 --> 00:05:52.525
<00:05:50.335>being <00:05:50.568>good <00:05:50.801>at <00:05:51.034>your <00:05:51.268>software <00:05:51.501>engineering <00:05:51.734>job.

120
00:05:54.035 --> 00:05:55.775
<00:05:54.034>And <00:05:54.210>I <00:05:54.385>have <00:05:54.559>learned <00:05:54.734>my <00:05:54.909>lessons <00:05:55.085>the <00:05:55.260>hard <00:05:55.434>way.

121
00:05:56.875 --> 00:05:58.135
<00:05:56.875>So <00:05:57.158>everything <00:05:57.442>which <00:05:57.725>I'm <00:05:58.009>going

122
00:05:58.135 --> 00:05:59.895
<00:05:58.135>to <00:05:58.310>be <00:05:58.485>shared <00:05:58.659>is <00:05:58.835>coming <00:05:59.010>from <00:05:59.185>my <00:05:59.360>own <00:05:59.534>learning.

123
00:06:00.955 --> 00:06:04.295
<00:06:00.955>Uh, <00:06:01.055>and <00:06:01.155>I <00:06:01.255>also <00:06:01.354>want <00:06:01.455>to <00:06:01.555>put <00:06:01.655>it <00:06:01.755>out, <00:06:01.854>open <00:06:01.955>out <00:06:02.055>in <00:06:02.155>the <00:06:02.255>open <00:06:02.354>that

124
00:06:04.315 --> 00:06:07.615
<00:06:04.315>for <00:06:04.431>a <00:06:04.548>long <00:06:04.665>time <00:06:04.781>I <00:06:04.898>have <00:06:05.015>not <00:06:05.131>done <00:06:05.248>public <00:06:05.365>events <00:06:05.481>like <00:06:05.598>this <00:06:05.715>one

125
00:06:08.325 --> 00:06:13.135
<00:06:08.325>just <00:06:08.452>because <00:06:08.579>I <00:06:08.706>had <00:06:08.834>this, <00:06:08.961>um, <00:06:09.088>this <00:06:09.215>view <00:06:09.343>in <00:06:09.470>my <00:06:09.597>head <00:06:09.724>that,

126
00:06:13.315 --> 00:06:16.295
<00:06:13.315>uh, <00:06:13.442>I'm <00:06:13.569>a <00:06:13.696>shy <00:06:13.824>person <00:06:13.951>or <00:06:14.078>I'm <00:06:14.205>not <00:06:14.333>good <00:06:14.460>at <00:06:14.587>public <00:06:14.715>speaking.

127
00:06:19.225 --> 00:06:22.845
<00:06:19.225>So <00:06:19.380>who <00:06:19.536>I <00:06:19.691>am <00:06:19.847>today <00:06:20.002>as, <00:06:20.158>as <00:06:20.313>Vincent <00:06:20.469>introduced <00:06:20.625>today,

128
00:06:22.925 --> 00:06:24.885
<00:06:22.925>I <00:06:23.125>help <00:06:23.325>people <00:06:23.525>see <00:06:23.725>how <00:06:23.925>powerful <00:06:24.125>they <00:06:24.325>are.

129
00:06:26.055 --> 00:06:29.435
<00:06:26.055>And <00:06:26.182>what <00:06:26.309>I <00:06:26.436>mean <00:06:26.564>by <00:06:26.691>that <00:06:26.818>is, <00:06:26.945>is <00:06:27.073>the <00:06:27.200>power <00:06:27.327>of <00:06:27.455>conversations

130
00:06:29.695 --> 00:06:31.915
<00:06:29.695>and <00:06:29.928>the <00:06:30.161>power <00:06:30.395>of <00:06:30.628>creating <00:06:30.861>the <00:06:31.094>results

131
00:06:31.915 --> 00:06:33.035
<00:06:31.915>that <00:06:32.116>we <00:06:32.318>want <00:06:32.519>in <00:06:32.721>our <00:06:32.923>life.

132
00:06:35.995 --> 00:06:39.055
<00:06:35.995>So <00:06:36.135>let's <00:06:36.275>move <00:06:36.415>on <00:06:36.555>to <00:06:36.695>the <00:06:36.835>first <00:06:36.975>of <00:06:37.115>the <00:06:37.255>four <00:06:37.395>points,

133
00:06:39.055 --> 00:06:43.805
<00:06:39.055>which <00:06:39.255>I <00:06:39.455>mentioned, <00:06:39.655>and <00:06:39.855>all <00:06:40.055>during <00:06:40.255>the <00:06:40.455>all,

134
00:06:43.855 --> 00:06:47.365
<00:06:43.855>every, <00:06:44.010>during <00:06:44.166>the <00:06:44.321>session, <00:06:44.477>if <00:06:44.632>you <00:06:44.788>have <00:06:44.943>any, <00:06:45.099>any <00:06:45.255>questions,

135
00:06:47.425 --> 00:06:51.805
<00:06:47.425>if <00:06:47.600>you <00:06:47.775>have <00:06:47.950>any <00:06:48.125>thoughts, <00:06:48.300>any <00:06:48.475>comments, <00:06:48.650>feel <00:06:48.825>free

136
00:06:51.805 --> 00:06:54.285
<00:06:51.805>to <00:06:51.960>keep <00:06:52.116>them, <00:06:52.271>share <00:06:52.427>them <00:06:52.582>in <00:06:52.738>the, <00:06:52.893>in <00:06:53.049>the <00:06:53.205>chat,

137
00:06:54.935 --> 00:06:56.445
<00:06:54.935>share <00:06:55.129>them <00:06:55.323>in <00:06:55.517>the <00:06:55.711>q <00:06:55.905>and <00:06:56.099>a <00:06:56.294>section.

138
00:06:57.585 --> 00:06:59.525
<00:06:57.585>And <00:06:57.818>uh, <00:06:58.051>I <00:06:58.284>or <00:06:58.518>Vincent <00:06:58.751>will <00:06:58.984>try

139
00:06:59.525 --> 00:07:01.845
<00:06:59.525>to <00:06:59.724>pick <00:06:59.924>it <00:07:00.125>up <00:07:00.325>as <00:07:00.525>and <00:07:00.724>when <00:07:00.924>possible.

140
00:07:01.865 --> 00:07:04.325
<00:07:01.865>And <00:07:01.992>we <00:07:02.119>will <00:07:02.246>also <00:07:02.374>have <00:07:02.501>a <00:07:02.628>dedicated <00:07:02.755>q <00:07:02.883>and <00:07:03.010>A <00:07:03.137>at <00:07:03.265>that.

141
00:07:08.455 --> 00:07:10.875
<00:07:08.455>So <00:07:08.630>the <00:07:08.805>first <00:07:08.979>big <00:07:09.155>lesson, <00:07:09.330>which <00:07:09.505>I <00:07:09.680>learned <00:07:09.854>is

142
00:07:10.875 --> 00:07:14.515
<00:07:10.875>that <00:07:11.155>conversation <00:07:11.435>actually <00:07:11.715>happen <00:07:11.995>in <00:07:12.275>our

143
00:07:14.515 --> 00:07:16.315
<00:07:14.515>listening, <00:07:14.865>not <00:07:15.215>in <00:07:15.565>our <00:07:15.914>speaking.

144
00:07:19.235 --> 00:07:22.525
<00:07:19.235>What <00:07:19.335>I <00:07:19.435>mean <00:07:19.535>by <00:07:19.635>that, <00:07:19.735>let <00:07:19.835>me, <00:07:19.935>let <00:07:20.035>me <00:07:20.135>take, <00:07:20.235>let <00:07:20.335>me <00:07:20.435>take <00:07:20.535>a <00:07:20.635>few,

145
00:07:24.025 --> 00:07:25.165
<00:07:24.025>few <00:07:24.538>simple <00:07:25.051>examples.

146
00:07:25.865 --> 00:07:27.565
<00:07:25.865>So <00:07:26.145>when <00:07:26.425>two <00:07:26.705>people <00:07:26.985>are <00:07:27.265>talking,

147
00:07:28.615 --> 00:07:30.925
<00:07:28.615>there <00:07:28.848>are <00:07:29.081>always <00:07:29.315>three <00:07:29.548>conversations <00:07:29.781>going <00:07:30.015>on.

148
00:07:33.315 --> 00:07:36.225
<00:07:33.315>What <00:07:33.515>do <00:07:33.715>I <00:07:33.915>mean <00:07:34.115>by <00:07:34.315>that? <00:07:34.515>I <00:07:34.715>mean

149
00:07:36.225 --> 00:07:37.745
<00:07:36.225>that <00:07:36.453>if <00:07:36.681>if <00:07:36.909>two <00:07:37.137>people <00:07:37.365>are <00:07:37.593>talking,

150
00:07:38.205 --> 00:07:40.065
<00:07:38.205>you <00:07:38.438>can <00:07:38.671>see <00:07:38.905>the <00:07:39.138>words <00:07:39.371>being <00:07:39.604>spoken.

151
00:07:40.165 --> 00:07:42.945
<00:07:40.165>So <00:07:40.305>you <00:07:40.445>can, <00:07:40.585>you <00:07:40.725>can <00:07:40.865>listen <00:07:41.005>to <00:07:41.145>what <00:07:41.285>is <00:07:41.425>being <00:07:41.565>said.

152
00:07:43.135 --> 00:07:46.865
<00:07:43.135>That <00:07:43.290>is <00:07:43.446>the <00:07:43.601>one <00:07:43.757>conversation <00:07:43.912>which <00:07:44.068>is <00:07:44.223>happening <00:07:44.379>in <00:07:44.534>the

153
00:07:46.865 --> 00:07:48.945
<00:07:46.865>outside <00:07:47.098>world, <00:07:47.331>which <00:07:47.565>is <00:07:47.798>visible <00:07:48.031>for <00:07:48.265>everybody

154
00:07:49.005 --> 00:07:50.025
<00:07:49.005>to <00:07:49.311>hear <00:07:49.616>and <00:07:49.923>see.

155
00:07:51.005 --> 00:07:53.385
<00:07:51.005>But <00:07:51.160>at <00:07:51.316>the <00:07:51.471>same <00:07:51.627>time, <00:07:51.782>there <00:07:51.938>are <00:07:52.093>two <00:07:52.249>other <00:07:52.405>conversations

156
00:07:53.385 --> 00:07:56.145
<00:07:53.385>happening <00:07:53.585>in <00:07:53.784>the <00:07:53.985>listening <00:07:54.185>of <00:07:54.385>these <00:07:54.585>two <00:07:54.784>people.

157
00:07:58.885 --> 00:08:01.225
<00:07:58.885>So <00:07:59.118>every, <00:07:59.351>so <00:07:59.585>let's <00:07:59.818>say <00:08:00.051>if <00:08:00.284>A

158
00:08:01.225 --> 00:08:05.945
<00:08:01.225>and <00:08:01.380>B <00:08:01.536>are <00:08:01.691>talking, <00:08:01.847>so <00:08:02.002>everything <00:08:02.158>which <00:08:02.313>is <00:08:02.469>saying <00:08:02.625>B,

159
00:08:06.005 --> 00:08:08.025
<00:08:06.005>is <00:08:06.180>not <00:08:06.355>only <00:08:06.530>listening <00:08:06.705>to <00:08:06.880>what <00:08:07.055>is <00:08:07.230>being <00:08:07.405>said,

160
00:08:08.095 --> 00:08:10.385
<00:08:08.095>what <00:08:08.270>are <00:08:08.445>the <00:08:08.620>exact <00:08:08.795>words <00:08:08.970>which <00:08:09.145>are <00:08:09.320>being <00:08:09.495>communicated,

161
00:08:11.005 --> 00:08:12.745
<00:08:11.005>but <00:08:11.355>b <00:08:11.705>is <00:08:12.055>also <00:08:12.405>interpreting,

162
00:08:12.765 --> 00:08:17.265
<00:08:12.765>and <00:08:12.998>b <00:08:13.231>is <00:08:13.465>also <00:08:13.698>listening <00:08:13.931>to <00:08:14.164>to,

163
00:08:17.525 --> 00:08:20.385
<00:08:17.525>to <00:08:17.700>their <00:08:17.875>internal <00:08:18.049>conversation <00:08:18.224>around <00:08:18.400>what <00:08:18.575>a <00:08:18.750>is <00:08:18.924>saying.

164
00:08:20.965 --> 00:08:23.745
<00:08:20.965>And <00:08:21.164>similarly <00:08:21.364>for, <00:08:21.565>for <00:08:21.765>the <00:08:21.965>other, <00:08:22.164>other <00:08:22.364>side.

165
00:08:25.745 --> 00:08:26.885
<00:08:25.745>So <00:08:25.916>what <00:08:26.087>I, <00:08:26.258>when <00:08:26.429>I <00:08:26.600>say <00:08:26.771>there,

166
00:08:26.885 --> 00:08:28.445
<00:08:26.885>there <00:08:27.235>are <00:08:27.585>three <00:08:27.935>conversations <00:08:28.284>happening.

167
00:08:28.445 --> 00:08:31.005
<00:08:28.445>There <00:08:28.645>is <00:08:28.844>one <00:08:29.045>external <00:08:29.245>conversations <00:08:29.445>which <00:08:29.645>everybody <00:08:29.844>can

168
00:08:31.005 --> 00:08:32.285
<00:08:31.005>listen <00:08:31.293>to, <00:08:31.580>everybody <00:08:31.869>can <00:08:32.156>hear,

169
00:08:32.625 --> 00:08:35.405
<00:08:32.625>but <00:08:32.799>there <00:08:32.975>are <00:08:33.150>two <00:08:33.325>internal <00:08:33.500>conversations <00:08:33.674>which <00:08:33.850>only <00:08:34.025>the

170
00:08:35.405 --> 00:08:39.645
<00:08:35.405>individual <00:08:35.532>people <00:08:35.659>are <00:08:35.786>able <00:08:35.914>to <00:08:36.041>listen <00:08:36.168>to <00:08:36.295>or <00:08:36.423>to <00:08:36.550>make <00:08:36.677>sense <00:08:36.804>of.

171
00:08:41.055 --> 00:08:42.195
<00:08:41.054>And <00:08:41.311>why <00:08:41.568>is <00:08:41.824>this <00:08:42.081>important?

172
00:08:42.985 --> 00:08:46.235
<00:08:42.985>This <00:08:43.159>is <00:08:43.335>important <00:08:43.510>because <00:08:43.685>out <00:08:43.860>of <00:08:44.034>these <00:08:44.210>three <00:08:44.385>conversations,

173
00:08:47.015 --> 00:08:49.835
<00:08:47.015>the <00:08:47.215>two <00:08:47.415>conversations <00:08:47.615>which <00:08:47.814>are <00:08:48.015>most <00:08:48.215>important <00:08:48.415>are

174
00:08:49.835 --> 00:08:52.715
<00:08:49.835>what <00:08:50.010>is <00:08:50.185>not <00:08:50.360>visible <00:08:50.535>to <00:08:50.710>us <00:08:50.885>on <00:08:51.060>the <00:08:51.235>outside,

175
00:08:53.905 --> 00:08:57.085
<00:08:53.905>because <00:08:54.138>people <00:08:54.371>will <00:08:54.605>react, <00:08:54.838>people <00:08:55.071>will <00:08:55.305>respond,

176
00:08:57.305 --> 00:08:58.685
<00:08:57.305>people <00:08:57.718>will <00:08:58.132>take <00:08:58.546>action

177
00:08:58.745 --> 00:09:02.685
<00:08:58.745>or <00:08:58.872>do <00:08:58.999>not <00:08:59.126>take <00:08:59.254>action <00:08:59.381>based <00:08:59.508>on <00:08:59.635>what <00:08:59.763>they <00:08:59.890>are <00:09:00.017>listening, <00:09:00.145>not

178
00:09:02.685 --> 00:09:04.605
<00:09:02.685>what <00:09:02.918>you <00:09:03.151>are <00:09:03.385>saying <00:09:03.618>and <00:09:03.851>based <00:09:04.084>on

179
00:09:04.785 --> 00:09:07.405
<00:09:04.785>how <00:09:04.959>they <00:09:05.135>are <00:09:05.310>listening <00:09:05.485>to <00:09:05.660>what <00:09:05.834>you <00:09:06.010>are <00:09:06.185>saying.

180
00:09:09.055 --> 00:09:10.995
<00:09:09.055>So <00:09:09.288>that's <00:09:09.521>what <00:09:09.755>I <00:09:09.988>mean <00:09:10.221>by <00:09:10.454>that.

181
00:09:10.995 --> 00:09:12.715
<00:09:10.995>There <00:09:11.345>are <00:09:11.695>three <00:09:12.045>conversations <00:09:12.395>happening

182
00:09:12.935 --> 00:09:14.035
<00:09:12.935>at <00:09:13.182>any <00:09:13.430>point <00:09:13.677>of <00:09:13.925>time.

183
00:09:18.075 --> 00:09:20.495
<00:09:18.075>The <00:09:18.230>second <00:09:18.386>point, <00:09:18.541>which <00:09:18.697>I <00:09:18.852>want <00:09:19.008>to <00:09:19.163>address <00:09:19.319>here, <00:09:19.475>is

184
00:09:20.495 --> 00:09:22.175
<00:09:20.495>that <00:09:20.961>everybody <00:09:21.428>listens <00:09:21.895>differently.

185
00:09:24.005 --> 00:09:27.305
<00:09:24.005>And <00:09:24.180>based <00:09:24.355>on <00:09:24.530>our <00:09:24.705>history, <00:09:24.880>based <00:09:25.055>on <00:09:25.230>our <00:09:25.405>cultures,

186
00:09:27.315 --> 00:09:30.065
<00:09:27.315>based <00:09:27.455>on <00:09:27.595>the <00:09:27.735>language, <00:09:27.875>based <00:09:28.015>on <00:09:28.155>the <00:09:28.295>country, <00:09:28.435>we <00:09:28.575>come <00:09:28.715>in,

187
00:09:30.065 --> 00:09:34.265
<00:09:30.065>based <00:09:30.240>on <00:09:30.415>our <00:09:30.590>past <00:09:30.765>experiences, <00:09:30.940>our <00:09:31.115>successes, <00:09:31.290>our <00:09:31.465>failures,

188
00:09:35.455 --> 00:09:37.225
<00:09:35.455>each <00:09:35.735>one <00:09:36.015>of <00:09:36.295>us <00:09:36.575>listens <00:09:36.855>differently.

189
00:09:39.645 --> 00:09:40.905
<00:09:39.645>We <00:09:39.871>all <00:09:40.098>hear <00:09:40.325>the <00:09:40.552>same <00:09:40.779>thing.

190
00:09:41.285 --> 00:09:44.185
<00:09:41.285>If <00:09:41.440>somebody <00:09:41.596>is <00:09:41.751>talking, <00:09:41.907>we <00:09:42.062>all <00:09:42.218>hear <00:09:42.373>the <00:09:42.529>same <00:09:42.685>thing,

191
00:09:44.485 --> 00:09:47.025
<00:09:44.485>but <00:09:44.765>we <00:09:45.045>are <00:09:45.325>listening <00:09:45.605>something <00:09:45.885>different.

192
00:09:47.325 --> 00:09:49.345
<00:09:47.325>And <00:09:47.480>each <00:09:47.636>one <00:09:47.791>of <00:09:47.947>us <00:09:48.102>is <00:09:48.258>unique <00:09:48.413>in <00:09:48.569>that <00:09:48.725>point.

193
00:09:50.495 --> 00:09:53.755
<00:09:50.495>And <00:09:50.670>in <00:09:50.845>a <00:09:51.020>way, <00:09:51.195>listening <00:09:51.370>is <00:09:51.545>kind <00:09:51.720>of <00:09:51.895>translating

194
00:09:54.305 --> 00:09:58.255
<00:09:54.305>what <00:09:54.505>is <00:09:54.704>being <00:09:54.905>spoken <00:09:55.104>to <00:09:55.305>what <00:09:55.505>I <00:09:55.704>understand.

195
00:09:58.955 --> 00:10:02.735
<00:09:58.955>So <00:09:59.155>listening <00:09:59.355>is <00:09:59.555>instant, <00:09:59.755>like <00:09:59.955>constant, <00:10:00.155>always <00:10:00.355>running,

196
00:10:03.675 --> 00:10:05.215
<00:10:03.675>always <00:10:04.367>running <00:10:05.061>interpretation

197
00:10:05.215 --> 00:10:07.895
<00:10:05.215>and <00:10:05.390>translation <00:10:05.565>of <00:10:05.740>what <00:10:05.915>is <00:10:06.090>what <00:10:06.265>I <00:10:06.440>am <00:10:06.615>hearing.

198
00:10:08.075 --> 00:10:10.775
<00:10:08.075>And <00:10:08.250>this <00:10:08.425>includes <00:10:08.600>not <00:10:08.775>only <00:10:08.950>the <00:10:09.125>words <00:10:09.300>being <00:10:09.475>spoken,

199
00:10:10.995 --> 00:10:13.895
<00:10:10.995>but <00:10:11.195>also <00:10:11.395>the <00:10:11.595>way <00:10:11.795>they <00:10:11.995>are <00:10:12.195>being <00:10:12.395>spoken.

200
00:10:14.035 --> 00:10:15.615
<00:10:14.035>So <00:10:14.268>this <00:10:14.501>includes <00:10:14.735>a <00:10:14.968>tone <00:10:15.201>of <00:10:15.435>voice.

201
00:10:15.685 --> 00:10:17.855
<00:10:15.685>This <00:10:15.859>includes <00:10:16.035>the <00:10:16.209>body <00:10:16.385>language <00:10:16.560>of <00:10:16.734>the <00:10:16.910>other <00:10:17.084>person.

202
00:10:18.595 --> 00:10:20.575
<00:10:18.595>And <00:10:18.875>I <00:10:19.155>am <00:10:19.435>always <00:10:19.715>interpreting <00:10:19.995>that.

203
00:10:20.675 --> 00:10:23.855
<00:10:20.675>And <00:10:20.814>I, <00:10:20.954>I <00:10:21.094>am <00:10:21.234>always <00:10:21.375>creating <00:10:21.515>a <00:10:21.655>listening <00:10:21.795>in <00:10:21.935>my <00:10:22.074>head

204
00:10:25.285 --> 00:10:28.205
<00:10:25.285>based <00:10:25.485>on <00:10:25.685>what <00:10:25.885>the <00:10:26.084>other <00:10:26.285>person <00:10:26.485>is <00:10:26.685>saying.

205
00:10:28.345 --> 00:10:33.125
<00:10:28.345>For <00:10:28.500>example, <00:10:28.656>even <00:10:28.811>now <00:10:28.967>when <00:10:29.122>I <00:10:29.278>am <00:10:29.433>speaking, <00:10:29.589>each <00:10:29.745>one

206
00:10:33.125 --> 00:10:34.605
<00:10:33.125>of <00:10:33.391>you <00:10:33.657>would <00:10:33.924>be <00:10:34.190>listening <00:10:34.457>differently.

207
00:10:35.405 --> 00:10:38.345
<00:10:35.405>So <00:10:35.545>some <00:10:35.685>of <00:10:35.824>you <00:10:35.964>might <00:10:36.105>be <00:10:36.245>listening, <00:10:36.385>is <00:10:36.525>listening <00:10:36.665>as <00:10:36.805>like,

208
00:10:38.345 --> 00:10:39.825
<00:10:38.345>this <00:10:38.567>is <00:10:38.789>something <00:10:39.011>which <00:10:39.233>I've <00:10:39.455>heard <00:10:39.677>before.

209
00:10:40.645 --> 00:10:43.385
<00:10:40.645>Or <00:10:40.772>some <00:10:40.899>of <00:10:41.026>you <00:10:41.154>might <00:10:41.281>be <00:10:41.408>listening <00:10:41.535>as <00:10:41.663>this <00:10:41.790>is <00:10:41.917>something <00:10:42.045>new

210
00:10:43.385 --> 00:10:46.665
<00:10:43.385>to <00:10:43.560>me, <00:10:43.735>another <00:10:43.910>person <00:10:44.085>might <00:10:44.260>listen <00:10:44.435>that <00:10:44.610>listen <00:10:44.785>to

211
00:10:46.665 --> 00:10:49.305
<00:10:46.665>what <00:10:46.781>I'm <00:10:46.898>hearing <00:10:47.015>is <00:10:47.131>that, <00:10:47.248>that <00:10:47.365>I <00:10:47.481>do <00:10:47.598>not <00:10:47.714>have <00:10:47.831>time <00:10:47.948>for <00:10:48.064>this

212
00:10:50.205 --> 00:10:51.425
<00:10:50.205>or <00:10:50.388>this <00:10:50.571>is <00:10:50.754>a <00:10:50.937>waste <00:10:51.120>of <00:10:51.303>time.

213
00:10:51.765 --> 00:10:53.825
<00:10:51.765>So <00:10:51.998>each <00:10:52.231>one <00:10:52.465>of <00:10:52.698>us <00:10:52.931>listens <00:10:53.165>differently

214
00:10:54.565 --> 00:10:57.385
<00:10:54.565>and <00:10:54.692>more <00:10:54.819>than <00:10:54.946>what <00:10:55.074>I <00:10:55.201>am <00:10:55.328>speaking <00:10:55.455>out <00:10:55.583>the <00:10:55.710>words <00:10:55.837>which <00:10:55.965>are

215
00:10:57.385 --> 00:10:59.825
<00:10:57.385>coming <00:10:57.585>out <00:10:57.785>of <00:10:57.985>my <00:10:58.185>mouth, <00:10:58.385>what <00:10:58.585>matters <00:10:58.785>is

216
00:11:00.005 --> 00:11:01.745
<00:11:00.005>how <00:11:00.238>each <00:11:00.471>one <00:11:00.705>of <00:11:00.938>you <00:11:01.171>is <00:11:01.405>listening.

217
00:11:02.285 --> 00:11:05.385
<00:11:02.285>The <00:11:02.459>impact <00:11:02.635>of <00:11:02.810>my <00:11:02.985>presentation <00:11:03.160>today, <00:11:03.334>the <00:11:03.510>impact <00:11:03.685>of

218
00:11:05.385 --> 00:11:08.945
<00:11:05.385>what <00:11:05.525>I'm <00:11:05.665>sharing <00:11:05.805>today <00:11:05.944>is <00:11:06.085>going <00:11:06.225>to <00:11:06.365>be <00:11:06.505>determined <00:11:06.645>more <00:11:06.785>by

219
00:11:09.165 --> 00:11:11.145
<00:11:09.165>how <00:11:09.444>you <00:11:09.724>are <00:11:10.005>listening <00:11:10.285>rather <00:11:10.564>than

220
00:11:11.175 --> 00:11:13.385
<00:11:11.175>what <00:11:11.454>the <00:11:11.734>exact <00:11:12.015>words <00:11:12.295>I'm <00:11:12.574>sharing.

221
00:11:15.245 --> 00:11:18.675
<00:11:15.245>Let's <00:11:15.385>move <00:11:15.525>on. <00:11:15.665>Now, <00:11:15.805>this <00:11:15.945>is <00:11:16.085>where <00:11:16.225>it <00:11:16.365>gets <00:11:16.505>very <00:11:16.645>interesting.

222
00:11:21.155 --> 00:11:24.585
<00:11:21.155>We <00:11:21.388>are <00:11:21.621>always <00:11:21.855>speaking <00:11:22.088>from <00:11:22.321>our <00:11:22.555>listening

223
00:11:25.405 --> 00:11:28.105
<00:11:25.405>and <00:11:25.638>we <00:11:25.871>are <00:11:26.105>always <00:11:26.338>speaking <00:11:26.571>into <00:11:26.805>listenings.

224
00:11:31.095 --> 00:11:34.515
<00:11:31.095>So <00:11:31.222>to <00:11:31.349>take <00:11:31.476>an <00:11:31.604>example, <00:11:31.731>I <00:11:31.858>have <00:11:31.985>a <00:11:32.113>listening <00:11:32.240>of <00:11:32.367>my <00:11:32.495>own

225
00:11:35.295 --> 00:11:38.355
<00:11:35.295>and <00:11:35.411>I <00:11:35.528>have <00:11:35.645>a <00:11:35.761>listening <00:11:35.878>that <00:11:35.995>I <00:11:36.111>am <00:11:36.228>a, <00:11:36.344>I'm <00:11:36.461>a <00:11:36.578>software <00:11:36.694>engineer,

226
00:11:38.385 --> 00:11:39.395
<00:11:38.385>term <00:11:38.839>leadership <00:11:39.294>coach.

227
00:11:39.495 --> 00:11:42.675
<00:11:39.495>So <00:11:39.635>that's <00:11:39.775>where <00:11:39.915>I <00:11:40.055>am <00:11:40.195>coming <00:11:40.335>from. <00:11:40.475>So <00:11:40.615>that's <00:11:40.755>my <00:11:40.895>listening.

228
00:11:43.545 --> 00:11:46.205
<00:11:43.545>And <00:11:43.895>now <00:11:44.245>that <00:11:44.594>I'm <00:11:44.944>speaking,

229
00:11:46.445 --> 00:11:48.005
<00:11:46.445>I <00:11:46.725>am <00:11:47.005>speaking <00:11:47.285>from <00:11:47.565>that <00:11:47.845>listening.

230
00:11:48.925 --> 00:11:50.665
<00:11:48.925>And <00:11:49.158>if <00:11:49.391>I <00:11:49.625>have <00:11:49.858>a <00:11:50.091>different <00:11:50.324>listening,

231
00:11:50.685 --> 00:11:52.265
<00:11:50.685>if <00:11:50.964>I <00:11:51.244>have <00:11:51.525>a <00:11:51.805>different <00:11:52.084>internal

232
00:11:52.265 --> 00:11:53.685
<00:11:52.265>listening, <00:11:52.584>I <00:11:52.904>would <00:11:53.223>speak <00:11:53.542>differently.

233
00:11:55.245 --> 00:11:56.835
<00:11:55.245>And <00:11:56.645>similarly,

234
00:11:57.195 --> 00:12:00.875
<00:11:57.195>I <00:11:57.350>am <00:11:57.506>always <00:11:57.661>speaking <00:11:57.817>into <00:11:57.972>different <00:11:58.128>listenings <00:11:58.283>of, <00:11:58.439>of <00:11:58.595>all

235
00:12:00.875 --> 00:12:02.235
<00:12:00.875>of <00:12:01.079>you, <00:12:01.283>of <00:12:01.487>all <00:12:01.691>of <00:12:01.895>the <00:12:02.099>audience.

236
00:12:02.935 --> 00:12:04.675
<00:12:02.935>We <00:12:03.214>never <00:12:03.494>speak <00:12:03.775>into <00:12:04.055>a <00:12:04.334>vacuum.

237
00:12:05.255 --> 00:12:07.835
<00:12:05.255>We <00:12:05.488>never <00:12:05.721>speak <00:12:05.955>into <00:12:06.188>a <00:12:06.421>unanimous <00:12:06.655>space.

238
00:12:08.415 --> 00:12:11.035
<00:12:08.415>We <00:12:08.648>speak <00:12:08.881>into <00:12:09.115>a <00:12:09.348>sea <00:12:09.581>of <00:12:09.814>listenings.

239
00:12:11.855 --> 00:12:13.595
<00:12:11.855>So <00:12:12.088>when <00:12:12.321>I <00:12:12.555>am <00:12:12.788>talking <00:12:13.021>to <00:12:13.255>somebody,

240
00:12:13.895 --> 00:12:17.915
<00:12:13.895>the <00:12:14.022>way <00:12:14.149>the <00:12:14.276>other <00:12:14.404>person <00:12:14.531>is <00:12:14.658>listening <00:12:14.785>to <00:12:14.913>me <00:12:15.040>will <00:12:15.167>depend <00:12:15.295>on

241
00:12:18.025 --> 00:12:20.795
<00:12:18.025>what <00:12:18.199>their <00:12:18.375>listening <00:12:18.550>is <00:12:18.725>and <00:12:18.900>what <00:12:19.074>their <00:12:19.250>background <00:12:19.425>is.

242
00:12:21.495 --> 00:12:25.395
<00:12:21.495>And <00:12:21.602>to, <00:12:21.710>to <00:12:21.818>not <00:12:21.925>be <00:12:22.033>mindful <00:12:22.141>of <00:12:22.248>this, <00:12:22.356>to <00:12:22.464>not <00:12:22.571>be <00:12:22.679>mindful <00:12:22.787>of <00:12:22.895>this

243
00:12:26.015 --> 00:12:27.995
<00:12:26.015>is <00:12:26.215>a <00:12:26.415>huge <00:12:26.615>blind <00:12:26.814>spot <00:12:27.015>which <00:12:27.215>we <00:12:27.415>miss.

244
00:12:28.055 --> 00:12:30.395
<00:12:28.055>So <00:12:28.229>when <00:12:28.405>it <00:12:28.579>comes <00:12:28.755>to <00:12:28.930>communication, <00:12:29.104>when <00:12:29.280>it <00:12:29.454>comes

245
00:12:30.395 --> 00:12:35.035
<00:12:30.395>to <00:12:30.535>communication, <00:12:30.675>we <00:12:30.814>focus <00:12:30.954>so <00:12:31.095>much <00:12:31.235>on <00:12:31.375>what <00:12:31.515>to <00:12:31.655>say, <00:12:31.795>how

246
00:12:35.035 --> 00:12:36.875
<00:12:35.035>to <00:12:35.268>say, <00:12:35.501>how <00:12:35.735>to <00:12:35.968>present <00:12:36.201>our <00:12:36.435>message.

247
00:12:37.575 --> 00:12:39.075
<00:12:37.575>But <00:12:37.800>we, <00:12:38.025>what <00:12:38.250>we <00:12:38.475>miss <00:12:38.700>out <00:12:38.925>is

248
00:12:39.695 --> 00:12:41.475
<00:12:39.695>are <00:12:39.928>we <00:12:40.161>speaking <00:12:40.395>from <00:12:40.628>the <00:12:40.861>right <00:12:41.095>listening?

249
00:12:41.975 --> 00:12:43.755
<00:12:41.975>So <00:12:42.150>let's <00:12:42.325>say <00:12:42.500>I, <00:12:42.675>I <00:12:42.850>join <00:12:43.025>a <00:12:43.200>new <00:12:43.375>company

250
00:12:43.935 --> 00:12:45.195
<00:12:43.935>and <00:12:44.161>I'm <00:12:44.388>talking <00:12:44.615>to <00:12:44.842>my <00:12:45.069>manager

251
00:12:46.095 --> 00:12:49.155
<00:12:46.095>and <00:12:46.328>I <00:12:46.561>have <00:12:46.795>a <00:12:47.028>sense <00:12:47.261>of <00:12:47.495>fear

252
00:12:49.415 --> 00:12:50.875
<00:12:49.415>or <00:12:49.634>I <00:12:49.853>have <00:12:50.072>a <00:12:50.290>sense <00:12:50.510>of <00:12:50.729>anxiety

253
00:12:51.705 --> 00:12:53.955
<00:12:51.705>that <00:12:51.938>will <00:12:52.171>determine <00:12:52.405>everything <00:12:52.638>which <00:12:52.871>I <00:12:53.105>say

254
00:12:54.105 --> 00:12:57.195
<00:12:54.105>that <00:12:54.245>will <00:12:54.385>influence <00:12:54.525>every <00:12:54.665>word <00:12:54.805>which <00:12:54.945>comes <00:12:55.085>out <00:12:55.225>of <00:12:55.365>my <00:12:55.505>mouth.

255
00:12:58.015 --> 00:13:00.755
<00:12:58.015>So <00:12:58.295>my <00:12:58.574>internal <00:12:58.855>listening <00:12:59.135>will <00:12:59.415>shape

256
00:13:01.335 --> 00:13:03.475
<00:13:01.335>how <00:13:01.568>I <00:13:01.801>speak <00:13:02.035>out <00:13:02.268>in <00:13:02.501>the <00:13:02.735>world.

257
00:13:03.575 --> 00:13:06.475
<00:13:03.575>And <00:13:03.730>to <00:13:03.886>not <00:13:04.041>be <00:13:04.197>mindful <00:13:04.352>of <00:13:04.508>that <00:13:04.663>is <00:13:04.819>only <00:13:04.975>going

258
00:13:06.475 --> 00:13:07.595
<00:13:06.475>to <00:13:06.811>work <00:13:07.147>against <00:13:07.483>me.

259
00:13:08.175 --> 00:13:11.035
<00:13:08.175>If <00:13:08.291>I <00:13:08.408>am <00:13:08.525>mindful <00:13:08.641>of <00:13:08.758>that, <00:13:08.875>that <00:13:08.991>I <00:13:09.108>am <00:13:09.224>new <00:13:09.341>to <00:13:09.458>this <00:13:09.574>company,

260
00:13:11.295 --> 00:13:12.995
<00:13:11.295>I'm <00:13:11.574>new <00:13:11.854>to <00:13:12.135>this <00:13:12.415>manager, <00:13:12.694>and

261
00:13:12.995 --> 00:13:15.475
<00:13:12.995>because <00:13:13.150>of <00:13:13.306>that <00:13:13.461>I <00:13:13.617>am, <00:13:13.772>I'm <00:13:13.928>a <00:13:14.083>little <00:13:14.239>bit <00:13:14.395>anxious,

262
00:13:15.615 --> 00:13:16.715
<00:13:15.615>I'm <00:13:15.862>a <00:13:16.110>little <00:13:16.357>bit <00:13:16.605>doubtful.

263
00:13:17.435 --> 00:13:20.535
<00:13:17.435>And <00:13:17.574>what <00:13:17.714>can <00:13:17.854>I <00:13:17.994>do <00:13:18.135>to <00:13:18.275>speak <00:13:18.415>from <00:13:18.555>a <00:13:18.694>different <00:13:18.834>listening

264
00:13:20.535 --> 00:13:22.535
<00:13:20.535>to <00:13:20.709>speak <00:13:20.885>from <00:13:21.060>a <00:13:21.235>place <00:13:21.410>where <00:13:21.584>I <00:13:21.760>am <00:13:21.935>confident

265
00:13:22.555 --> 00:13:23.695
<00:13:22.555>or <00:13:22.760>where <00:13:22.965>I <00:13:23.170>am <00:13:23.375>at <00:13:23.581>ease?

266
00:13:24.805 --> 00:13:26.895
<00:13:24.805>Similarly, <00:13:25.084>when <00:13:25.364>I'm <00:13:25.645>talking <00:13:25.925>to <00:13:26.204>somebody,

267
00:13:27.205 --> 00:13:29.095
<00:13:27.205>what <00:13:27.438>is <00:13:27.671>the <00:13:27.905>listening <00:13:28.138>that <00:13:28.371>they <00:13:28.605>have?

268
00:13:30.445 --> 00:13:35.285
<00:13:30.445>And <00:13:30.585>then <00:13:30.725>a <00:13:30.865>very <00:13:31.005>powerful <00:13:31.145>question <00:13:31.285>to <00:13:31.425>ask <00:13:31.565>yourself <00:13:31.705>is <00:13:31.845>that,

269
00:13:35.425 --> 00:13:37.205
<00:13:35.425>is <00:13:35.658>there <00:13:35.891>a <00:13:36.125>listening <00:13:36.358>for <00:13:36.591>my <00:13:36.824>speaking?

270
00:13:37.915 --> 00:13:40.925
<00:13:37.915>Because <00:13:38.089>unless <00:13:38.265>there <00:13:38.439>is <00:13:38.615>a <00:13:38.790>listening <00:13:38.964>for <00:13:39.140>your <00:13:39.314>speaking,

271
00:13:42.155 --> 00:13:43.475
<00:13:42.155>whatever <00:13:42.452>you're <00:13:42.749>trying <00:13:43.046>to <00:13:43.343>communicate,

272
00:13:43.715 --> 00:13:46.395
<00:13:43.715>whatever <00:13:43.995>you're <00:13:44.275>speaking <00:13:44.555>will <00:13:44.835>not <00:13:45.115>land

273
00:13:46.495 --> 00:13:47.555
<00:13:46.495>as <00:13:46.685>you <00:13:46.876>want <00:13:47.067>it <00:13:47.258>to <00:13:47.449>land.

274
00:13:49.025 --> 00:13:51.745
<00:13:49.025>To <00:13:49.225>take <00:13:49.425>an <00:13:49.625>example, <00:13:49.824>you <00:13:50.025>want <00:13:50.225>to <00:13:50.425>talk

275
00:13:51.745 --> 00:13:54.915
<00:13:51.745>to <00:13:51.945>your <00:13:52.145>manager <00:13:52.345>about <00:13:52.545>something <00:13:52.745>very <00:13:52.945>important <00:13:53.145>and,

276
00:13:55.015 --> 00:13:56.595
<00:13:55.015>and <00:13:55.215>you <00:13:55.415>go <00:13:55.615>up <00:13:55.814>to <00:13:56.015>your <00:13:56.215>manager's <00:13:56.415>desk

277
00:13:56.655 --> 00:14:00.515
<00:13:56.655>and <00:13:56.771>say, <00:13:56.888>can <00:13:57.005>I, <00:13:57.121>can <00:13:57.238>I <00:13:57.355>talk <00:13:57.471>to <00:13:57.588>you <00:13:57.704>about, <00:13:57.821>about <00:13:57.938>or <00:13:58.055>something?

278
00:14:01.415 --> 00:14:04.075
<00:14:01.415>And <00:14:01.522>the <00:14:01.630>manager <00:14:01.738>says <00:14:01.845>that <00:14:01.953>I <00:14:02.061>am <00:14:02.168>in <00:14:02.276>a <00:14:02.384>hurry, <00:14:02.491>I <00:14:02.599>have <00:14:02.707>to <00:14:02.814>go

279
00:14:04.075 --> 00:14:06.155
<00:14:04.075>to <00:14:04.230>a <00:14:04.386>meeting, <00:14:04.541>so <00:14:04.697>I <00:14:04.852>have <00:14:05.008>five <00:14:05.163>minutes <00:14:05.319>for <00:14:05.475>you

280
00:14:07.325 --> 00:14:09.105
<00:14:07.325>and <00:14:07.675>let's <00:14:08.025>talk <00:14:08.375>about <00:14:08.725>it.

281
00:14:09.965 --> 00:14:11.425
<00:14:09.965>And <00:14:10.184>now <00:14:10.403>you <00:14:10.622>have <00:14:10.841>a <00:14:11.060>choice, <00:14:11.279>right?

282
00:14:11.445 --> 00:14:12.945
<00:14:11.445>So <00:14:11.715>if <00:14:11.985>your <00:14:12.255>issue <00:14:12.525>is <00:14:12.795>critical,

283
00:14:13.125 --> 00:14:17.065
<00:14:13.125>and <00:14:13.280>if <00:14:13.436>you <00:14:13.591>see <00:14:13.747>that <00:14:13.902>the <00:14:14.058>manager <00:14:14.213>is <00:14:14.369>hurried <00:14:14.525>or,

284
00:14:17.085 --> 00:14:19.465
<00:14:17.085>or <00:14:17.212>they <00:14:17.339>have <00:14:17.466>only <00:14:17.594>five <00:14:17.721>minutes, <00:14:17.848>so <00:14:17.975>they <00:14:18.103>will <00:14:18.230>not <00:14:18.357>be <00:14:18.485>able

285
00:14:19.465 --> 00:14:22.985
<00:14:19.465>to <00:14:19.620>give <00:14:19.776>full <00:14:19.931>attention <00:14:20.087>to <00:14:20.242>what <00:14:20.398>you <00:14:20.553>have <00:14:20.709>to <00:14:20.865>say.

286
00:14:23.125 --> 00:14:26.585
<00:14:23.125>In <00:14:23.280>a <00:14:23.436>way, <00:14:23.591>the <00:14:23.747>manager <00:14:23.902>at <00:14:24.058>this <00:14:24.213>point <00:14:24.369>of <00:14:24.525>time

287
00:14:27.995 --> 00:14:30.445
<00:14:27.995>does <00:14:28.135>not <00:14:28.275>have <00:14:28.415>a <00:14:28.555>listening <00:14:28.695>for <00:14:28.835>what <00:14:28.975>you <00:14:29.115>want <00:14:29.255>to <00:14:29.395>communicate.

288
00:14:31.195 --> 00:14:34.335
<00:14:31.195>And <00:14:31.350>then <00:14:31.506>if <00:14:31.661>you <00:14:31.817>understand <00:14:31.972>that, <00:14:32.128>you <00:14:32.283>might <00:14:32.439>stop <00:14:32.595>there.

289
00:14:34.435 --> 00:14:37.255
<00:14:34.435>You <00:14:34.609>might <00:14:34.785>say, <00:14:34.959>instead <00:14:35.135>of <00:14:35.310>using <00:14:35.484>this <00:14:35.660>five <00:14:35.834>minutes

290
00:14:37.315 --> 00:14:40.095
<00:14:37.315>to <00:14:37.490>talk <00:14:37.665>about <00:14:37.840>your <00:14:38.015>critical <00:14:38.190>issue, <00:14:38.365>you <00:14:38.540>might <00:14:38.715>say

291
00:14:41.325 --> 00:14:43.055
<00:14:41.325>that <00:14:41.525>this <00:14:41.725>is <00:14:41.925>an <00:14:42.125>important <00:14:42.325>issue <00:14:42.525>for <00:14:42.725>me.

292
00:14:43.145 --> 00:14:44.255
<00:14:43.145>Let's <00:14:43.478>schedule <00:14:43.811>another <00:14:44.144>time.

293
00:14:45.035 --> 00:14:46.865
<00:14:45.035>Let's <00:14:45.268>schedule <00:14:45.501>when <00:14:45.735>you <00:14:45.968>can <00:14:46.201>talk, <00:14:46.435>listen

294
00:14:46.925 --> 00:14:49.025
<00:14:46.925>to <00:14:47.275>me, <00:14:47.625>uh, <00:14:47.974>with <00:14:48.324>attention.

295
00:14:49.265 --> 00:14:50.545
<00:14:49.265>I <00:14:49.457>do <00:14:49.649>not <00:14:49.841>want <00:14:50.033>to <00:14:50.225>disturb <00:14:50.416>you

296
00:14:50.545 --> 00:14:52.200
<00:14:50.545>because <00:14:50.778>you <00:14:51.011>have <00:14:51.245>another <00:14:51.478>meeting <00:14:51.711>lined <00:14:51.944>up.

297
00:14:52.945 --> 00:14:56.885
<00:14:52.945>Uh, <00:14:53.145>so <00:14:53.345>focusing <00:14:53.545>on <00:14:53.745>whether <00:14:53.945>there's <00:14:54.145>a <00:14:54.345>listening

298
00:14:56.885 --> 00:15:01.325
<00:14:56.885>for <00:14:57.040>my <00:14:57.196>speaking <00:14:57.351>allows <00:14:57.507>me <00:14:57.662>to <00:14:57.818>choose <00:14:57.973>when <00:14:58.129>to <00:14:58.285>speak

299
00:15:01.475 --> 00:15:03.245
<00:15:01.475>what <00:15:01.630>I <00:15:01.786>have <00:15:01.941>to <00:15:02.097>choose, <00:15:02.252>what <00:15:02.408>I <00:15:02.563>have <00:15:02.719>to <00:15:02.875>speak.

300
00:15:04.615 --> 00:15:08.085
<00:15:04.615>Similarly, <00:15:04.815>there <00:15:05.015>is <00:15:05.215>a <00:15:05.415>different <00:15:05.615>listening <00:15:05.815>for <00:15:06.015>all

301
00:15:08.085 --> 00:15:11.005
<00:15:08.085>of <00:15:08.285>us <00:15:08.485>at <00:15:08.685>different <00:15:08.885>times <00:15:09.085>of <00:15:09.285>the <00:15:09.485>day

302
00:15:12.095 --> 00:15:13.315
<00:15:12.095>and <00:15:12.314>different <00:15:12.534>times <00:15:12.753>of <00:15:12.973>the <00:15:13.193>week.

303
00:15:13.775 --> 00:15:16.235
<00:15:13.775>So <00:15:14.008>we <00:15:14.241>are, <00:15:14.475>we <00:15:14.708>are <00:15:14.941>normally <00:15:15.175>ready,

304
00:15:16.415 --> 00:15:19.235
<00:15:16.415>we <00:15:16.555>are <00:15:16.694>normally <00:15:16.834>more <00:15:16.974>excited <00:15:17.115>to <00:15:17.255>get <00:15:17.395>into <00:15:17.535>work <00:15:17.675>on <00:15:17.814>Monday,

305
00:15:20.085 --> 00:15:23.025
<00:15:20.085>and <00:15:20.201>we <00:15:20.318>are <00:15:20.435>a <00:15:20.551>bit <00:15:20.668>bit <00:15:20.785>off, <00:15:20.901>we <00:15:21.018>are <00:15:21.135>a <00:15:21.251>bit <00:15:21.368>tired, <00:15:21.485>uh,

306
00:15:23.055 --> 00:15:24.945
<00:15:23.055>both <00:15:23.334>mentally <00:15:23.614>and <00:15:23.895>physically <00:15:24.175>by <00:15:24.454>Fridays.

307
00:15:25.525 --> 00:15:27.825
<00:15:25.525>And <00:15:25.680>the <00:15:25.836>same <00:15:25.991>cycle <00:15:26.147>goes <00:15:26.302>in <00:15:26.458>the <00:15:26.613>from <00:15:26.769>the <00:15:26.925>morning,

308
00:15:27.825 --> 00:15:28.905
<00:15:27.825>afternoon <00:15:28.311>to <00:15:28.797>evening.

309
00:15:30.515 --> 00:15:33.815
<00:15:30.515>And <00:15:30.655>if <00:15:30.795>I <00:15:30.935>am <00:15:31.074>being <00:15:31.215>conscious <00:15:31.355>about <00:15:31.495>that, <00:15:31.635>I <00:15:31.775>can <00:15:31.915>use

310
00:15:33.915 --> 00:15:35.615
<00:15:33.915>or <00:15:34.194>I <00:15:34.474>can <00:15:34.755>schedule <00:15:35.035>my <00:15:35.314>communication,

311
00:15:35.695 --> 00:15:38.855
<00:15:35.695>I <00:15:35.835>can <00:15:35.975>schedule <00:15:36.115>my <00:15:36.255>meetings <00:15:36.395>when <00:15:36.535>the <00:15:36.675>other <00:15:36.815>person <00:15:36.955>has <00:15:37.095>the

312
00:15:38.855 --> 00:15:40.615
<00:15:38.855>best <00:15:39.055>listening <00:15:39.255>for <00:15:39.455>what <00:15:39.655>I <00:15:39.855>want <00:15:40.055>to <00:15:40.255>share.

313
00:15:41.205 --> 00:15:43.745
<00:15:41.205>So <00:15:41.345>if <00:15:41.485>I <00:15:41.625>want <00:15:41.765>to <00:15:41.905>talk <00:15:42.045>about <00:15:42.185>planning, <00:15:42.325>if <00:15:42.465>I <00:15:42.605>want

314
00:15:43.745 --> 00:15:45.905
<00:15:43.745>to <00:15:43.900>talk <00:15:44.056>about <00:15:44.211>creating <00:15:44.367>a <00:15:44.522>big <00:15:44.678>vision <00:15:44.833>as <00:15:44.989>a <00:15:45.145>leader,

315
00:15:48.315 --> 00:15:50.955
<00:15:48.315>I <00:15:48.442>would <00:15:48.569>be <00:15:48.696>very <00:15:48.824>mindful <00:15:48.951>of <00:15:49.078>doing <00:15:49.205>it <00:15:49.333>on <00:15:49.460>a <00:15:49.587>Friday <00:15:49.715>afternoon

316
00:15:51.875 --> 00:15:53.205
<00:15:51.875>because <00:15:52.274>I <00:15:52.673>would <00:15:53.072>know

317
00:15:53.635 --> 00:15:56.925
<00:15:53.635>that <00:15:53.790>my <00:15:53.946>audience <00:15:54.101>most <00:15:54.257>likely <00:15:54.412>will <00:15:54.568>not <00:15:54.723>have <00:15:54.879>a <00:15:55.035>listening

318
00:15:57.625 --> 00:15:59.965
<00:15:57.625>of <00:15:57.858>dreaming <00:15:58.091>big <00:15:58.325>or <00:15:58.558>of <00:15:58.791>visioning <00:15:59.025>big.

319
00:16:00.465 --> 00:16:02.445
<00:16:00.465>And <00:16:00.698>obviously <00:16:00.931>this <00:16:01.165>depends <00:16:01.398>on <00:16:01.631>the <00:16:01.865>audience,

320
00:16:02.445 --> 00:16:04.485
<00:16:02.445>this <00:16:02.678>depends <00:16:02.911>on <00:16:03.145>the <00:16:03.378>culture, <00:16:03.611>company, <00:16:03.845>country,

321
00:16:04.485 --> 00:16:05.645
<00:16:04.485>where <00:16:04.746>you <00:16:05.007>are <00:16:05.268>located <00:16:05.529>in.

322
00:16:06.505 --> 00:16:09.325
<00:16:06.505>But <00:16:06.660>what <00:16:06.816>I'm <00:16:06.971>suggesting <00:16:07.127>is <00:16:07.282>to <00:16:07.438>be <00:16:07.593>mindful <00:16:07.749>of <00:16:07.905>that.

323
00:16:10.805 --> 00:16:13.505
<00:16:10.805>And <00:16:10.944>if <00:16:11.084>you <00:16:11.224>sense <00:16:11.364>that <00:16:11.505>you <00:16:11.645>do <00:16:11.785>not <00:16:11.925>have <00:16:12.064>the <00:16:12.204>listening

324
00:16:13.925 --> 00:16:15.745
<00:16:13.925>for <00:16:14.204>your <00:16:14.484>communication, <00:16:14.765>for <00:16:15.045>your <00:16:15.324>speaking,

325
00:16:16.445 --> 00:16:19.905
<00:16:16.445>the <00:16:16.585>question <00:16:16.725>which <00:16:16.865>comes <00:16:17.005>up <00:16:17.145>is <00:16:17.285>that <00:16:17.425>what <00:16:17.565>can <00:16:17.705>you <00:16:17.845>do

326
00:16:20.365 --> 00:16:21.705
<00:16:20.365>to <00:16:20.606>create <00:16:20.847>that <00:16:21.088>listening <00:16:21.329>for <00:16:21.571>others?

327
00:16:21.855 --> 00:16:23.625
<00:16:21.855>This <00:16:22.055>could <00:16:22.255>be <00:16:22.455>asking <00:16:22.655>for <00:16:22.855>a <00:16:23.055>dedicated <00:16:23.255>time,

328
00:16:24.285 --> 00:16:26.975
<00:16:24.285>or <00:16:24.440>this <00:16:24.596>could <00:16:24.751>be <00:16:24.907>clearing <00:16:25.062>up <00:16:25.218>something <00:16:25.373>in <00:16:25.529>the <00:16:25.685>past.

329
00:16:28.355 --> 00:16:30.245
<00:16:28.355>Like <00:16:28.510>you, <00:16:28.666>if <00:16:28.821>you, <00:16:28.977>if <00:16:29.132>you, <00:16:29.288>if <00:16:29.443>you <00:16:29.599>have <00:16:29.755>a,

330
00:16:30.655 --> 00:16:33.485
<00:16:30.655>let's <00:16:30.795>say <00:16:30.935>if <00:16:31.074>you <00:16:31.214>have <00:16:31.355>a <00:16:31.495>bad <00:16:31.635>argument <00:16:31.775>with <00:16:31.915>your <00:16:32.055>manager,

331
00:16:34.625 --> 00:16:37.645
<00:16:34.625>and <00:16:34.765>then <00:16:34.905>the <00:16:35.045>next <00:16:35.185>day <00:16:35.325>you <00:16:35.465>want <00:16:35.605>to <00:16:35.745>have <00:16:35.885>a <00:16:36.025>conversation,

332
00:16:38.415 --> 00:16:40.165
<00:16:38.415>there <00:16:38.694>will <00:16:38.974>be <00:16:39.255>this <00:16:39.535>old <00:16:39.814>listening

333
00:16:40.165 --> 00:16:41.845
<00:16:40.165>of <00:16:40.515>the <00:16:40.865>last <00:16:41.214>yesterday's <00:16:41.564>conversation.

334
00:16:42.385 --> 00:16:46.345
<00:16:42.385>And <00:16:42.501>that <00:16:42.618>might <00:16:42.735>impact <00:16:42.851>what <00:16:42.968>you <00:16:43.085>have <00:16:43.201>to <00:16:43.318>say <00:16:43.435>on <00:16:43.551>the <00:16:43.668>next <00:16:43.785>day.

335
00:16:46.885 --> 00:16:48.945
<00:16:46.885>And <00:16:47.085>how <00:16:47.285>do <00:16:47.485>you <00:16:47.685>create <00:16:47.885>a <00:16:48.085>listening <00:16:48.285>that,

336
00:16:48.945 --> 00:16:51.625
<00:16:48.945>that <00:16:49.145>might <00:16:49.345>involve <00:16:49.545>having <00:16:49.745>a <00:16:49.945>conversation <00:16:50.145>about <00:16:50.345>yesterday?

337
00:16:51.625 --> 00:16:54.345
<00:16:51.625>First, <00:16:51.825>like <00:16:52.025>we <00:16:52.225>had <00:16:52.425>a <00:16:52.625>conversation <00:16:52.825>yesterday <00:16:53.025>which

338
00:16:54.345 --> 00:16:55.385
<00:16:54.345>went, <00:16:54.657>which <00:16:54.969>went <00:16:55.281>heated.

339
00:16:55.385 --> 00:16:57.265
<00:16:55.385>And <00:16:55.560>I <00:16:55.735>want <00:16:55.910>to <00:16:56.085>clarify, <00:16:56.260>I <00:16:56.435>want <00:16:56.610>to <00:16:56.785>apologize,

340
00:16:58.185 --> 00:17:00.265
<00:16:58.185>whatever <00:16:58.385>is <00:16:58.584>required <00:16:58.785>to <00:16:58.984>clear <00:16:59.185>that <00:16:59.385>space <00:16:59.584>up

341
00:17:00.925 --> 00:17:04.905
<00:17:00.925>and <00:17:01.080>then <00:17:01.236>bringing <00:17:01.391>on <00:17:01.547>your <00:17:01.702>next <00:17:01.858>agenda <00:17:02.013>instead <00:17:02.169>of <00:17:02.324>piling

342
00:17:05.445 --> 00:17:09.185
<00:17:05.444>things <00:17:05.724>over <00:17:06.004>old <00:17:06.284>unheard <00:17:06.564>of <00:17:06.845>listenings,

343
00:17:09.715 --> 00:17:11.505
<00:17:09.714>which <00:17:09.948>is <00:17:10.181>always <00:17:10.415>there <00:17:10.648>in <00:17:10.881>the <00:17:11.115>background,

344
00:17:11.645 --> 00:17:14.265
<00:17:11.645>but <00:17:11.761>it <00:17:11.878>is <00:17:11.994>not <00:17:12.111>visible <00:17:12.228>to <00:17:12.345>us <00:17:12.461>and <00:17:12.578>it <00:17:12.694>makes <00:17:12.811>a <00:17:12.928>big <00:17:13.045>difference.

345
00:17:15.875 --> 00:17:17.455
<00:17:15.875>So <00:17:16.155>that's <00:17:16.435>the <00:17:16.714>first <00:17:16.994>big <00:17:17.275>lesson

346
00:17:18.265 --> 00:17:20.015
<00:17:18.265>which <00:17:18.545>I <00:17:18.825>have <00:17:19.105>learned <00:17:19.385>around <00:17:19.665>communication.

347
00:17:20.245 --> 00:17:22.305
<00:17:20.244>That <00:17:21.645>communication

348
00:17:22.605 --> 00:17:26.205
<00:17:22.605>and <00:17:22.885>speaking <00:17:23.165>is <00:17:23.444>all <00:17:23.724>about <00:17:24.005>listening.

349
00:17:28.245 --> 00:17:30.145
<00:17:28.244>In <00:17:28.524>fact, <00:17:28.804>I <00:17:29.084>would <00:17:29.364>even <00:17:29.645>say,

350
00:17:30.445 --> 00:17:34.625
<00:17:30.445>and <00:17:30.572>I <00:17:30.699>say <00:17:30.826>this <00:17:30.954>to <00:17:31.081>leaders <00:17:31.208>all <00:17:31.335>the <00:17:31.463>time, <00:17:31.590>that <00:17:31.717>the <00:17:31.845>product,

351
00:17:35.045 --> 00:17:38.625
<00:17:35.045>the <00:17:35.245>output <00:17:35.445>of <00:17:35.645>your <00:17:35.845>leadership, <00:17:36.045>of <00:17:36.245>your <00:17:36.445>influence

352
00:17:39.565 --> 00:17:41.385
<00:17:39.565>is <00:17:39.798>the <00:17:40.031>listening <00:17:40.265>you <00:17:40.498>produce <00:17:40.731>in <00:17:40.965>others.

353
00:17:43.375 --> 00:17:45.915
<00:17:43.375>If <00:17:43.575>the <00:17:43.775>listening <00:17:43.975>you <00:17:44.175>produce <00:17:44.375>in <00:17:44.575>others <00:17:44.775>is

354
00:17:45.915 --> 00:17:49.925
<00:17:45.915>that <00:17:46.070>this <00:17:46.226>person <00:17:46.381>is <00:17:46.537>trustworthy <00:17:46.692>or <00:17:46.848>this <00:17:47.003>person <00:17:47.159>keeps <00:17:47.315>his

355
00:17:49.945 --> 00:17:51.565
<00:17:49.945>or <00:17:50.411>keeps <00:17:50.878>their <00:17:51.345>promises,

356
00:17:52.535 --> 00:17:54.865
<00:17:52.535>then <00:17:52.768>everything <00:17:53.001>you <00:17:53.235>say <00:17:53.468>will <00:17:53.701>become <00:17:53.935>easier.

357
00:17:55.945 --> 00:17:58.075
<00:17:55.945>However, <00:17:56.225>if <00:17:56.504>you <00:17:56.784>have <00:17:57.064>a <00:17:57.345>listening

358
00:17:58.225 --> 00:18:00.315
<00:17:58.225>that <00:17:58.504>this <00:17:58.784>person <00:17:59.064>is <00:17:59.344>not <00:17:59.625>trustworthy

359
00:18:01.015 --> 00:18:03.315
<00:18:01.015>or <00:18:01.248>I <00:18:01.481>cannot <00:18:01.715>rely <00:18:01.948>on <00:18:02.181>this <00:18:02.415>person

360
00:18:03.845 --> 00:18:05.555
<00:18:03.845>based <00:18:04.045>on <00:18:04.245>whatever <00:18:04.445>has <00:18:04.645>happened <00:18:04.845>in <00:18:05.045>the <00:18:05.245>past,

361
00:18:06.425 --> 00:18:09.675
<00:18:06.425>then <00:18:06.600>everything <00:18:06.774>you <00:18:06.950>say <00:18:07.125>you <00:18:07.300>will <00:18:07.475>have <00:18:07.649>to <00:18:07.825>like,

362
00:18:09.745 --> 00:18:11.515
<00:18:09.745>like <00:18:10.024>ride <00:18:10.304>an <00:18:10.584>up <00:18:10.864>uphill <00:18:11.145>battle.

363
00:18:12.655 --> 00:18:16.635
<00:18:12.655>So <00:18:12.810>as <00:18:12.966>a <00:18:13.121>leader, <00:18:13.277>your <00:18:13.432>product <00:18:13.588>more <00:18:13.743>than <00:18:13.899>your <00:18:14.055>projects,

364
00:18:16.635 --> 00:18:19.835
<00:18:16.635>your <00:18:16.810>outcome <00:18:16.985>is <00:18:17.160>the <00:18:17.335>listening <00:18:17.510>which <00:18:17.685>you're <00:18:17.860>producing <00:18:18.035>in

365
00:18:19.835 --> 00:18:23.475
<00:18:19.835>others <00:18:20.068>because <00:18:20.301>behind <00:18:20.535>the <00:18:20.768>scenes <00:18:21.001>it'll <00:18:21.235>influence,

366
00:18:23.565 --> 00:18:25.595
<00:18:23.565>it'll <00:18:24.031>impact <00:18:24.498>every <00:18:24.965>word,

367
00:18:25.595 --> 00:18:27.755
<00:18:25.595>every <00:18:25.795>communication <00:18:25.995>which <00:18:26.195>comes <00:18:26.395>out <00:18:26.595>of <00:18:26.795>your <00:18:26.995>mouth.

368
00:18:30.795 --> 00:18:31.935
<00:18:30.795>So <00:18:31.051>that's <00:18:31.308>the <00:18:31.564>first <00:18:31.821>lesson.

369
00:18:32.235 --> 00:18:36.215
<00:18:32.235>The <00:18:32.409>second <00:18:32.584>lesson, <00:18:32.760>which <00:18:32.935>I <00:18:33.110>have <00:18:33.284>learned <00:18:33.459>about <00:18:33.635>language,

370
00:18:39.095 --> 00:18:43.875
<00:18:39.095>is <00:18:39.250>that <00:18:39.406>language <00:18:39.561>is <00:18:39.717>not <00:18:39.872>merely <00:18:40.028>a <00:18:40.183>tool <00:18:40.339>for <00:18:40.495>communication

371
00:18:43.895 --> 00:18:45.035
<00:18:43.895>or <00:18:44.408>describing <00:18:44.921>something.

372
00:18:46.835 --> 00:18:49.875
<00:18:46.835>Language <00:18:47.068>is <00:18:47.301>actually <00:18:47.535>a <00:18:47.768>tool <00:18:48.001>for <00:18:48.235>creating

373
00:18:50.295 --> 00:18:51.515
<00:18:50.295>and <00:18:50.569>we <00:18:50.844>are <00:18:51.118>already <00:18:51.393>doing.

374
00:18:51.535 --> 00:18:55.035
<00:18:51.535>So <00:18:51.735>we <00:18:51.935>are <00:18:52.135>already <00:18:52.335>using <00:18:52.535>language <00:18:52.735>to <00:18:52.935>create

375
00:18:55.545 --> 00:18:56.675
<00:18:55.545>results <00:18:55.884>in <00:18:56.223>our <00:18:56.562>life

376
00:18:57.335 --> 00:19:00.435
<00:18:57.335>and <00:18:57.490>also <00:18:57.646>to <00:18:57.801>create <00:18:57.957>how <00:18:58.112>we <00:18:58.268>sense <00:18:58.423>something <00:18:58.579>is <00:18:58.735>there.

377
00:19:00.495 --> 00:19:04.155
<00:19:00.495>So <00:19:00.650>how <00:19:00.806>we <00:19:00.961>experience <00:19:01.117>something <00:19:01.272>is <00:19:01.428>also <00:19:01.583>created <00:19:01.739>in <00:19:01.895>language.

378
00:19:09.585 --> 00:19:12.495
<00:19:09.585>Let's <00:19:09.785>take <00:19:09.985>an <00:19:10.185>example. <00:19:10.385>So <00:19:10.585>remember <00:19:10.785>every <00:19:10.985>time

379
00:19:12.805 --> 00:19:15.295
<00:19:12.805>that <00:19:12.960>you <00:19:13.116>have <00:19:13.271>said <00:19:13.427>yes <00:19:13.582>or <00:19:13.738>no <00:19:13.893>in <00:19:14.049>the <00:19:14.205>past,

380
00:19:16.655 --> 00:19:18.955
<00:19:16.655>and <00:19:16.855>every <00:19:17.055>time <00:19:17.254>you <00:19:17.455>say <00:19:17.655>yes <00:19:17.855>to <00:19:18.055>something,

381
00:19:19.655 --> 00:19:21.115
<00:19:19.655>you <00:19:19.983>create <00:19:20.312>a <00:19:20.640>different <00:19:20.969>future.

382
00:19:22.005 --> 00:19:23.425
<00:19:22.005>So <00:19:22.260>something <00:19:22.516>in <00:19:22.771>the <00:19:23.027>future <00:19:23.283>changes

383
00:19:23.425 --> 00:19:26.785
<00:19:23.425>because <00:19:23.565>you <00:19:23.705>said <00:19:23.845>yes <00:19:23.985>to <00:19:24.125>something <00:19:24.264>and <00:19:24.405>it <00:19:24.544>is <00:19:24.685>not <00:19:24.825>trivial.

384
00:19:27.945 --> 00:19:30.925
<00:19:27.945>If <00:19:28.061>I <00:19:28.178>ask <00:19:28.294>you <00:19:28.411>to <00:19:28.528>meet <00:19:28.645>me <00:19:28.761>at <00:19:28.878>5:00 <00:19:28.995>PM <00:19:29.111>in <00:19:29.228>the <00:19:29.345>evening

385
00:19:31.465 --> 00:19:34.085
<00:19:31.465>and <00:19:31.620>you <00:19:31.776>say, <00:19:31.931>yes, <00:19:32.087>you <00:19:32.242>have <00:19:32.398>created <00:19:32.553>a <00:19:32.709>new <00:19:32.865>feature,

386
00:19:34.455 --> 00:19:36.405
<00:19:34.455>which <00:19:34.655>was <00:19:34.855>not <00:19:35.054>going <00:19:35.254>to <00:19:35.455>happen, <00:19:35.655>uh, <00:19:35.855>otherwise.

387
00:19:37.035 --> 00:19:38.445
<00:19:37.035>Similarly, <00:19:37.352>if <00:19:37.669>you <00:19:37.986>say <00:19:38.303>no,

388
00:19:38.705 --> 00:19:40.485
<00:19:38.705>that's <00:19:38.938>also <00:19:39.171>a <00:19:39.405>new <00:19:39.638>feature <00:19:39.871>you're <00:19:40.105>creating.

389
00:19:43.525 --> 00:19:45.905
<00:19:43.525>And <00:19:43.665>and <00:19:43.805>if <00:19:43.945>it, <00:19:44.085>if <00:19:44.225>you <00:19:44.365>zoom <00:19:44.505>out <00:19:44.645>a <00:19:44.785>little <00:19:44.925>bit,

390
00:19:47.405 --> 00:19:48.745
<00:19:47.405>how <00:19:47.807>are <00:19:48.208>teams <00:19:48.610>created?

391
00:19:49.705 --> 00:19:54.005
<00:19:49.705>How <00:19:49.879>are <00:19:50.054>companies <00:19:50.230>created <00:19:50.405>even <00:19:50.580>how <00:19:50.754>are <00:19:50.929>countries <00:19:51.105>created,

392
00:19:55.605 --> 00:19:59.735
<00:19:55.605>even <00:19:55.805>acts <00:19:56.005>of <00:19:56.205>creation <00:19:56.405>of <00:19:56.605>teams, <00:19:56.805>of <00:19:57.005>countries

393
00:20:00.075 --> 00:20:01.695
<00:20:00.075>and <00:20:00.425>companies <00:20:00.775>happen <00:20:01.125>in <00:20:01.475>language.

394
00:20:02.505 --> 00:20:05.925
<00:20:02.505>So <00:20:02.855>somebody <00:20:03.205>declares <00:20:03.555>that, <00:20:03.905>like,

395
00:20:05.925 --> 00:20:08.405
<00:20:05.925>like <00:20:06.125>the <00:20:06.325>US <00:20:06.524>had <00:20:06.725>a <00:20:06.925>declaration <00:20:07.125>of <00:20:07.325>independence.

396
00:20:08.945 --> 00:20:13.445
<00:20:08.945>So <00:20:09.085>somebody <00:20:09.225>declared <00:20:09.365>that <00:20:09.504>there <00:20:09.645>will <00:20:09.784>be <00:20:09.925>a <00:20:10.064>union <00:20:10.205>of <00:20:10.345>states,

397
00:20:13.585 --> 00:20:16.285
<00:20:13.585>and <00:20:13.818>that's <00:20:14.051>what <00:20:14.285>creates <00:20:14.518>a <00:20:14.751>company <00:20:14.985>country.

398
00:20:16.795 --> 00:20:20.165
<00:20:16.795>Similarly, <00:20:17.075>a <00:20:17.355>company <00:20:17.635>is <00:20:17.915>also <00:20:18.195>declared,

399
00:20:20.865 --> 00:20:22.885
<00:20:20.865>and <00:20:21.005>you <00:20:21.145>can, <00:20:21.285>you <00:20:21.425>can <00:20:21.565>find <00:20:21.705>this <00:20:21.845>in <00:20:21.985>the <00:20:22.125>legal <00:20:22.265>documents,

400
00:20:23.225 --> 00:20:27.405
<00:20:23.225>but <00:20:23.365>a <00:20:23.504>company <00:20:23.645>starts <00:20:23.784>to <00:20:23.925>exist <00:20:24.064>when <00:20:24.205>it <00:20:24.344>is <00:20:24.485>declared <00:20:24.625>legally.

401
00:20:28.285 --> 00:20:31.335
<00:20:28.285>Similarly, <00:20:28.518>a <00:20:28.751>team <00:20:28.985>is <00:20:29.218>also <00:20:29.451>created, <00:20:29.685>first

402
00:20:31.355 --> 00:20:32.775
<00:20:31.355>of <00:20:31.674>all, <00:20:31.994>in <00:20:32.313>in <00:20:32.633>language.

403
00:20:34.065 --> 00:20:37.275
<00:20:34.065>Another <00:20:34.345>very <00:20:34.625>relevant <00:20:34.905>example <00:20:35.185>is <00:20:35.465>marriage.

404
00:20:38.415 --> 00:20:42.195
<00:20:38.415>How <00:20:38.555>do <00:20:38.695>two <00:20:38.835>people <00:20:38.975>go <00:20:39.115>from <00:20:39.254>being <00:20:39.395>just <00:20:39.534>to <00:20:39.675>human <00:20:39.815>beings,

405
00:20:42.615 --> 00:20:46.155
<00:20:42.615>to <00:20:42.815>being <00:20:43.015>husband <00:20:43.215>and <00:20:43.415>wife, <00:20:43.615>to <00:20:43.815>being <00:20:44.015>partners?

406
00:20:46.575 --> 00:20:50.805
<00:20:46.575>It <00:20:46.775>is <00:20:46.975>when <00:20:47.175>somebody <00:20:47.375>in <00:20:47.575>authority <00:20:47.775>uses <00:20:47.975>language

407
00:20:51.025 --> 00:20:53.285
<00:20:51.025>and <00:20:51.258>declares <00:20:51.491>whether <00:20:51.725>it <00:20:51.958>is <00:20:52.191>a <00:20:52.425>priest,

408
00:20:53.285 --> 00:20:55.525
<00:20:53.285>whether <00:20:53.425>it <00:20:53.565>is <00:20:53.705>a <00:20:53.845>court <00:20:53.985>order, <00:20:54.125>whether <00:20:54.265>it, <00:20:54.405>it <00:20:54.545>is <00:20:54.685>a,

409
00:20:55.525 --> 00:20:57.045
<00:20:55.525>it <00:20:55.867>is <00:20:56.209>a <00:20:56.551>municipality <00:20:56.893>declaration,

410
00:20:57.465 --> 00:21:00.405
<00:20:57.465>but <00:20:57.665>somebody <00:20:57.865>says <00:20:58.064>that <00:20:58.264>you <00:20:58.465>are <00:20:58.665>married <00:20:58.865>now

411
00:21:00.405 --> 00:21:01.645
<00:21:00.405>and <00:21:00.628>that's <00:21:00.851>when <00:21:01.074>you <00:21:01.297>become <00:21:01.521>married.

412
00:21:03.775 --> 00:21:06.045
<00:21:03.775>So <00:21:04.055>That's <00:21:04.335>the <00:21:04.615>power <00:21:04.895>of <00:21:05.175>language,

413
00:21:06.045 --> 00:21:07.845
<00:21:06.045>which <00:21:06.325>I <00:21:06.605>want <00:21:06.885>you <00:21:07.165>to <00:21:07.445>realize.

414
00:21:10.865 --> 00:21:13.205
<00:21:10.865>And <00:21:11.005>now <00:21:11.145>I <00:21:11.285>want <00:21:11.425>to, <00:21:11.565>I <00:21:11.705>want <00:21:11.845>to <00:21:11.985>ask <00:21:12.125>a <00:21:12.265>question.

415
00:21:14.155 --> 00:21:15.775
<00:21:14.155>If <00:21:14.388>you <00:21:14.621>want <00:21:14.855>something <00:21:15.088>in <00:21:15.321>the <00:21:15.555>future,

416
00:21:16.355 --> 00:21:18.695
<00:21:16.355>if <00:21:16.510>you <00:21:16.666>want <00:21:16.821>a <00:21:16.977>produce <00:21:17.132>a <00:21:17.288>result <00:21:17.443>in <00:21:17.599>the <00:21:17.755>future,

417
00:21:19.525 --> 00:21:21.465
<00:21:19.525>and <00:21:19.680>that <00:21:19.836>could <00:21:19.991>be <00:21:20.147>a <00:21:20.302>promotion, <00:21:20.458>that <00:21:20.613>could <00:21:20.769>be <00:21:20.925>a,

418
00:21:22.425 --> 00:21:24.465
<00:21:22.425>a <00:21:22.580>hike <00:21:22.736>in <00:21:22.891>salary, <00:21:23.047>that <00:21:23.202>could <00:21:23.358>be <00:21:23.513>a <00:21:23.669>different <00:21:23.825>role.

419
00:21:25.845 --> 00:21:29.305
<00:21:25.845>Ask <00:21:26.045>yourself <00:21:26.245>this <00:21:26.445>question, <00:21:26.645>what <00:21:26.845>is <00:21:27.045>the <00:21:27.245>request

420
00:21:29.605 --> 00:21:31.185
<00:21:29.605>or <00:21:29.885>offer <00:21:30.165>which <00:21:30.445>you're <00:21:30.725>not <00:21:31.005>making?

421
00:21:31.445 --> 00:21:33.865
<00:21:31.445>So <00:21:31.725>what, <00:21:32.004>what <00:21:32.284>are <00:21:32.564>the <00:21:32.845>requests

422
00:21:33.865 --> 00:21:37.185
<00:21:33.865>and <00:21:34.020>offers <00:21:34.176>that <00:21:34.331>you <00:21:34.487>can <00:21:34.642>make <00:21:34.798>which <00:21:34.953>can <00:21:35.109>help <00:21:35.265>you

423
00:21:37.615 --> 00:21:38.665
<00:21:37.615>move <00:21:37.930>towards <00:21:38.245>the <00:21:38.560>future?

424
00:21:41.105 --> 00:21:44.365
<00:21:41.105>And <00:21:41.245>if <00:21:41.385>you <00:21:41.525>have <00:21:41.665>a <00:21:41.805>future <00:21:41.945>which <00:21:42.085>you <00:21:42.225>want <00:21:42.365>to <00:21:42.505>create,

425
00:21:44.945 --> 00:21:47.405
<00:21:44.945>if <00:21:45.061>there <00:21:45.178>is <00:21:45.294>a <00:21:45.411>result <00:21:45.528>which <00:21:45.645>you <00:21:45.761>want <00:21:45.878>to <00:21:45.995>see <00:21:46.111>in <00:21:46.228>your <00:21:46.345>future,

426
00:21:47.505 --> 00:21:50.165
<00:21:47.505>and <00:21:47.705>it <00:21:47.905>is <00:21:48.105>not <00:21:48.305>there <00:21:48.505>yet, <00:21:48.705>ask <00:21:48.905>yourself,

427
00:21:50.275 --> 00:21:52.805
<00:21:50.275>what <00:21:50.450>is <00:21:50.625>the <00:21:50.800>missing <00:21:50.975>conversation <00:21:51.150>that <00:21:51.325>I'm <00:21:51.500>not <00:21:51.675>having?

428
00:21:53.795 --> 00:21:56.735
<00:21:53.795>And <00:21:53.950>what <00:21:54.106>is <00:21:54.261>the <00:21:54.417>next <00:21:54.572>conversation <00:21:54.728>that <00:21:54.883>I <00:21:55.039>can <00:21:55.195>have

429
00:21:56.735 --> 00:21:57.975
<00:21:56.735>to <00:21:57.014>move <00:21:57.293>towards <00:21:57.572>that <00:21:57.851>future?

430
00:21:59.045 --> 00:22:02.145
<00:21:59.045>For <00:21:59.185>example, <00:21:59.325>if <00:21:59.465>I <00:21:59.605>want <00:21:59.745>to <00:21:59.885>get <00:22:00.025>promoted, <00:22:00.165>if <00:22:00.305>I <00:22:00.445>want

431
00:22:02.145 --> 00:22:06.665
<00:22:02.145>to <00:22:02.285>become <00:22:02.425>a <00:22:02.565>senior <00:22:02.705>engineer, <00:22:02.845>one <00:22:02.985>request <00:22:03.125>I <00:22:03.264>I <00:22:03.405>can <00:22:03.545>have

432
00:22:07.245 --> 00:22:09.305
<00:22:07.245>is <00:22:07.445>to <00:22:07.645>ask <00:22:07.844>for <00:22:08.044>people <00:22:08.245>to <00:22:08.445>mentor <00:22:08.645>me.

433
00:22:10.345 --> 00:22:12.245
<00:22:10.345>So <00:22:10.520>I <00:22:10.695>make <00:22:10.870>a <00:22:11.045>request. <00:22:11.220>Can <00:22:11.395>you <00:22:11.570>mentor <00:22:11.745>me?

434
00:22:12.555 --> 00:22:14.605
<00:22:12.555>This <00:22:12.710>is, <00:22:12.866>these <00:22:13.021>are <00:22:13.177>my <00:22:13.332>goals. <00:22:13.488>Can <00:22:13.643>you <00:22:13.799>mentor <00:22:13.955>me?

435
00:22:16.245 --> 00:22:18.185
<00:22:16.245>As <00:22:16.478>soon <00:22:16.711>as <00:22:16.945>the <00:22:17.178>person <00:22:17.411>says <00:22:17.645>yes,

436
00:22:19.195 --> 00:22:20.845
<00:22:19.195>that <00:22:19.475>yes <00:22:19.754>creates <00:22:20.034>a <00:22:20.314>new <00:22:20.595>future.

437
00:22:20.865 --> 00:22:22.685
<00:22:20.865>So <00:22:21.065>now <00:22:21.265>you <00:22:21.465>are <00:22:21.665>in <00:22:21.865>a <00:22:22.065>mentoring <00:22:22.265>relationship.

438
00:22:25.675 --> 00:22:27.465
<00:22:25.675>Going <00:22:25.908>out <00:22:26.141>and <00:22:26.375>talking <00:22:26.608>to <00:22:26.841>your <00:22:27.075>manager

439
00:22:28.705 --> 00:22:31.495
<00:22:28.705>about <00:22:28.879>your <00:22:29.054>future <00:22:29.230>dreams <00:22:29.405>is <00:22:29.580>again, <00:22:29.754>one <00:22:29.929>such <00:22:30.105>conversation.

440
00:22:32.555 --> 00:22:35.655
<00:22:32.555>So <00:22:32.695>every <00:22:32.835>time <00:22:32.975>you <00:22:33.115>have <00:22:33.255>a <00:22:33.395>future <00:22:33.535>result, <00:22:33.675>which <00:22:33.815>you <00:22:33.955>want

441
00:22:35.675 --> 00:22:38.415
<00:22:35.675>or <00:22:35.850>which <00:22:36.024>you <00:22:36.200>want <00:22:36.375>to <00:22:36.550>move <00:22:36.725>toward, <00:22:36.899>ask <00:22:37.075>yourself,

442
00:22:38.645 --> 00:22:40.615
<00:22:38.645>what <00:22:38.878>is <00:22:39.111>the <00:22:39.345>conversation <00:22:39.578>that <00:22:39.811>is <00:22:40.045>missing?

443
00:22:40.965 --> 00:22:43.935
<00:22:40.965>What <00:22:41.120>is <00:22:41.276>the <00:22:41.431>specific <00:22:41.587>request <00:22:41.742>which <00:22:41.898>I <00:22:42.053>can <00:22:42.209>ask <00:22:42.365>somebody

444
00:22:43.935 --> 00:22:45.695
<00:22:43.935>else <00:22:44.635>to <00:22:45.335>do?

445
00:22:45.715 --> 00:22:48.255
<00:22:45.715>Or <00:22:45.842>what <00:22:45.969>is <00:22:46.096>the <00:22:46.224>offer <00:22:46.351>that <00:22:46.478>I <00:22:46.605>can <00:22:46.733>make <00:22:46.860>like <00:22:46.987>I <00:22:47.115>offer

446
00:22:48.275 --> 00:22:49.575
<00:22:48.275>to <00:22:48.665>lead <00:22:49.055>this <00:22:49.445>presentation?

447
00:22:50.255 --> 00:22:54.095
<00:22:50.255>I <00:22:50.382>offer <00:22:50.509>to <00:22:50.636>lead <00:22:50.764>this <00:22:50.891>offsite. <00:22:51.018>I <00:22:51.145>offer <00:22:51.273>to <00:22:51.400>lead <00:22:51.527>this <00:22:51.655>meeting.

448
00:22:55.065 --> 00:22:57.375
<00:22:55.065>These <00:22:55.298>are <00:22:55.531>offers <00:22:55.765>which <00:22:55.998>you <00:22:56.231>can <00:22:56.465>make,

449
00:22:57.425 --> 00:23:00.135
<00:22:57.425>which <00:22:57.580>when <00:22:57.736>it <00:22:57.891>they <00:22:58.047>get <00:22:58.202>accepted, <00:22:58.358>when <00:22:58.513>they <00:22:58.669>are <00:22:58.825>met

450
00:23:00.135 --> 00:23:03.895
<00:23:00.135>with <00:23:00.310>a <00:23:00.485>yes, <00:23:00.660>that's <00:23:00.835>what <00:23:01.010>creates <00:23:01.185>a <00:23:01.360>new <00:23:01.535>future.

451
00:23:10.595 --> 00:23:13.515
<00:23:10.595>I <00:23:10.770>want <00:23:10.945>to <00:23:11.120>share <00:23:11.295>something <00:23:11.470>which <00:23:11.645>neuroscience <00:23:11.820>is <00:23:11.995>discovering

452
00:23:13.575 --> 00:23:17.995
<00:23:13.575>now, <00:23:13.715>and <00:23:13.855>this <00:23:13.995>is <00:23:14.135>a <00:23:14.275>quote <00:23:14.415>by <00:23:14.555>neuroscientist <00:23:14.695>called <00:23:14.835>Anil <00:23:14.975>Said,

453
00:23:18.535 --> 00:23:22.805
<00:23:18.535>and <00:23:18.675>he <00:23:18.815>says <00:23:18.955>that <00:23:19.095>we <00:23:19.235>are <00:23:19.375>all <00:23:19.515>hallucinating <00:23:19.655>all <00:23:19.795>the <00:23:19.935>time.

454
00:23:26.135 --> 00:23:29.075
<00:23:26.135>And <00:23:26.290>what <00:23:26.446>he <00:23:26.601>means <00:23:26.757>by <00:23:26.912>this <00:23:27.068>is <00:23:27.223>that <00:23:27.379>each <00:23:27.535>one

455
00:23:29.075 --> 00:23:31.595
<00:23:29.075>of <00:23:29.308>us <00:23:29.541>is <00:23:29.775>creating <00:23:30.008>a <00:23:30.241>different <00:23:30.475>world

456
00:23:32.255 --> 00:23:33.795
<00:23:32.255>in <00:23:32.717>our <00:23:33.179>different <00:23:33.641>listenings.

457
00:23:34.455 --> 00:23:36.435
<00:23:34.455>So <00:23:34.629>each <00:23:34.804>one <00:23:34.980>of <00:23:35.155>us <00:23:35.330>has <00:23:35.504>a <00:23:35.679>unique <00:23:35.855>listening,

458
00:23:37.095 --> 00:23:40.915
<00:23:37.095>and <00:23:37.222>each <00:23:37.349>one <00:23:37.476>of <00:23:37.604>us <00:23:37.731>is <00:23:37.858>creating <00:23:37.985>a <00:23:38.113>different <00:23:38.240>world <00:23:38.367>based <00:23:38.495>on

459
00:23:40.915 --> 00:23:43.155
<00:23:40.915>what <00:23:41.090>we <00:23:41.264>see, <00:23:41.440>what <00:23:41.615>we <00:23:41.790>hear, <00:23:41.965>what <00:23:42.139>we <00:23:42.315>touch,

460
00:23:43.815 --> 00:23:45.520
<00:23:43.815>and <00:23:44.048>what <00:23:44.281>we <00:23:44.515>experience <00:23:44.748>in <00:23:44.981>the <00:23:45.215>world.

461
00:23:47.395 --> 00:23:50.375
<00:23:47.395>And <00:23:47.550>there's <00:23:47.706>also <00:23:47.861>a <00:23:48.017>famous <00:23:48.172>quote <00:23:48.328>which <00:23:48.483>comes <00:23:48.639>to <00:23:48.795>mind

462
00:23:50.795 --> 00:23:53.615
<00:23:50.795>as <00:23:50.995>I <00:23:51.195>talk <00:23:51.395>about <00:23:51.595>this, <00:23:51.795>which, <00:23:51.995>which <00:23:52.195>says

463
00:23:53.615 --> 00:23:57.495
<00:23:53.615>that <00:23:53.722>we <00:23:53.830>see <00:23:53.938>the <00:23:54.045>world <00:23:54.153>as <00:23:54.261>we <00:23:54.368>are <00:23:54.476>not <00:23:54.584>the <00:23:54.691>way <00:23:54.799>the <00:23:54.907>world <00:23:55.015>is.

464
00:24:00.475 --> 00:24:05.085
<00:24:00.475>To <00:24:00.630>give <00:24:00.786>you <00:24:00.941>a <00:24:01.097>example, <00:24:01.252>let's <00:24:01.408>see <00:24:01.563>this <00:24:01.719>image, <00:24:01.875>MH

465
00:24:06.665 --> 00:24:09.735
<00:24:06.665>there <00:24:06.792>are <00:24:06.919>two <00:24:07.046>scars <00:24:07.174>here <00:24:07.301>on <00:24:07.428>which <00:24:07.555>A <00:24:07.683>and <00:24:07.810>B <00:24:07.937>are <00:24:08.065>written.

466
00:24:10.715 --> 00:24:13.095
<00:24:10.715>And <00:24:10.870>if <00:24:11.026>you <00:24:11.181>see <00:24:11.337>the <00:24:11.492>color <00:24:11.648>of <00:24:11.803>these <00:24:11.959>two <00:24:12.115>scares,

467
00:24:13.985 --> 00:24:17.255
<00:24:13.985>these <00:24:14.264>two <00:24:14.544>scares, <00:24:14.824>you <00:24:15.104>will <00:24:15.385>see

468
00:24:17.255 --> 00:24:18.895
<00:24:17.255>that <00:24:17.605>the <00:24:17.955>colors <00:24:18.305>are <00:24:18.655>different.

469
00:24:19.035 --> 00:24:22.425
<00:24:19.035>That's <00:24:19.268>how <00:24:19.501>you <00:24:19.735>will <00:24:19.968>listen <00:24:20.201>to <00:24:20.435>it.

470
00:24:24.865 --> 00:24:26.525
<00:24:24.865>But <00:24:25.215>let <00:24:25.565>me <00:24:25.915>present <00:24:26.265>something.

471
00:24:26.785 --> 00:24:30.245
<00:24:26.785>So <00:24:26.960>these <00:24:27.135>two <00:24:27.310>are <00:24:27.485>actually <00:24:27.660>the <00:24:27.835>very <00:24:28.010>same <00:24:28.185>colors.

472
00:24:30.865 --> 00:24:33.165
<00:24:30.865>So <00:24:31.065>the <00:24:31.265>reality <00:24:31.465>which <00:24:31.665>our <00:24:31.865>mind <00:24:32.065>is <00:24:32.265>creating,

473
00:24:34.495 --> 00:24:38.585
<00:24:34.495>that <00:24:34.650>these <00:24:34.806>two <00:24:34.961>are <00:24:35.117>separate <00:24:35.272>colors, <00:24:35.428>is <00:24:35.583>just <00:24:35.739>an <00:24:35.895>illusion.

474
00:24:39.835 --> 00:24:43.345
<00:24:39.835>While <00:24:39.990>if <00:24:40.146>you <00:24:40.301>draw <00:24:40.457>these <00:24:40.612>vertical <00:24:40.768>lines, <00:24:40.923>you <00:24:41.079>can <00:24:41.235>see

475
00:24:43.615 --> 00:24:47.145
<00:24:43.615>that <00:24:43.815>these <00:24:44.015>two <00:24:44.215>colors <00:24:44.415>are <00:24:44.615>the <00:24:44.815>same <00:24:45.015>colors.

476
00:24:47.405 --> 00:24:48.545
<00:24:47.405>And <00:24:47.747>even <00:24:48.089>now, <00:24:48.431>even

477
00:24:48.545 --> 00:24:51.505
<00:24:48.545>after <00:24:48.700>knowing <00:24:48.856>that <00:24:49.011>when <00:24:49.167>you <00:24:49.322>look <00:24:49.478>at <00:24:49.633>the <00:24:49.789>first <00:24:49.945>image,

478
00:24:52.045 --> 00:24:54.145
<00:24:52.045>it <00:24:52.278>is <00:24:52.511>still <00:24:52.745>difficult <00:24:52.978>to <00:24:53.211>distinguish <00:24:53.445>that

479
00:24:54.295 --> 00:24:56.625
<00:24:54.295>because <00:24:54.761>that's <00:24:55.228>a <00:24:55.695>hallucination

480
00:24:56.765 --> 00:25:00.465
<00:24:56.765>or <00:24:56.920>a <00:24:57.076>version <00:24:57.231>of <00:24:57.387>reality <00:24:57.542>that <00:24:57.698>our <00:24:57.853>mind <00:24:58.009>has <00:24:58.165>created.

481
00:25:04.205 --> 00:25:06.745
<00:25:04.205>So <00:25:04.360>the <00:25:04.516>the <00:25:04.671>key <00:25:04.827>message <00:25:04.982>here <00:25:05.138>is <00:25:05.293>that <00:25:05.449>we <00:25:05.605>all,

482
00:25:06.885 --> 00:25:11.455
<00:25:06.885>we <00:25:07.012>are <00:25:07.139>all <00:25:07.266>confusing <00:25:07.394>what <00:25:07.521>we <00:25:07.648>see <00:25:07.775>or <00:25:07.903>hear <00:25:08.030>as <00:25:08.157>a <00:25:08.285>reality.

483
00:25:14.065 --> 00:25:18.285
<00:25:14.065>For <00:25:14.240>example, <00:25:14.415>let's <00:25:14.590>say <00:25:14.765>a <00:25:14.940>manager <00:25:15.115>shouts <00:25:15.290>as <00:25:15.465>a,

484
00:25:18.285 --> 00:25:23.225
<00:25:18.285>at <00:25:18.440>an <00:25:18.596>employee, <00:25:18.751>one <00:25:18.907>person <00:25:19.062>creates <00:25:19.218>a <00:25:19.373>manager <00:25:19.529>as <00:25:19.685>rude

485
00:25:25.685 --> 00:25:26.945
<00:25:25.685>in, <00:25:25.968>in <00:25:26.252>their <00:25:26.535>own <00:25:26.819>listening

486
00:25:26.945 --> 00:25:29.345
<00:25:26.945>because <00:25:27.145>of <00:25:27.345>their <00:25:27.544>experiences <00:25:27.745>or <00:25:27.945>because <00:25:28.145>of <00:25:28.345>whatever.

487
00:25:30.245 --> 00:25:35.025
<00:25:30.245>And <00:25:30.419>the <00:25:30.594>other <00:25:30.770>person <00:25:30.945>might <00:25:31.120>create <00:25:31.294>that <00:25:31.469>same <00:25:31.645>manager

488
00:25:35.285 --> 00:25:38.265
<00:25:35.285>as <00:25:35.518>ambitious <00:25:35.751>or <00:25:35.985>as <00:25:36.218>holding <00:25:36.451>somebody <00:25:36.685>accountable.

489
00:25:39.505 --> 00:25:43.965
<00:25:39.505>To <00:25:39.645>give <00:25:39.785>you <00:25:39.925>a <00:25:40.065>very <00:25:40.205>personal <00:25:40.345>example, <00:25:40.485>when <00:25:40.625>I <00:25:40.765>first <00:25:40.905>came

490
00:25:43.985 --> 00:25:47.645
<00:25:43.985>to <00:25:44.125>Europe, <00:25:44.264>I <00:25:44.405>came <00:25:44.544>from <00:25:44.685>India, <00:25:44.824>which <00:25:44.965>is <00:25:45.104>a <00:25:45.245>very <00:25:45.385>hierarchical

491
00:25:47.705 --> 00:25:48.725
<00:25:47.705>and <00:25:48.011>a <00:25:48.317>top-down <00:25:48.622>culture.

492
00:25:50.615 --> 00:25:53.755
<00:25:50.615>And <00:25:50.755>one <00:25:50.895>thing <00:25:51.035>I <00:25:51.175>realized <00:25:51.315>is <00:25:51.455>that <00:25:51.595>if <00:25:51.735>a <00:25:51.875>manager <00:25:52.015>is,

493
00:25:54.375 --> 00:25:56.955
<00:25:54.375>is <00:25:54.608>very <00:25:54.841>out <00:25:55.075>there, <00:25:55.308>is <00:25:55.541>very <00:25:55.775>energetic,

494
00:25:57.055 --> 00:26:01.915
<00:25:57.055>is <00:25:57.210>very <00:25:57.366>directing <00:25:57.521>his <00:25:57.677>team, <00:25:57.832>giving <00:25:57.988>new <00:25:58.143>ideas <00:25:58.299>in <00:25:58.455>India

495
00:26:02.185 --> 00:26:05.555
<00:26:02.185>that <00:26:02.340>would <00:26:02.496>be <00:26:02.651>seen <00:26:02.807>as <00:26:02.962>a <00:26:03.118>strong <00:26:03.273>manager, <00:26:03.429>as <00:26:03.585>somebody

496
00:26:05.575 --> 00:26:08.755
<00:26:05.575>who <00:26:05.750>holds <00:26:05.925>others <00:26:06.100>accountable, <00:26:06.275>who <00:26:06.450>demands <00:26:06.625>from <00:26:06.800>other <00:26:06.975>people.

497
00:26:09.695 --> 00:26:11.315
<00:26:09.695>But <00:26:09.870>if <00:26:10.044>you <00:26:10.220>do <00:26:10.395>the <00:26:10.570>same <00:26:10.745>thing <00:26:10.919>in <00:26:11.095>Europe,

498
00:26:11.685 --> 00:26:15.035
<00:26:11.685>which <00:26:11.840>is <00:26:11.996>a <00:26:12.151>very <00:26:12.307>different <00:26:12.462>culture, <00:26:12.618>you <00:26:12.773>might <00:26:12.929>be <00:26:13.085>seen

499
00:26:15.035 --> 00:26:17.795
<00:26:15.035>as <00:26:15.210>micromanaging <00:26:15.385>or <00:26:15.560>you <00:26:15.735>might <00:26:15.910>be <00:26:16.085>seen <00:26:16.260>as <00:26:16.435>dominating.

500
00:26:19.285 --> 00:26:21.545
<00:26:19.285>So <00:26:19.518>the <00:26:19.751>difference <00:26:19.985>here <00:26:20.218>is <00:26:20.451>in <00:26:20.685>the

501
00:26:21.545 --> 00:26:22.665
<00:26:21.545>listening <00:26:21.797>of <00:26:22.049>the <00:26:22.301>two <00:26:22.553>people.

502
00:26:23.085 --> 00:26:27.045
<00:26:23.085>And <00:26:23.225>if <00:26:23.365>you <00:26:23.505>are <00:26:23.645>not <00:26:23.785>mindful <00:26:23.925>of <00:26:24.065>that, <00:26:24.205>that <00:26:24.345>can <00:26:24.485>lead

503
00:26:27.045 --> 00:26:31.065
<00:26:27.045>to <00:26:27.220>blindness, <00:26:27.395>which <00:26:27.570>you <00:26:27.745>might <00:26:27.920>not <00:26:28.095>be <00:26:28.270>aware <00:26:28.445>of.

504
00:26:31.165 --> 00:26:33.225
<00:26:31.165>So <00:26:31.445>that's <00:26:31.725>the <00:26:32.004>crux <00:26:32.284>of <00:26:32.565>it.

505
00:26:34.365 --> 00:26:38.175
<00:26:34.365>Now, <00:26:34.540>this <00:26:34.715>is <00:26:34.890>something <00:26:35.065>which <00:26:35.240>I <00:26:35.415>found <00:26:35.590>very <00:26:35.765>funny

506
00:26:38.745 --> 00:26:41.055
<00:26:38.745>about <00:26:38.945>human <00:26:39.145>beings, <00:26:39.344>and <00:26:39.544>we <00:26:39.745>all <00:26:39.945>do <00:26:40.145>this.

507
00:26:41.875 --> 00:26:43.605
<00:26:41.875>So <00:26:42.225>let <00:26:42.575>me <00:26:42.925>share <00:26:43.275>this.

508
00:26:44.525 --> 00:26:47.385
<00:26:44.525>So <00:26:44.700>something <00:26:44.875>happens, <00:26:45.050>an <00:26:45.225>event <00:26:45.400>happens <00:26:45.575>in <00:26:45.750>the <00:26:45.925>world.

509
00:26:47.955 --> 00:26:51.185
<00:26:47.955>Let's <00:26:48.155>say <00:26:48.355>manager <00:26:48.554>shouts <00:26:48.754>or <00:26:48.955>manager <00:26:49.155>does <00:26:49.355>something

510
00:26:52.675 --> 00:26:54.255
<00:26:52.675>and <00:26:52.908>we <00:26:53.141>make <00:26:53.375>a <00:26:53.608>story <00:26:53.841>about <00:26:54.075>it.

511
00:26:54.355 --> 00:26:56.575
<00:26:54.355>The <00:26:54.555>story <00:26:54.755>might <00:26:54.955>be <00:26:55.155>the <00:26:55.355>manager <00:26:55.555>is <00:26:55.755>rude.

512
00:26:56.575 --> 00:26:58.255
<00:26:56.575>The <00:26:56.775>story <00:26:56.975>might <00:26:57.175>be <00:26:57.375>the <00:26:57.575>manager <00:26:57.775>is <00:26:57.975>wonderful

513
00:26:58.255 --> 00:26:59.655
<00:26:58.255>because <00:26:58.570>he's <00:26:58.885>holding <00:26:59.200>people <00:26:59.514>accountable.

514
00:27:00.275 --> 00:27:02.015
<00:27:00.275>The <00:27:00.475>story <00:27:00.675>might <00:27:00.875>be <00:27:01.075>that <00:27:01.275>I <00:27:01.475>don't <00:27:01.675>like

515
00:27:02.015 --> 00:27:03.335
<00:27:02.015>this <00:27:02.312>or <00:27:02.609>something <00:27:02.906>like <00:27:03.203>that.

516
00:27:06.465 --> 00:27:08.925
<00:27:06.465>And <00:27:06.605>the <00:27:06.745>next <00:27:06.885>thing <00:27:07.024>which <00:27:07.165>we <00:27:07.304>do <00:27:07.445>as <00:27:07.584>human <00:27:07.725>beings <00:27:07.865>is

517
00:27:08.925 --> 00:27:11.975
<00:27:08.925>that <00:27:09.100>we <00:27:09.274>believe <00:27:09.450>the <00:27:09.625>story <00:27:09.800>to <00:27:09.975>be <00:27:10.149>true, <00:27:10.325>right?

518
00:27:11.975 --> 00:27:14.015
<00:27:11.975>Because <00:27:12.149>we <00:27:12.324>are, <00:27:12.500>we <00:27:12.675>are <00:27:12.850>talking <00:27:13.024>about <00:27:13.199>this <00:27:13.375>only

519
00:27:14.015 --> 00:27:18.855
<00:27:14.015>because <00:27:14.170>we <00:27:14.326>take <00:27:14.481>action <00:27:14.637>based <00:27:14.792>on <00:27:14.948>not <00:27:15.103>what <00:27:15.259>is <00:27:15.415>happening

520
00:27:18.855 --> 00:27:21.295
<00:27:18.855>outside <00:27:18.995>in <00:27:19.135>the <00:27:19.275>world, <00:27:19.415>but <00:27:19.555>how <00:27:19.695>we <00:27:19.835>are <00:27:19.975>listening <00:27:20.115>to <00:27:20.255>it.

521
00:27:22.615 --> 00:27:24.595
<00:27:22.615>And <00:27:22.815>we <00:27:23.015>believe <00:27:23.215>the <00:27:23.415>story <00:27:23.615>to <00:27:23.815>be <00:27:24.015>true,

522
00:27:25.545 --> 00:27:27.565
<00:27:25.545>and <00:27:25.720>then <00:27:25.895>we <00:27:26.070>forget <00:27:26.245>that <00:27:26.420>we <00:27:26.595>made <00:27:26.770>it <00:27:26.945>up.

523
00:27:30.815 --> 00:27:33.355
<00:27:30.815>So <00:27:30.942>this <00:27:31.069>is <00:27:31.196>the <00:27:31.324>four <00:27:31.451>simple <00:27:31.578>points, <00:27:31.705>but <00:27:31.833>this <00:27:31.960>is <00:27:32.087>not <00:27:32.215>trivial.

524
00:27:33.355 --> 00:27:35.315
<00:27:33.355>This <00:27:33.530>is <00:27:33.705>very <00:27:33.880>simple, <00:27:34.055>but <00:27:34.230>this <00:27:34.405>is <00:27:34.580>not <00:27:34.755>trivial.

525
00:27:35.625 --> 00:27:36.675
<00:27:35.625>This <00:27:35.940>is <00:27:36.254>very <00:27:36.570>critical.

526
00:27:36.675 --> 00:27:39.035
<00:27:36.675>So <00:27:36.875>something <00:27:37.075>happens, <00:27:37.274>we <00:27:37.475>make <00:27:37.675>story <00:27:37.875>about <00:27:38.075>it,

527
00:27:39.335 --> 00:27:40.875
<00:27:39.335>we <00:27:39.566>believe <00:27:39.797>the <00:27:40.028>story <00:27:40.259>to <00:27:40.490>be <00:27:40.721>true,

528
00:27:41.215 --> 00:27:42.995
<00:27:41.215>and <00:27:41.389>then <00:27:41.564>we <00:27:41.740>forget <00:27:41.915>that <00:27:42.090>we <00:27:42.264>made <00:27:42.439>it <00:27:42.615>up,

529
00:27:43.055 --> 00:27:45.475
<00:27:43.055>and <00:27:43.335>then <00:27:43.615>we <00:27:43.895>start <00:27:44.175>acting <00:27:44.455>from

530
00:27:45.705 --> 00:27:47.315
<00:27:45.705>believing <00:27:45.985>that <00:27:46.264>story <00:27:46.544>to <00:27:46.824>be <00:27:47.105>true.

531
00:27:48.785 --> 00:27:50.885
<00:27:48.785>So, <00:27:48.940>and <00:27:49.096>and <00:27:49.251>you <00:27:49.407>can <00:27:49.562>see <00:27:49.718>this <00:27:49.873>all <00:27:50.029>the <00:27:50.185>time,

532
00:27:51.065 --> 00:27:53.965
<00:27:51.065>you <00:27:51.220>can <00:27:51.376>see <00:27:51.531>this <00:27:51.687>all <00:27:51.842>the <00:27:51.998>time, <00:27:52.153>uh, <00:27:52.309>to <00:27:52.465>share

533
00:27:54.675 --> 00:27:56.405
<00:27:54.675>very <00:27:54.908>personal <00:27:55.141>example, <00:27:55.375>which <00:27:55.608>I <00:27:55.841>shared <00:27:56.075>earlier.

534
00:27:56.715 --> 00:27:59.485
<00:27:56.715>When <00:27:56.870>I <00:27:57.026>first <00:27:57.181>started <00:27:57.337>public <00:27:57.492>speaking <00:27:57.648>in, <00:27:57.803>in <00:27:57.959>my <00:27:58.115>school,

535
00:27:59.565 --> 00:28:02.685
<00:27:59.565>I <00:27:59.720>think <00:27:59.876>I <00:28:00.031>was <00:28:00.187>a <00:28:00.342>teenager, <00:28:00.498>a <00:28:00.653>very <00:28:00.809>young <00:28:00.965>person.

536
00:28:02.885 --> 00:28:04.845
<00:28:02.885>I, <00:28:03.060>I, <00:28:03.235>I <00:28:03.410>still <00:28:03.585>remember <00:28:03.760>I <00:28:03.935>got <00:28:04.110>laughed <00:28:04.285>at.

537
00:28:05.185 --> 00:28:08.445
<00:28:05.185>People <00:28:05.385>laughed <00:28:05.585>because <00:28:05.784>whatever, <00:28:05.985>because <00:28:06.185>of <00:28:06.385>whatever <00:28:06.585>reason,

538
00:28:08.545 --> 00:28:10.445
<00:28:08.545>and <00:28:08.778>I <00:28:09.011>made <00:28:09.245>a <00:28:09.478>story, <00:28:09.711>I <00:28:09.945>interpreted

539
00:28:10.445 --> 00:28:12.605
<00:28:10.445>that <00:28:10.678>I <00:28:10.911>I <00:28:11.145>do <00:28:11.378>not <00:28:11.611>have <00:28:11.845>confidence,

540
00:28:13.985 --> 00:28:17.625
<00:28:13.985>I <00:28:14.112>do <00:28:14.239>not <00:28:14.366>have <00:28:14.494>confidence <00:28:14.621>in <00:28:14.748>to <00:28:14.875>talk <00:28:15.003>in <00:28:15.130>front <00:28:15.257>of <00:28:15.385>large,

541
00:28:17.675 --> 00:28:19.625
<00:28:17.675>large <00:28:17.908>groups <00:28:18.141>or <00:28:18.375>large <00:28:18.608>or <00:28:18.841>large <00:28:19.075>audience.

542
00:28:21.075 --> 00:28:24.735
<00:28:21.075>And <00:28:21.202>I <00:28:21.329>did <00:28:21.456>not <00:28:21.584>realize <00:28:21.711>that <00:28:21.838>this <00:28:21.965>is <00:28:22.093>a <00:28:22.220>story <00:28:22.347>I <00:28:22.475>created

543
00:28:25.315 --> 00:28:28.095
<00:28:25.315>rather <00:28:25.515>than <00:28:25.715>this <00:28:25.915>is <00:28:26.115>what <00:28:26.315>was <00:28:26.515>my <00:28:26.715>trait.

544
00:28:28.125 --> 00:28:31.655
<00:28:28.125>Like <00:28:28.300>confidence <00:28:28.475>is <00:28:28.650>not <00:28:28.825>something <00:28:29.000>which <00:28:29.175>you <00:28:29.350>can <00:28:29.525>measure,

545
00:28:31.725 --> 00:28:33.295
<00:28:31.725>like, <00:28:31.958>like <00:28:32.191>your <00:28:32.425>height <00:28:32.658>or <00:28:32.891>your <00:28:33.125>weight.

546
00:28:34.115 --> 00:28:37.895
<00:28:34.115>You <00:28:34.231>do <00:28:34.348>not <00:28:34.465>have <00:28:34.581>less <00:28:34.698>or <00:28:34.815>more <00:28:34.931>confidence <00:28:35.048>be <00:28:35.165>as, <00:28:35.281>as <00:28:35.398>an <00:28:35.515>entity,

547
00:28:37.895 --> 00:28:38.935
<00:28:37.895>as <00:28:38.206>a <00:28:38.519>measurable <00:28:38.831>entity.

548
00:28:39.605 --> 00:28:40.695
<00:28:39.605>It's <00:28:39.932>a <00:28:40.259>story. <00:28:40.586>And

549
00:28:40.695 --> 00:28:45.575
<00:28:40.695>because <00:28:40.850>of <00:28:41.006>the <00:28:41.161>story, <00:28:41.317>it <00:28:41.472>stopped <00:28:41.628>me <00:28:41.783>from <00:28:41.939>actually <00:28:42.095>speaking

550
00:28:46.115 --> 00:28:49.655
<00:28:46.115>in <00:28:46.242>events <00:28:46.369>like <00:28:46.496>this, <00:28:46.624>but <00:28:46.751>also <00:28:46.878>standing <00:28:47.005>up <00:28:47.133>to <00:28:47.260>my <00:28:47.387>team <00:28:47.515>in,

551
00:28:49.755 --> 00:28:53.415
<00:28:49.755>in <00:28:49.895>large <00:28:50.035>settings <00:28:50.175>and <00:28:50.315>present <00:28:50.455>my <00:28:50.595>ideas <00:28:50.735>and <00:28:50.875>it <00:28:51.015>stopped <00:28:51.155>me.

552
00:28:56.985 --> 00:29:00.605
<00:28:56.985>So, <00:28:57.185>so <00:28:57.385>coming <00:28:57.584>back <00:28:57.784>to <00:28:57.985>where <00:28:58.185>we <00:28:58.385>started,

553
00:29:02.805 --> 00:29:04.895
<00:29:02.805>Anil <00:29:03.038>said <00:29:03.271>the <00:29:03.505>neuroscientist, <00:29:03.738>which <00:29:03.971>I <00:29:04.205>mentioned.

554
00:29:05.595 --> 00:29:08.735
<00:29:05.595>He <00:29:05.750>says <00:29:05.906>that <00:29:06.061>we <00:29:06.217>are <00:29:06.372>all <00:29:06.528>hallucinating <00:29:06.683>all <00:29:06.839>the <00:29:06.995>time.

555
00:29:09.955 --> 00:29:12.815
<00:29:09.955>And <00:29:10.110>it <00:29:10.266>is <00:29:10.421>just <00:29:10.577>that <00:29:10.732>when <00:29:10.888>we <00:29:11.043>agree <00:29:11.199>about <00:29:11.355>our

556
00:29:12.815 --> 00:29:15.055
<00:29:12.815>hallucinations, <00:29:13.165>we <00:29:13.515>call <00:29:13.865>that <00:29:14.215>reality.

557
00:29:16.395 --> 00:29:17.655
<00:29:16.395>So <00:29:16.678>if, <00:29:16.962>if <00:29:17.245>a <00:29:17.529>lot

558
00:29:17.655 --> 00:29:22.175
<00:29:17.655>of <00:29:17.830>people <00:29:18.004>agree <00:29:18.180>about <00:29:18.355>a <00:29:18.530>particular <00:29:18.705>hallucination, <00:29:18.879>we <00:29:19.055>call

559
00:29:22.175 --> 00:29:26.215
<00:29:22.175>that <00:29:22.524>reality <00:29:22.875>in <00:29:23.225>a <00:29:23.575>way

560
00:29:26.215 --> 00:29:28.295
<00:29:26.215>to <00:29:26.564>distinguish <00:29:26.915>what <00:29:27.264>is <00:29:27.615>happening.

561
00:29:28.295 --> 00:29:31.255
<00:29:28.295>And <00:29:28.450>the <00:29:28.606>story <00:29:28.761>which <00:29:28.917>I'm <00:29:29.072>making <00:29:29.228>is <00:29:29.383>to <00:29:29.539>ask <00:29:29.695>yourself

562
00:29:31.805 --> 00:29:34.945
<00:29:31.805>what <00:29:32.155>would <00:29:32.505>a <00:29:32.855>camera <00:29:33.205>see?

563
00:29:35.245 --> 00:29:37.975
<00:29:35.245>And <00:29:35.419>what <00:29:35.594>would <00:29:35.770>a <00:29:35.945>microphone <00:29:36.120>hear <00:29:36.294>if <00:29:36.469>I <00:29:36.645>were

564
00:29:37.975 --> 00:29:40.295
<00:29:37.975>to <00:29:38.208>put <00:29:38.441>a <00:29:38.675>microphone <00:29:38.908>and <00:29:39.141>a <00:29:39.375>camera?

565
00:29:41.455 --> 00:29:43.045
<00:29:41.455>Everything <00:29:41.921>which <00:29:42.388>the <00:29:42.855>microphone

566
00:29:43.045 --> 00:29:45.845
<00:29:43.045>and <00:29:43.161>the <00:29:43.278>camera <00:29:43.395>would <00:29:43.511>pick <00:29:43.628>up <00:29:43.745>is <00:29:43.861>a <00:29:43.978>fact <00:29:44.095>is <00:29:44.211>a <00:29:44.328>is <00:29:44.445>something

567
00:29:45.845 --> 00:29:49.645
<00:29:45.845>which <00:29:46.020>is <00:29:46.195>happening <00:29:46.370>and <00:29:46.545>everything <00:29:46.720>else <00:29:46.895>is <00:29:47.070>a <00:29:47.245>story,

568
00:29:50.365 --> 00:29:52.075
<00:29:50.365>which <00:29:50.565>we <00:29:50.765>are, <00:29:50.965>we <00:29:51.165>are <00:29:51.365>adding <00:29:51.565>over <00:29:51.765>that.

569
00:29:55.605 --> 00:29:59.105
<00:29:55.605>Now, <00:29:55.885>I <00:29:56.165>I <00:29:56.445>have <00:29:56.725>a <00:29:57.005>question.

570
00:30:01.295 --> 00:30:04.145
<00:30:01.295>Does <00:30:01.470>a <00:30:01.645>fish <00:30:01.820>knows <00:30:01.995>that <00:30:02.170>it <00:30:02.345>lives <00:30:02.520>in <00:30:02.695>water?

571
00:30:06.955 --> 00:30:08.675
<00:30:06.955>A <00:30:07.155>fish <00:30:07.355>who <00:30:07.554>has <00:30:07.754>been <00:30:07.955>in <00:30:08.155>a <00:30:08.355>lake

572
00:30:08.695 --> 00:30:12.645
<00:30:08.695>or <00:30:08.895>in <00:30:09.095>in <00:30:09.294>the <00:30:09.495>ocean <00:30:09.695>does <00:30:09.895>not <00:30:10.095>know

573
00:30:12.795 --> 00:30:13.845
<00:30:12.795>that <00:30:13.031>it <00:30:13.267>lives <00:30:13.503>in <00:30:13.740>water.

574
00:30:15.385 --> 00:30:18.805
<00:30:15.385>In <00:30:15.501>fact, <00:30:15.618>the <00:30:15.735>only <00:30:15.851>time <00:30:15.968>a <00:30:16.085>fish <00:30:16.201>realizes <00:30:16.318>that <00:30:16.435>it <00:30:16.551>is <00:30:16.668>in <00:30:16.785>water

575
00:30:19.815 --> 00:30:21.675
<00:30:19.815>is <00:30:19.990>when <00:30:20.165>you <00:30:20.340>take <00:30:20.515>the <00:30:20.690>fish <00:30:20.865>out <00:30:21.040>of <00:30:21.215>water.

576
00:30:21.775 --> 00:30:23.515
<00:30:21.775>And <00:30:22.055>that's, <00:30:22.335>that's <00:30:22.615>the <00:30:22.895>first <00:30:23.175>time

577
00:30:24.215 --> 00:30:26.155
<00:30:24.215>the <00:30:24.564>fish <00:30:24.915>sees <00:30:25.264>something <00:30:25.615>else.

578
00:30:27.415 --> 00:30:29.875
<00:30:27.415>And <00:30:27.615>I <00:30:27.815>say <00:30:28.014>that <00:30:28.215>we <00:30:28.415>live <00:30:28.615>in <00:30:28.815>language,

579
00:30:30.425 --> 00:30:32.195
<00:30:30.425>just <00:30:30.705>like <00:30:30.985>fish <00:30:31.264>lives <00:30:31.544>in <00:30:31.825>water.

580
00:30:33.085 --> 00:30:37.035
<00:30:33.085>There <00:30:33.212>is <00:30:33.339>a <00:30:33.466>quote <00:30:33.594>by <00:30:33.721>Mark <00:30:33.848>Twain, <00:30:33.975>which <00:30:34.103>which <00:30:34.230>comes <00:30:34.357>to <00:30:34.485>mind,

581
00:30:37.565 --> 00:30:40.355
<00:30:37.565>which <00:30:37.765>is <00:30:37.965>like, <00:30:38.165>I <00:30:38.365>am <00:30:38.565>always <00:30:38.765>in <00:30:38.965>conversation

582
00:30:41.715 --> 00:30:44.815
<00:30:41.715>and <00:30:41.889>only <00:30:42.064>sometimes <00:30:42.240>other <00:30:42.415>people <00:30:42.590>are <00:30:42.764>invo <00:30:42.939>are <00:30:43.115>involved.

583
00:30:45.845 --> 00:30:47.785
<00:30:45.845>So <00:30:46.078>even <00:30:46.311>when <00:30:46.545>I <00:30:46.778>am <00:30:47.011>not <00:30:47.245>talking,

584
00:30:48.175 --> 00:30:51.025
<00:30:48.175>even <00:30:48.350>if <00:30:48.524>there <00:30:48.700>is <00:30:48.875>no <00:30:49.050>external <00:30:49.225>conversation <00:30:49.399>going <00:30:49.575>on,

585
00:30:51.515 --> 00:30:54.265
<00:30:51.515>there <00:30:51.715>is <00:30:51.915>always <00:30:52.115>an <00:30:52.315>internal <00:30:52.515>conversation <00:30:52.715>going <00:30:52.915>on.

586
00:30:54.325 --> 00:30:56.865
<00:30:54.325>Our <00:30:54.605>brain <00:30:54.885>is <00:30:55.165>constantly <00:30:55.445>thinking, <00:30:55.725>constantly

587
00:30:57.885 --> 00:31:00.705
<00:30:57.885>seeing <00:30:58.060>whatever <00:30:58.235>it <00:30:58.410>is <00:30:58.585>sensing <00:30:58.760>from <00:30:58.935>the <00:30:59.110>outside <00:30:59.285>world

588
00:31:00.805 --> 00:31:03.265
<00:31:00.805>and <00:31:00.980>making <00:31:01.155>a <00:31:01.330>listening, <00:31:01.505>making <00:31:01.680>a <00:31:01.855>story <00:31:02.030>about <00:31:02.205>it.

589
00:31:04.545 --> 00:31:06.725
<00:31:04.545>And <00:31:04.720>this <00:31:04.895>is <00:31:05.070>nothing, <00:31:05.245>this <00:31:05.420>is <00:31:05.595>nothing <00:31:05.770>wrong, <00:31:05.945>right?

590
00:31:06.915 --> 00:31:09.925
<00:31:06.915>This <00:31:07.070>is, <00:31:07.226>this <00:31:07.381>is <00:31:07.537>hardwired <00:31:07.692>into <00:31:07.848>us <00:31:08.003>to <00:31:08.159>make <00:31:08.315>sense

591
00:31:09.925 --> 00:31:12.645
<00:31:09.925>of <00:31:10.100>the <00:31:10.274>world <00:31:10.450>around <00:31:10.625>us <00:31:10.800>and <00:31:10.975>to <00:31:11.149>stay <00:31:11.325>safe.

592
00:31:13.185 --> 00:31:14.445
<00:31:13.185>If <00:31:13.468>I <00:31:13.752>see <00:31:14.035>something <00:31:14.319>happening

593
00:31:14.445 --> 00:31:17.245
<00:31:14.445>and <00:31:14.561>I <00:31:14.678>make <00:31:14.794>a <00:31:14.911>story <00:31:15.028>about <00:31:15.145>it <00:31:15.261>that <00:31:15.378>allows <00:31:15.495>me <00:31:15.611>to <00:31:15.728>take <00:31:15.845>action.

594
00:31:17.705 --> 00:31:21.065
<00:31:17.705>So <00:31:17.860>this <00:31:18.016>is <00:31:18.171>how <00:31:18.327>we <00:31:18.482>operate <00:31:18.638>as <00:31:18.793>a <00:31:18.949>human <00:31:19.105>being.

595
00:31:21.725 --> 00:31:24.185
<00:31:21.725>And <00:31:21.899>this <00:31:22.074>is, <00:31:22.250>uh, <00:31:22.425>this <00:31:22.600>is <00:31:22.774>not <00:31:22.949>something <00:31:23.125>which

596
00:31:24.185 --> 00:31:25.265
<00:31:24.185>is, <00:31:24.379>uh, <00:31:24.573>which <00:31:24.768>is <00:31:24.962>a <00:31:25.157>bug.

597
00:31:25.285 --> 00:31:26.625
<00:31:25.285>In <00:31:25.486>fact, <00:31:25.687>in <00:31:25.888>fact, <00:31:26.089>it's <00:31:26.290>a <00:31:26.491>feature.

598
00:31:28.215 --> 00:31:29.395
<00:31:28.215>So <00:31:28.480>we <00:31:28.745>live <00:31:29.011>in <00:31:29.277>language

599
00:31:29.975 --> 00:31:34.255
<00:31:29.975>and <00:31:30.102>we <00:31:30.229>are <00:31:30.356>always <00:31:30.484>in <00:31:30.611>a <00:31:30.738>conversation, <00:31:30.865>whether <00:31:30.993>it <00:31:31.120>is <00:31:31.247>with <00:31:31.375>a,

600
00:31:34.255 --> 00:31:36.735
<00:31:34.255>with <00:31:34.410>our <00:31:34.566>internal <00:31:34.721>state <00:31:34.877>or <00:31:35.032>it <00:31:35.188>is <00:31:35.343>with <00:31:35.499>somebody <00:31:35.655>else.

601
00:31:40.925 --> 00:31:42.585
<00:31:40.925>Now, <00:31:41.158>a <00:31:41.391>question <00:31:41.625>which <00:31:41.858>you <00:31:42.091>can <00:31:42.325>ask

602
00:31:42.765 --> 00:31:45.345
<00:31:42.765>and <00:31:42.920>we'll <00:31:43.076>talk <00:31:43.231>about <00:31:43.387>in <00:31:43.542>the, <00:31:43.698>in <00:31:43.853>the <00:31:44.009>next <00:31:44.165>question,

603
00:31:45.345 --> 00:31:47.825
<00:31:45.345>next <00:31:45.520>topic, <00:31:45.695>around <00:31:45.870>three <00:31:46.045>levels <00:31:46.220>of <00:31:46.395>listening <00:31:46.570>as <00:31:46.745>well.

604
00:31:48.505 --> 00:31:50.265
<00:31:48.505>A <00:31:48.705>question <00:31:48.905>you <00:31:49.105>can <00:31:49.305>ask <00:31:49.505>yourself <00:31:49.705>is <00:31:49.905>that,

605
00:31:50.445 --> 00:31:52.305
<00:31:50.445>is <00:31:50.620>this <00:31:50.794>a <00:31:50.970>fact <00:31:51.145>or <00:31:51.320>is <00:31:51.495>it <00:31:51.669>a <00:31:51.845>story?

606
00:31:54.395 --> 00:31:56.895
<00:31:54.395>And <00:31:54.535>a <00:31:54.675>fact <00:31:54.815>is <00:31:54.955>something <00:31:55.095>which <00:31:55.235>is <00:31:55.375>the <00:31:55.514>same <00:31:55.655>for <00:31:55.795>everybody,

607
00:31:57.385 --> 00:32:00.015
<00:31:57.385>which <00:31:57.560>is <00:31:57.735>an <00:31:57.910>objective <00:31:58.085>truth, <00:31:58.260>which <00:31:58.435>can <00:31:58.610>be <00:31:58.785>measured.

608
00:32:00.195 --> 00:32:03.655
<00:32:00.195>For <00:32:00.335>example, <00:32:00.475>if <00:32:00.615>I <00:32:00.754>say <00:32:00.895>the <00:32:01.034>weather <00:32:01.175>is <00:32:01.314>20 <00:32:01.455>degrees <00:32:01.595>outside,

609
00:32:04.595 --> 00:32:08.305
<00:32:04.595>that <00:32:04.875>is <00:32:05.155>a <00:32:05.435>fact, <00:32:05.715>everybody <00:32:05.995>can

610
00:32:09.405 --> 00:32:10.865
<00:32:09.405>go <00:32:09.667>out <00:32:09.930>and <00:32:10.193>take <00:32:10.456>the <00:32:10.719>measurement

611
00:32:11.245 --> 00:32:12.585
<00:32:11.245>and <00:32:11.486>will <00:32:11.727>get <00:32:11.968>the <00:32:12.209>same <00:32:12.451>result.

612
00:32:14.615 --> 00:32:18.675
<00:32:14.615>But <00:32:14.755>if <00:32:14.895>I <00:32:15.035>say <00:32:15.175>that <00:32:15.315>the <00:32:15.455>weather <00:32:15.595>is <00:32:15.735>cool <00:32:15.875>or <00:32:16.015>cold

613
00:32:19.095 --> 00:32:22.725
<00:32:19.095>or <00:32:19.295>warm, <00:32:19.495>I'm <00:32:19.695>actually <00:32:19.895>not <00:32:20.095>describing <00:32:20.295>the <00:32:20.495>weather.

614
00:32:23.205 --> 00:32:26.205
<00:32:23.205>I <00:32:23.360>am <00:32:23.516>describing <00:32:23.671>how <00:32:23.827>I <00:32:23.982>am <00:32:24.138>listening <00:32:24.293>to <00:32:24.449>the <00:32:24.605>weather

615
00:32:26.865 --> 00:32:29.685
<00:32:26.865>or <00:32:27.065>how <00:32:27.265>I <00:32:27.465>am <00:32:27.665>interpreting <00:32:27.865>the <00:32:28.065>20 <00:32:28.265>degrees.

616
00:32:30.895 --> 00:32:33.505
<00:32:30.895>Because <00:32:31.070>for <00:32:31.245>one <00:32:31.420>person, <00:32:31.595>20 <00:32:31.770>degrees <00:32:31.945>might <00:32:32.120>be <00:32:32.295>warm

617
00:32:33.685 --> 00:32:37.905
<00:32:33.685>and <00:32:33.840>for <00:32:33.996>another <00:32:34.151>person, <00:32:34.307>20 <00:32:34.462>degrees <00:32:34.618>might <00:32:34.773>be <00:32:34.929>cold, <00:32:35.085>right?

618
00:32:37.925 --> 00:32:42.415
<00:32:37.925>So, <00:32:38.205>and <00:32:38.485>I'll <00:32:38.764>ask, <00:32:39.044>another <00:32:39.325>way

619
00:32:42.415 --> 00:32:44.335
<00:32:42.415>to <00:32:42.570>ask <00:32:42.726>this <00:32:42.881>question <00:32:43.037>is <00:32:43.192>what <00:32:43.348>would <00:32:43.503>a <00:32:43.659>camera <00:32:43.815>see?

620
00:32:44.645 --> 00:32:46.175
<00:32:44.645>What <00:32:44.989>would <00:32:45.333>an <00:32:45.677>instrument <00:32:46.022>observe?

621
00:32:46.595 --> 00:32:49.295
<00:32:46.595>So <00:32:46.735>if <00:32:46.875>you <00:32:47.015>put <00:32:47.155>an <00:32:47.295>instrument, <00:32:47.435>it <00:32:47.575>would <00:32:47.715>observe <00:32:47.855>20 <00:32:47.995>degrees.

622
00:32:49.315 --> 00:32:51.535
<00:32:49.315>It <00:32:49.548>would <00:32:49.781>not <00:32:50.015>say <00:32:50.248>warm, <00:32:50.481>more <00:32:50.715>hot

623
00:32:51.555 --> 00:32:53.055
<00:32:51.555>unless <00:32:51.825>it <00:32:52.095>is <00:32:52.365>programmed <00:32:52.635>into <00:32:52.905>it.

624
00:32:54.595 --> 00:32:55.775
<00:32:54.595>And <00:32:54.807>we <00:32:55.019>are <00:32:55.232>talking <00:32:55.444>about <00:32:55.657>this

625
00:32:55.775 --> 00:32:58.215
<00:32:55.775>because <00:32:56.008>all <00:32:56.241>we, <00:32:56.475>we <00:32:56.708>all <00:32:56.941>know <00:32:57.175>that

626
00:32:58.475 --> 00:33:00.575
<00:32:58.475>to <00:32:58.649>produce <00:32:58.824>the <00:32:59.000>results <00:32:59.175>we <00:32:59.350>need <00:32:59.524>to <00:32:59.699>take <00:32:59.875>action.

627
00:33:03.205 --> 00:33:04.985
<00:33:03.205>So <00:33:03.438>all <00:33:03.671>results <00:33:03.905>come <00:33:04.138>from <00:33:04.371>our <00:33:04.605>actions,

628
00:33:05.905 --> 00:33:07.565
<00:33:05.905>but <00:33:06.138>where <00:33:06.371>do <00:33:06.605>our <00:33:06.838>actions <00:33:07.071>come <00:33:07.305>from?

629
00:33:08.065 --> 00:33:10.725
<00:33:08.065>Our <00:33:08.220>actions <00:33:08.376>come <00:33:08.531>from <00:33:08.687>the <00:33:08.842>stories <00:33:08.998>that <00:33:09.153>we <00:33:09.309>are <00:33:09.465>creating.

630
00:33:11.715 --> 00:33:14.535
<00:33:11.715>So <00:33:11.842>if <00:33:11.969>I <00:33:12.096>create <00:33:12.224>a <00:33:12.351>story <00:33:12.478>that <00:33:12.605>the <00:33:12.733>weather <00:33:12.860>is <00:33:12.987>warm <00:33:13.115>outside,

631
00:33:14.775 --> 00:33:16.055
<00:33:14.775>I <00:33:14.967>will <00:33:15.159>take <00:33:15.351>a <00:33:15.543>very <00:33:15.735>different <00:33:15.927>action.

632
00:33:16.455 --> 00:33:17.775
<00:33:16.455>I <00:33:16.851>wearing <00:33:17.247>a <00:33:17.643>t-shirt.

633
00:33:18.315 --> 00:33:21.335
<00:33:18.315>And <00:33:18.422>if <00:33:18.530>I <00:33:18.638>say, <00:33:18.745>if <00:33:18.853>I <00:33:18.961>create <00:33:19.068>a <00:33:19.176>story <00:33:19.284>that <00:33:19.391>the <00:33:19.499>weather <00:33:19.607>is <00:33:19.715>cold

634
00:33:21.335 --> 00:33:23.775
<00:33:21.335>outside, <00:33:21.535>I <00:33:21.735>might <00:33:21.935>take <00:33:22.135>a <00:33:22.335>very <00:33:22.535>different <00:33:22.735>action

635
00:33:23.775 --> 00:33:24.815
<00:33:23.775>like <00:33:24.009>picking <00:33:24.243>up <00:33:24.477>a <00:33:24.711>jacket.

636
00:33:26.085 --> 00:33:29.625
<00:33:26.085>So <00:33:26.260>every <00:33:26.435>our <00:33:26.610>stories <00:33:26.785>determine <00:33:26.960>every <00:33:27.135>action <00:33:27.310>we <00:33:27.485>take,

637
00:33:30.425 --> 00:33:32.645
<00:33:30.425>and <00:33:30.625>then <00:33:30.825>action <00:33:31.024>determines <00:33:31.225>the <00:33:31.425>result <00:33:31.625>we <00:33:31.825>produce.

638
00:33:32.985 --> 00:33:35.125
<00:33:32.985>So <00:33:33.185>if <00:33:33.385>you <00:33:33.584>do <00:33:33.784>not <00:33:33.985>have <00:33:34.185>the <00:33:34.385>results,

639
00:33:37.015 --> 00:33:39.195
<00:33:37.015>the <00:33:37.190>the <00:33:37.365>question <00:33:37.540>which <00:33:37.715>we <00:33:37.890>normally <00:33:38.065>ask <00:33:38.240>is <00:33:38.415>that,

640
00:33:39.195 --> 00:33:40.275
<00:33:39.195>what <00:33:39.389>is <00:33:39.583>the <00:33:39.778>action <00:33:39.972>I'm <00:33:40.167>taking?

641
00:33:40.275 --> 00:33:42.235
<00:33:40.275>What <00:33:40.430>is <00:33:40.586>the <00:33:40.741>new <00:33:40.897>action <00:33:41.052>I'm <00:33:41.208>take, <00:33:41.363>I <00:33:41.519>can <00:33:41.675>take,

642
00:33:42.975 --> 00:33:44.835
<00:33:42.975>but <00:33:43.208>another <00:33:43.441>to <00:33:43.675>go <00:33:43.908>another <00:33:44.141>level <00:33:44.375>deeper.

643
00:33:44.975 --> 00:33:46.195
<00:33:44.975>You <00:33:45.194>can <00:33:45.414>also <00:33:45.633>ask <00:33:45.853>this <00:33:46.072>question,

644
00:33:46.265 --> 00:33:48.235
<00:33:46.265>what <00:33:46.465>is <00:33:46.665>the <00:33:46.865>story <00:33:47.065>that <00:33:47.265>I'm <00:33:47.465>living <00:33:47.665>in?

645
00:33:48.235 --> 00:33:49.635
<00:33:48.235>What <00:33:48.445>is <00:33:48.655>the <00:33:48.865>story <00:33:49.075>that <00:33:49.284>I'm <00:33:49.495>making

646
00:33:50.255 --> 00:33:52.795
<00:33:50.255>and <00:33:50.410>what <00:33:50.566>is <00:33:50.721>an <00:33:50.877>alternate <00:33:51.032>story <00:33:51.188>that <00:33:51.343>I <00:33:51.499>can <00:33:51.655>create?

647
00:33:57.575 --> 00:34:00.075
<00:33:57.575>And <00:33:57.730>as <00:33:57.886>human <00:33:58.041>beings, <00:33:58.197>we <00:33:58.352>create <00:33:58.508>a <00:33:58.663>lot <00:33:58.819>of <00:33:58.975>things.

648
00:34:02.145 --> 00:34:03.925
<00:34:02.145>We <00:34:02.845>create <00:34:03.545>software,

649
00:34:04.465 --> 00:34:07.485
<00:34:04.465>we <00:34:04.639>create <00:34:04.814>physical <00:34:04.990>objects <00:34:05.165>like <00:34:05.340>cars, <00:34:05.514>stuff <00:34:05.689>like <00:34:05.865>that.

650
00:34:08.185 --> 00:34:11.675
<00:34:08.185>Why <00:34:08.360>do <00:34:08.534>we <00:34:08.710>do <00:34:08.884>that? <00:34:09.060>We <00:34:09.235>always <00:34:09.409>create <00:34:09.585>something

651
00:34:11.695 --> 00:34:12.835
<00:34:11.695>for <00:34:12.037>a <00:34:12.379>particular <00:34:12.721>outcome.

652
00:34:13.375 --> 00:34:16.235
<00:34:13.375>So <00:34:13.550>we <00:34:13.725>create <00:34:13.900>software <00:34:14.074>to <00:34:14.250>meet <00:34:14.425>a <00:34:14.600>business <00:34:14.775>outcome.

653
00:34:16.575 --> 00:34:20.195
<00:34:16.574>We <00:34:16.730>create <00:34:16.886>a <00:34:17.041>vehicle <00:34:17.197>to <00:34:17.352>go <00:34:17.508>from <00:34:17.663>A <00:34:17.819>to <00:34:17.975>B.

654
00:34:20.965 --> 00:34:23.935
<00:34:20.965>Similarly, <00:34:21.140>ask <00:34:21.315>yourself, <00:34:21.490>why <00:34:21.665>do <00:34:21.840>you <00:34:22.015>create <00:34:22.190>a <00:34:22.365>story?

655
00:34:24.345 --> 00:34:25.795
<00:34:24.344>Because <00:34:24.671>it <00:34:24.997>is <00:34:25.323>your <00:34:25.650>creation.

656
00:34:26.255 --> 00:34:30.385
<00:34:26.255>So <00:34:26.371>if <00:34:26.488>you <00:34:26.605>have <00:34:26.721>a <00:34:26.838>story <00:34:26.955>that <00:34:27.071>your <00:34:27.188>manager <00:34:27.305>is, <00:34:27.421>is <00:34:27.538>rude <00:34:27.655>or,

657
00:34:30.485 --> 00:34:31.945
<00:34:30.485>or <00:34:30.704>the <00:34:30.923>manager <00:34:31.142>is <00:34:31.361>a <00:34:31.580>certain <00:34:31.799>way

658
00:34:32.565 --> 00:34:34.505
<00:34:32.565>or <00:34:32.740>a <00:34:32.915>company <00:34:33.090>is <00:34:33.264>a <00:34:33.440>certain <00:34:33.615>way, <00:34:33.790>ask <00:34:33.965>yourself,

659
00:34:34.565 --> 00:34:37.065
<00:34:34.565>why <00:34:34.720>are <00:34:34.876>you <00:34:35.031>creating <00:34:35.187>that <00:34:35.342>story <00:34:35.498>for <00:34:35.653>the <00:34:35.809>sake <00:34:35.965>of

660
00:34:37.065 --> 00:34:39.265
<00:34:37.065>what <00:34:37.415>result <00:34:37.764>are <00:34:38.115>you <00:34:38.465>creating?

661
00:34:39.265 --> 00:34:43.925
<00:34:39.264>That <00:34:39.731>story <00:34:40.198>facts <00:34:40.665>never

662
00:34:44.035 --> 00:34:48.195
<00:34:44.034>stop <00:34:44.190>you <00:34:44.346>from <00:34:44.501>producing <00:34:44.657>a <00:34:44.812>particular <00:34:44.968>result <00:34:45.123>in <00:34:45.279>the <00:34:45.435>future.

663
00:34:49.355 --> 00:34:52.045
<00:34:49.355>What <00:34:49.635>stops <00:34:49.915>you <00:34:50.195>is <00:34:50.475>your <00:34:50.755>stories.

664
00:34:53.025 --> 00:34:55.045
<00:34:53.025>And <00:34:53.258>that's, <00:34:53.491>that's <00:34:53.725>where <00:34:53.958>it <00:34:54.191>gets <00:34:54.425>fascinating

665
00:34:55.425 --> 00:34:59.545
<00:34:55.425>and <00:34:55.658>also <00:34:55.891>a <00:34:56.125>little <00:34:56.358>bit <00:34:56.591>provocative, <00:34:56.825>right?

666
00:35:00.005 --> 00:35:02.585
<00:35:00.005>And <00:35:00.132>that's <00:35:00.259>why, <00:35:00.386>that's <00:35:00.514>why <00:35:00.641>I <00:35:00.768>said <00:35:00.895>in <00:35:01.023>the <00:35:01.150>beginning <00:35:01.277>that, <00:35:01.405>uh,

667
00:35:04.495 --> 00:35:06.345
<00:35:04.495>stay <00:35:04.728>open <00:35:04.961>to <00:35:05.194>what <00:35:05.428>I'm <00:35:05.661>share <00:35:05.895>sharing.

668
00:35:06.445 --> 00:35:07.985
<00:35:06.445>You <00:35:06.643>do <00:35:06.841>not <00:35:07.039>have <00:35:07.237>to <00:35:07.435>agree <00:35:07.633>with <00:35:07.831>me,

669
00:35:08.125 --> 00:35:10.025
<00:35:08.125>but <00:35:08.300>play <00:35:08.475>around <00:35:08.650>with <00:35:08.825>it <00:35:09.000>and <00:35:09.175>see <00:35:09.350>what <00:35:09.525>happens.

670
00:35:10.175 --> 00:35:11.985
<00:35:10.175>Take <00:35:10.455>it <00:35:10.735>outside <00:35:11.015>in <00:35:11.295>your <00:35:11.575>world,

671
00:35:12.355 --> 00:35:13.985
<00:35:12.355>experiment <00:35:12.588>with <00:35:12.821>it <00:35:13.055>and <00:35:13.288>see <00:35:13.521>what <00:35:13.755>happens.

672
00:35:18.055 --> 00:35:19.275
<00:35:18.055>And <00:35:18.238>I <00:35:18.421>want <00:35:18.604>to <00:35:18.787>make <00:35:18.970>a <00:35:19.153>disclaimer.

673
00:35:19.295 --> 00:35:22.475
<00:35:19.295>I'm, <00:35:19.470>I'm <00:35:19.645>not <00:35:19.820>asking <00:35:19.995>you <00:35:20.170>to <00:35:20.345>not <00:35:20.520>make <00:35:20.695>stories.

674
00:35:24.045 --> 00:35:25.625
<00:35:24.045>I'm <00:35:24.325>not <00:35:24.605>saying <00:35:24.885>stories <00:35:25.165>are <00:35:25.445>bad.

675
00:35:26.375 --> 00:35:28.265
<00:35:26.375>What <00:35:26.608>I'm <00:35:26.841>saying <00:35:27.075>is <00:35:27.308>that <00:35:27.541>be <00:35:27.775>mindful

676
00:35:28.325 --> 00:35:29.545
<00:35:28.325>of <00:35:28.599>the <00:35:28.874>stories <00:35:29.148>you're <00:35:29.423>making

677
00:35:30.385 --> 00:35:34.035
<00:35:30.385>because <00:35:30.560>your <00:35:30.735>stories <00:35:30.910>determine <00:35:31.085>which <00:35:31.260>actions <00:35:31.435>you <00:35:31.610>will <00:35:31.785>take

678
00:35:34.935 --> 00:35:36.395
<00:35:34.935>and <00:35:35.197>which <00:35:35.460>results <00:35:35.723>you <00:35:35.986>will <00:35:36.249>produce.

679
00:35:40.505 --> 00:35:42.965
<00:35:40.505>Let <00:35:40.660>me <00:35:40.816>take <00:35:40.971>another <00:35:41.127>very <00:35:41.282>simple <00:35:41.438>but <00:35:41.593>very <00:35:41.749>powerful <00:35:41.905>example.

680
00:35:43.765 --> 00:35:46.725
<00:35:43.765>I <00:35:43.904>have <00:35:44.045>this <00:35:44.185>pen <00:35:44.325>in, <00:35:44.464>in <00:35:44.605>my <00:35:44.745>hand <00:35:44.884>right <00:35:45.025>now, <00:35:45.165>right?

681
00:35:46.755 --> 00:35:48.165
<00:35:46.755>This <00:35:47.072>is <00:35:47.389>a <00:35:47.706>physical <00:35:48.024>object.

682
00:35:48.925 --> 00:35:51.165
<00:35:48.925>I <00:35:49.080>can <00:35:49.236>touch <00:35:49.391>this <00:35:49.547>pen, <00:35:49.702>I <00:35:49.858>can <00:35:50.013>sense <00:35:50.169>this <00:35:50.325>pen.

683
00:35:51.205 --> 00:35:53.645
<00:35:51.205>I <00:35:51.345>can <00:35:51.485>see <00:35:51.625>this <00:35:51.765>pen. <00:35:51.904>So <00:35:52.045>this <00:35:52.185>is <00:35:52.325>a <00:35:52.465>pen <00:35:52.605>which

684
00:35:54.345 --> 00:35:56.685
<00:35:54.345>exists <00:35:54.811>independent <00:35:55.278>of <00:35:55.745>me.

685
00:35:57.545 --> 00:36:00.205
<00:35:57.545>If <00:35:57.685>I <00:35:57.825>am <00:35:57.965>not <00:35:58.105>seeing <00:35:58.245>this <00:35:58.385>pen, <00:35:58.525>if <00:35:58.665>I'm <00:35:58.805>not <00:35:58.945>here,

686
00:36:00.385 --> 00:36:03.925
<00:36:00.385>the <00:36:00.665>pen <00:36:00.945>is <00:36:01.225>still <00:36:01.505>there, <00:36:01.785>right?

687
00:36:04.385 --> 00:36:06.045
<00:36:04.385>But <00:36:04.665>what, <00:36:04.945>what <00:36:05.225>are <00:36:05.505>our <00:36:05.785>problems?

688
00:36:08.905 --> 00:36:11.005
<00:36:08.905>If <00:36:09.185>I <00:36:09.465>have <00:36:09.745>a <00:36:10.025>problem, <00:36:10.305>does

689
00:36:11.005 --> 00:36:13.205
<00:36:11.005>that <00:36:11.285>problem <00:36:11.565>exist <00:36:11.845>independent <00:36:12.125>of <00:36:12.405>me?

690
00:36:14.395 --> 00:36:17.575
<00:36:14.395>And <00:36:14.550>the <00:36:14.706>point <00:36:14.861>I'm <00:36:15.017>making <00:36:15.172>here <00:36:15.328>is <00:36:15.483>that <00:36:15.639>our <00:36:15.795>problems

691
00:36:18.795 --> 00:36:20.775
<00:36:18.795>is <00:36:19.028>a <00:36:19.261>story <00:36:19.495>which <00:36:19.728>we <00:36:19.961>have <00:36:20.195>created.

692
00:36:22.075 --> 00:36:23.135
<00:36:22.075>I'm <00:36:22.265>not <00:36:22.456>saying <00:36:22.647>they're <00:36:22.838>not <00:36:23.029>real.

693
00:36:24.335 --> 00:36:26.235
<00:36:24.335>I'm <00:36:24.510>not <00:36:24.685>saying <00:36:24.860>we <00:36:25.035>should <00:36:25.210>not <00:36:25.385>create <00:36:25.560>those <00:36:25.735>stories,

694
00:36:26.335 --> 00:36:30.595
<00:36:26.335>but <00:36:26.475>I'm <00:36:26.615>saying <00:36:26.755>our <00:36:26.895>problem <00:36:27.035>is <00:36:27.175>a <00:36:27.315>creation <00:36:27.455>of <00:36:27.595>our <00:36:27.735>mind.

695
00:36:30.935 --> 00:36:34.515
<00:36:30.935>Any <00:36:31.215>problem. <00:36:31.495>And <00:36:31.775>similarly, <00:36:32.055>any <00:36:32.335>possibility,

696
00:36:34.935 --> 00:36:38.315
<00:36:34.935>any <00:36:35.168>opportunity <00:36:35.401>in <00:36:35.634>the <00:36:35.868>future <00:36:36.101>is <00:36:36.335>not

697
00:36:38.675 --> 00:36:39.995
<00:36:38.675>physical, <00:36:38.972>like, <00:36:39.269>like <00:36:39.566>a <00:36:39.863>pen.

698
00:36:40.535 --> 00:36:43.075
<00:36:40.535>So <00:36:40.710>that's <00:36:40.884>a <00:36:41.060>difference <00:36:41.234>between <00:36:41.410>a <00:36:41.585>pen, <00:36:41.759>a <00:36:41.935>problem

699
00:36:43.255 --> 00:36:45.555
<00:36:43.255>and <00:36:43.455>a <00:36:43.655>possibility <00:36:43.855>that <00:36:44.055>a <00:36:44.255>pen <00:36:44.455>is <00:36:44.655>physical,

700
00:36:46.145 --> 00:36:47.955
<00:36:46.145>it's <00:36:46.425>objective, <00:36:46.705>it <00:36:46.985>is <00:36:47.265>a <00:36:47.545>fact.

701
00:36:48.175 --> 00:36:49.875
<00:36:48.175>It <00:36:48.525>exists <00:36:48.875>outside <00:36:49.225>of <00:36:49.575>me.

702
00:36:50.535 --> 00:36:53.715
<00:36:50.535>But <00:36:50.642>if <00:36:50.750>I <00:36:50.858>create <00:36:50.965>a <00:36:51.073>problem, <00:36:51.181>if <00:36:51.288>I <00:36:51.396>say <00:36:51.504>this <00:36:51.611>is <00:36:51.719>a <00:36:51.827>bad <00:36:51.935>pen,

703
00:36:53.855 --> 00:36:57.275
<00:36:53.855>or <00:36:53.982>this <00:36:54.109>is <00:36:54.236>an <00:36:54.364>ugly <00:36:54.491>pen, <00:36:54.618>that <00:36:54.745>is <00:36:54.873>not <00:36:55.000>describing <00:36:55.127>the <00:36:55.255>pen,

704
00:36:57.275 --> 00:37:01.155
<00:36:57.275>that <00:36:57.402>is <00:36:57.529>describing <00:36:57.656>how <00:36:57.784>I <00:36:57.911>am <00:36:58.038>creating <00:36:58.165>a <00:36:58.293>story <00:36:58.420>about <00:36:58.547>the <00:36:58.675>pen,

705
00:37:01.495 --> 00:37:03.195
<00:37:01.495>or <00:37:01.670>if <00:37:01.845>I <00:37:02.020>say <00:37:02.194>this <00:37:02.370>is <00:37:02.545>a <00:37:02.720>wonderful <00:37:02.895>pen,

706
00:37:03.375 --> 00:37:06.315
<00:37:03.375>or <00:37:03.502>if <00:37:03.629>I <00:37:03.756>said, <00:37:03.884>this <00:37:04.011>is <00:37:04.138>my <00:37:04.265>lucky <00:37:04.393>pen, <00:37:04.520>that <00:37:04.647>is <00:37:04.775>again,

707
00:37:06.725 --> 00:37:08.795
<00:37:06.725>describing <00:37:07.005>how <00:37:07.285>I <00:37:07.565>interpret <00:37:07.845>this <00:37:08.125>pen.

708
00:37:10.915 --> 00:37:13.375
<00:37:10.915>So <00:37:11.090>a <00:37:11.265>lot <00:37:11.440>to <00:37:11.615>digest, <00:37:11.790>a <00:37:11.965>little <00:37:12.140>bit <00:37:12.315>provocative.

709
00:37:13.795 --> 00:37:15.725
<00:37:13.795>Uh, <00:37:14.145>but <00:37:14.495>let's <00:37:14.845>move <00:37:15.195>on.

710
00:37:17.345 --> 00:37:19.095
<00:37:17.345>Let's <00:37:17.578>take <00:37:17.811>a <00:37:18.044>deeper <00:37:18.278>dive <00:37:18.511>into <00:37:18.745>listening

711
00:37:20.315 --> 00:37:22.335
<00:37:20.315>and <00:37:20.515>let's <00:37:20.715>talk <00:37:20.915>about <00:37:21.115>three <00:37:21.315>levels <00:37:21.515>of <00:37:21.715>listening.

712
00:37:22.355 --> 00:37:24.975
<00:37:22.355>So <00:37:22.495>the <00:37:22.635>first <00:37:22.775>one <00:37:22.915>is <00:37:23.055>what <00:37:23.195>we <00:37:23.335>have <00:37:23.475>just <00:37:23.615>spoken <00:37:23.755>about.

713
00:37:26.145 --> 00:37:27.205
<00:37:26.145>And <00:37:27.099>even

714
00:37:27.205 --> 00:37:30.045
<00:37:27.205>before <00:37:27.345>going <00:37:27.485>there, <00:37:27.625>the <00:37:27.765>there <00:37:27.904>is <00:37:28.045>a <00:37:28.185>level <00:37:28.325>zero <00:37:28.465>of <00:37:28.605>listening,

715
00:37:30.045 --> 00:37:32.525
<00:37:30.045>which <00:37:30.278>is <00:37:30.511>we <00:37:30.745>are <00:37:30.978>not <00:37:31.211>even <00:37:31.445>listening.

716
00:37:32.625 --> 00:37:34.445
<00:37:32.625>We <00:37:32.825>are <00:37:33.025>thinking <00:37:33.225>of <00:37:33.425>what <00:37:33.625>to <00:37:33.825>speak <00:37:34.025>next.

717
00:37:35.065 --> 00:37:37.005
<00:37:35.065>So <00:37:35.220>we <00:37:35.376>are <00:37:35.531>not <00:37:35.687>even <00:37:35.842>listening <00:37:35.998>to <00:37:36.153>the <00:37:36.309>other <00:37:36.465>person,

718
00:37:39.795 --> 00:37:41.935
<00:37:39.795>but <00:37:39.970>we <00:37:40.145>are <00:37:40.320>thinking <00:37:40.495>about <00:37:40.670>what <00:37:40.845>do <00:37:41.020>we <00:37:41.195>have

719
00:37:41.935 --> 00:37:43.095
<00:37:41.935>to <00:37:42.457>communicate, <00:37:42.979>right?

720
00:37:43.115 --> 00:37:45.695
<00:37:43.115>So <00:37:43.290>the <00:37:43.464>the <00:37:43.640>first <00:37:43.814>level <00:37:43.990>of <00:37:44.165>listening <00:37:44.339>is <00:37:44.515>listening

721
00:37:45.695 --> 00:37:47.975
<00:37:45.695>for <00:37:45.975>facts <00:37:46.255>versus <00:37:46.535>listening <00:37:46.815>for <00:37:47.095>stories.

722
00:37:48.865 --> 00:37:52.935
<00:37:48.865>Let's <00:37:48.981>say <00:37:49.098>I <00:37:49.214>joined <00:37:49.331>a <00:37:49.448>new <00:37:49.564>company, <00:37:49.681>I <00:37:49.798>walk <00:37:49.915>into <00:37:50.031>my <00:37:50.148>new <00:37:50.265>team

723
00:37:53.275 --> 00:37:57.105
<00:37:53.275>and <00:37:53.450>my <00:37:53.625>teammate <00:37:53.800>says, <00:37:53.975>watch <00:37:54.150>out <00:37:54.325>for <00:37:54.500>our <00:37:54.675>manager.

724
00:37:57.935 --> 00:38:00.665
<00:37:57.935>He's, <00:37:58.168>uh, <00:37:58.401>whatever, <00:37:58.634>he's <00:37:58.868>something, <00:37:59.101>something <00:37:59.335>something.

725
00:38:01.285 --> 00:38:05.985
<00:38:01.285>And <00:38:01.401>that's <00:38:01.518>the <00:38:01.634>story. <00:38:01.751>Do <00:38:01.868>I <00:38:01.984>take <00:38:02.101>that <00:38:02.218>as <00:38:02.335>as <00:38:02.451>at <00:38:02.568>face <00:38:02.685>value

726
00:38:06.325 --> 00:38:08.665
<00:38:06.325>or <00:38:06.500>do <00:38:06.674>I <00:38:06.850>ask <00:38:07.024>for <00:38:07.200>the <00:38:07.375>facts <00:38:07.549>behind <00:38:07.725>it?

727
00:38:10.255 --> 00:38:13.685
<00:38:10.255>Okay, <00:38:10.410>you're <00:38:10.566>telling <00:38:10.721>me <00:38:10.877>the <00:38:11.032>manager <00:38:11.188>is <00:38:11.343>this, <00:38:11.499>this, <00:38:11.655>this

728
00:38:13.995 --> 00:38:15.755
<00:38:13.995>what <00:38:14.694>happened, <00:38:15.395>right?

729
00:38:15.775 --> 00:38:17.875
<00:38:15.775>So <00:38:16.055>listening <00:38:16.335>for <00:38:16.615>facts, <00:38:16.895>what's <00:38:17.175>this?

730
00:38:17.875 --> 00:38:20.995
<00:38:17.875>Believing <00:38:18.050>the <00:38:18.225>stories <00:38:18.400>which <00:38:18.575>you're <00:38:18.750>getting <00:38:18.925>at <00:38:19.100>face <00:38:19.275>value.

731
00:38:22.105 --> 00:38:23.645
<00:38:22.105>So <00:38:22.382>if <00:38:22.659>you <00:38:22.936>join <00:38:23.213>your <00:38:23.491>company

732
00:38:24.305 --> 00:38:26.525
<00:38:24.305>and <00:38:24.480>everybody <00:38:24.654>says <00:38:24.830>the <00:38:25.004>culture <00:38:25.180>is <00:38:25.355>screwed <00:38:25.529>in <00:38:25.705>this

733
00:38:26.525 --> 00:38:30.335
<00:38:26.525>company, <00:38:26.875>do <00:38:27.225>you <00:38:27.575>believe <00:38:27.925>that?

734
00:38:30.515 --> 00:38:32.175
<00:38:30.515>Or <00:38:30.714>do <00:38:30.915>you <00:38:31.115>listen <00:38:31.315>deeply <00:38:31.515>to <00:38:31.714>the <00:38:31.915>facts

735
00:38:32.435 --> 00:38:35.565
<00:38:32.435>and <00:38:32.610>make <00:38:32.785>your <00:38:32.960>own <00:38:33.134>stories <00:38:33.310>rather <00:38:33.485>than <00:38:33.660>believing <00:38:33.835>whatever

736
00:38:35.565 --> 00:38:38.245
<00:38:35.565>stories <00:38:35.915>you're <00:38:36.265>receiving <00:38:36.615>from <00:38:36.965>others?

737
00:38:39.465 --> 00:38:41.005
<00:38:39.465>That's <00:38:39.742>the <00:38:40.019>first <00:38:40.296>level <00:38:40.573>of <00:38:40.851>listening.

738
00:38:42.705 --> 00:38:46.885
<00:38:42.705>The <00:38:42.880>second <00:38:43.055>level <00:38:43.230>of <00:38:43.404>listening <00:38:43.580>is <00:38:43.755>listening <00:38:43.930>for <00:38:44.105>emotions

739
00:38:48.065 --> 00:38:52.205
<00:38:48.065>and <00:38:48.240>listening <00:38:48.415>for <00:38:48.590>what <00:38:48.765>the <00:38:48.940>other <00:38:49.115>person <00:38:49.290>cares <00:38:49.465>about.

740
00:38:55.385 --> 00:38:57.805
<00:38:55.385>And <00:38:55.585>behind <00:38:55.785>the <00:38:55.985>words <00:38:56.185>which <00:38:56.385>you <00:38:56.585>are <00:38:56.785>speaking,

741
00:38:57.855 --> 00:39:01.325
<00:38:57.855>which <00:38:58.010>anybody <00:38:58.166>is <00:38:58.321>speaking, <00:38:58.477>there <00:38:58.632>is <00:38:58.788>always <00:38:58.943>a <00:38:59.099>certain <00:38:59.255>emotion

742
00:39:02.015 --> 00:39:04.205
<00:39:02.015>which <00:39:02.190>is <00:39:02.365>visible <00:39:02.540>normally <00:39:02.714>in <00:39:02.890>the <00:39:03.065>tone <00:39:03.240>of <00:39:03.415>voice

743
00:39:04.785 --> 00:39:05.845
<00:39:04.785>or <00:39:05.103>in <00:39:05.421>body <00:39:05.738>language.

744
00:39:07.695 --> 00:39:08.715
<00:39:07.695>Are <00:39:07.924>we <00:39:08.154>listening <00:39:08.383>to <00:39:08.613>that

745
00:39:08.895 --> 00:39:12.275
<00:39:08.895>or <00:39:09.022>are <00:39:09.149>we <00:39:09.276>only <00:39:09.404>listening <00:39:09.531>to <00:39:09.658>the <00:39:09.785>words, <00:39:09.913>the <00:39:10.040>language <00:39:10.167>of <00:39:10.295>it?

746
00:39:13.585 --> 00:39:14.645
<00:39:13.585>And <00:39:13.823>why <00:39:14.062>is <00:39:14.300>this <00:39:14.538>important?

747
00:39:14.645 --> 00:39:19.465
<00:39:14.645>Because <00:39:14.800>every <00:39:14.956>emotion <00:39:15.111>tells <00:39:15.267>us, <00:39:15.422>what <00:39:15.578>do <00:39:15.733>we <00:39:15.889>care <00:39:16.045>about?

748
00:39:20.685 --> 00:39:24.945
<00:39:20.685>If <00:39:20.825>I <00:39:20.965>am <00:39:21.105>angry <00:39:21.245>or <00:39:21.384>frustrated <00:39:21.525>at <00:39:21.665>something, <00:39:21.805>it <00:39:21.945>tells <00:39:22.085>me

749
00:39:24.945 --> 00:39:27.585
<00:39:24.945>that <00:39:25.100>something <00:39:25.256>which <00:39:25.411>I <00:39:25.567>care <00:39:25.722>about <00:39:25.878>is <00:39:26.033>not <00:39:26.189>being <00:39:26.345>met.

750
00:39:28.765 --> 00:39:32.345
<00:39:28.765>If <00:39:28.998>I <00:39:29.231>am <00:39:29.464>happy, <00:39:29.698>it <00:39:29.931>tells <00:39:30.165>me

751
00:39:32.345 --> 00:39:35.025
<00:39:32.345>that <00:39:32.520>something <00:39:32.694>which <00:39:32.870>I <00:39:33.044>care <00:39:33.220>about <00:39:33.395>is <00:39:33.569>being <00:39:33.745>met.

752
00:39:35.835 --> 00:39:37.895
<00:39:35.835>So <00:39:36.010>when <00:39:36.185>I'm <00:39:36.360>listening <00:39:36.535>to <00:39:36.710>somebody, <00:39:36.885>when <00:39:37.060>I'm <00:39:37.235>talking

753
00:39:37.895 --> 00:39:40.735
<00:39:37.895>to <00:39:38.050>somebody <00:39:38.206>and <00:39:38.361>I <00:39:38.517>can <00:39:38.672>see <00:39:38.828>a <00:39:38.983>sense <00:39:39.139>of <00:39:39.295>frustration,

754
00:39:41.615 --> 00:39:43.215
<00:39:41.615>I <00:39:41.895>can <00:39:42.174>listen <00:39:42.455>to <00:39:42.734>the <00:39:43.015>frustration

755
00:39:43.995 --> 00:39:48.005
<00:39:43.995>and <00:39:44.122>ask <00:39:44.249>the <00:39:44.376>person, <00:39:44.504>what <00:39:44.631>is <00:39:44.758>it <00:39:44.885>that <00:39:45.013>is <00:39:45.140>important <00:39:45.267>to <00:39:45.395>you

756
00:39:48.005 --> 00:39:49.245
<00:39:48.005>that <00:39:48.284>is <00:39:48.563>not <00:39:48.842>being <00:39:49.121>met

757
00:39:49.425 --> 00:39:53.165
<00:39:49.425>or <00:39:49.565>that <00:39:49.705>I <00:39:49.845>am <00:39:49.985>not <00:39:50.125>providing, <00:39:50.265>that <00:39:50.405>you <00:39:50.545>are <00:39:50.685>getting <00:39:50.825>frustrated

758
00:39:54.425 --> 00:39:56.925
<00:39:54.425>or, <00:39:54.625>or <00:39:54.825>you, <00:39:55.025>you <00:39:55.225>can <00:39:55.425>ask <00:39:55.625>very <00:39:55.825>gently

759
00:39:56.925 --> 00:39:58.525
<00:39:56.925>that <00:39:57.275>I <00:39:57.625>see <00:39:57.975>some <00:39:58.325>frustration.

760
00:39:58.605 --> 00:39:59.885
<00:39:58.605>I <00:39:58.989>sense <00:39:59.373>some <00:39:59.757>frustration.

761
00:40:01.225 --> 00:40:02.765
<00:40:01.225>Is <00:40:01.456>that <00:40:01.687>because <00:40:01.917>of <00:40:02.149>something <00:40:02.380>I <00:40:02.611>did?

762
00:40:02.825 --> 00:40:04.565
<00:40:02.825>Can <00:40:02.964>you, <00:40:03.105>can <00:40:03.245>you <00:40:03.384>share <00:40:03.524>a <00:40:03.665>little <00:40:03.805>bit <00:40:03.944>more <00:40:04.085>about <00:40:04.225>that?

763
00:40:05.265 --> 00:40:08.885
<00:40:05.265>And <00:40:05.464>similarly, <00:40:05.665>when <00:40:05.865>somebody <00:40:06.065>is <00:40:06.265>excited, <00:40:06.464>happy, <00:40:06.665>jumping

764
00:40:08.915 --> 00:40:11.685
<00:40:08.915>with <00:40:09.070>joy, <00:40:09.226>you <00:40:09.381>can <00:40:09.537>ask <00:40:09.692>them, <00:40:09.848>tell <00:40:10.003>me <00:40:10.159>what <00:40:10.315>happened.

765
00:40:11.685 --> 00:40:14.445
<00:40:11.685>What <00:40:11.812>is <00:40:11.939>it <00:40:12.066>so <00:40:12.194>meaningful <00:40:12.321>about <00:40:12.448>it <00:40:12.575>that <00:40:12.703>makes <00:40:12.830>you <00:40:12.957>so <00:40:13.085>happy?

766
00:40:15.565 --> 00:40:17.655
<00:40:15.565>This <00:40:15.765>is <00:40:15.965>very <00:40:16.165>important <00:40:16.365>to <00:40:16.565>build <00:40:16.765>your <00:40:16.965>influence

767
00:40:17.655 --> 00:40:18.895
<00:40:17.655>because <00:40:17.878>now <00:40:18.101>you <00:40:18.324>start <00:40:18.547>to <00:40:18.771>see

768
00:40:18.895 --> 00:40:20.735
<00:40:18.895>what <00:40:19.175>people <00:40:19.455>care <00:40:19.735>about, <00:40:20.015>what <00:40:20.295>people.

769
00:40:21.165 --> 00:40:22.255
<00:40:21.165>This <00:40:21.361>is <00:40:21.557>a <00:40:21.753>way <00:40:21.949>for <00:40:22.146>you

770
00:40:22.255 --> 00:40:25.375
<00:40:22.255>to <00:40:22.430>understand <00:40:22.605>the <00:40:22.780>different <00:40:22.955>listenings <00:40:23.130>that <00:40:23.305>different <00:40:23.480>people <00:40:23.655>have.

771
00:40:26.035 --> 00:40:29.335
<00:40:26.035>And <00:40:26.190>if <00:40:26.346>you <00:40:26.501>know <00:40:26.657>that <00:40:26.812>one <00:40:26.968>person <00:40:27.123>cares <00:40:27.279>about <00:40:27.435>architecture,

772
00:40:30.295 --> 00:40:34.035
<00:40:30.295>you <00:40:30.422>can <00:40:30.549>talk <00:40:30.676>to <00:40:30.804>him <00:40:30.931>in <00:40:31.058>a <00:40:31.185>way <00:40:31.313>that <00:40:31.440>takes <00:40:31.567>care <00:40:31.695>of

773
00:40:34.035 --> 00:40:35.475
<00:40:34.035>what <00:40:34.250>he, <00:40:34.466>he <00:40:34.683>or <00:40:34.899>she <00:40:35.115>cares <00:40:35.331>about.

774
00:40:36.135 --> 00:40:37.515
<00:40:36.135>If <00:40:36.756>you <00:40:37.377>understand

775
00:40:37.515 --> 00:40:39.395
<00:40:37.515>that <00:40:37.748>one <00:40:37.981>person <00:40:38.214>talks <00:40:38.448>about <00:40:38.681>business <00:40:38.915>growth

776
00:40:39.615 --> 00:40:43.035
<00:40:39.615>or <00:40:39.770>revenue <00:40:39.926>growth, <00:40:40.081>then <00:40:40.237>you <00:40:40.392>can <00:40:40.548>tailor <00:40:40.703>your <00:40:40.859>communication <00:40:41.015>in

777
00:40:43.035 --> 00:40:44.515
<00:40:43.035>a <00:40:43.225>way <00:40:43.415>that <00:40:43.605>it <00:40:43.796>lands <00:40:43.986>in <00:40:44.176>that <00:40:44.366>listen.

778
00:40:46.455 --> 00:40:48.195
<00:40:46.455>So <00:40:46.805>listening <00:40:47.154>for <00:40:47.505>the <00:40:47.855>emotions

779
00:40:49.325 --> 00:40:52.225
<00:40:49.325>and <00:40:49.500>understanding <00:40:49.674>what <00:40:49.850>is <00:40:50.024>it <00:40:50.200>that <00:40:50.375>they <00:40:50.549>care <00:40:50.725>about

780
00:40:52.415 --> 00:40:55.875
<00:40:52.415>that <00:40:52.570>is <00:40:52.726>causing <00:40:52.881>that <00:40:53.037>emotion <00:40:53.192>to <00:40:53.348>come <00:40:53.503>up, <00:40:53.659>allows <00:40:53.815>you

781
00:40:57.615 --> 00:40:59.115
<00:40:57.615>to <00:40:58.064>tailor <00:40:58.515>your <00:40:58.964>communication

782
00:40:59.335 --> 00:41:02.035
<00:40:59.335>and <00:40:59.510>build <00:40:59.685>influence, <00:40:59.860>which <00:41:00.035>would <00:41:00.210>not <00:41:00.385>be <00:41:00.560>possible <00:41:00.735>otherwise.

783
00:41:02.345 --> 00:41:04.155
<00:41:02.345>Otherwise, <00:41:02.578>it's, <00:41:02.811>it's <00:41:03.044>like <00:41:03.278>you <00:41:03.511>are, <00:41:03.745>you're

784
00:41:04.715 --> 00:41:06.395
<00:41:04.715>speaking <00:41:04.948>something, <00:41:05.181>but <00:41:05.415>it's <00:41:05.648>like <00:41:05.881>you <00:41:06.115>are,

785
00:41:06.495 --> 00:41:07.955
<00:41:06.495>you're <00:41:06.933>you're <00:41:07.371>playing <00:41:07.808>darts,

786
00:41:08.495 --> 00:41:10.355
<00:41:08.495>but <00:41:08.650>there <00:41:08.806>are, <00:41:08.961>there <00:41:09.117>are, <00:41:09.272>it's <00:41:09.428>in <00:41:09.583>a <00:41:09.739>dark <00:41:09.895>room,

787
00:41:10.415 --> 00:41:12.435
<00:41:10.415>so <00:41:10.555>you <00:41:10.695>do <00:41:10.835>not <00:41:10.975>even <00:41:11.115>know <00:41:11.255>where <00:41:11.395>the <00:41:11.535>dark <00:41:11.675>boot <00:41:11.815>is.

788
00:41:15.575 --> 00:41:19.075
<00:41:15.575>The <00:41:15.808>third <00:41:16.041>level <00:41:16.274>of <00:41:16.508>listening <00:41:16.741>is <00:41:16.975>listening

789
00:41:19.075 --> 00:41:21.155
<00:41:19.075>for <00:41:19.424>possibilities <00:41:19.774>that <00:41:20.125>take <00:41:20.475>care.

790
00:41:22.175 --> 00:41:23.475
<00:41:22.175>So <00:41:22.467>you <00:41:22.760>care <00:41:23.052>about <00:41:23.345>something.

791
00:41:23.685 --> 00:41:25.275
<00:41:23.685>Let's <00:41:23.918>say <00:41:24.151>you <00:41:24.384>care <00:41:24.618>about <00:41:24.851>your <00:41:25.085>promotion.

792
00:41:26.145 --> 00:41:28.235
<00:41:26.145>Your <00:41:26.345>manager <00:41:26.545>cares <00:41:26.745>about, <00:41:26.945>let's <00:41:27.145>say <00:41:27.345>business <00:41:27.545>growth.

793
00:41:28.335 --> 00:41:30.395
<00:41:28.335>So <00:41:28.535>your <00:41:28.735>manager <00:41:28.935>wants <00:41:29.135>the <00:41:29.335>business <00:41:29.535>to <00:41:29.735>grow

794
00:41:30.395 --> 00:41:31.475
<00:41:30.395>or <00:41:30.638>some <00:41:30.881>metric <00:41:31.124>to <00:41:31.366>grow.

795
00:41:32.615 --> 00:41:35.885
<00:41:32.615>Now <00:41:32.770>when <00:41:32.926>you're <00:41:33.081>talking <00:41:33.237>to <00:41:33.392>your <00:41:33.548>manager, <00:41:33.703>can <00:41:33.859>you <00:41:34.015>listen

796
00:41:36.025 --> 00:41:38.205
<00:41:36.025>for <00:41:36.375>possibilities <00:41:36.725>that <00:41:37.075>take <00:41:37.425>care

797
00:41:38.205 --> 00:41:40.405
<00:41:38.205>of <00:41:38.404>your <00:41:38.605>care <00:41:38.805>as <00:41:39.005>well <00:41:39.205>as <00:41:39.404>their <00:41:39.605>care?

798
00:41:41.905 --> 00:41:45.565
<00:41:41.905>For <00:41:42.080>example, <00:41:42.255>if <00:41:42.430>I <00:41:42.605>can <00:41:42.780>listen <00:41:42.955>for <00:41:43.130>a <00:41:43.305>possibility

799
00:41:45.595 --> 00:41:48.765
<00:41:45.595>that <00:41:45.750>I <00:41:45.906>take <00:41:46.061>on <00:41:46.217>this <00:41:46.372>project, <00:41:46.528>which <00:41:46.683>will <00:41:46.839>allow <00:41:46.995>me

800
00:41:48.985 --> 00:41:51.085
<00:41:48.985>to <00:41:49.185>grow <00:41:49.385>in <00:41:49.585>my <00:41:49.785>career, <00:41:49.985>as <00:41:50.185>well <00:41:50.385>as

801
00:41:51.635 --> 00:41:54.525
<00:41:51.635>help <00:41:51.868>the <00:41:52.101>team <00:41:52.335>improve <00:41:52.568>its <00:41:52.801>metrics, <00:41:53.035>then

802
00:41:54.525 --> 00:41:56.725
<00:41:54.525>that <00:41:54.758>will <00:41:54.991>be <00:41:55.225>an <00:41:55.458>automatic <00:41:55.691>win-win <00:41:55.925>situation.

803
00:41:57.025 --> 00:42:00.525
<00:41:57.025>So <00:41:57.152>if <00:41:57.279>I <00:41:57.406>can <00:41:57.534>learn <00:41:57.661>to <00:41:57.788>listen <00:41:57.915>for <00:41:58.043>possibilities <00:41:58.170>that <00:41:58.297>take <00:41:58.425>care

804
00:42:01.545 --> 00:42:04.565
<00:42:01.545>of <00:42:01.720>my <00:42:01.895>care <00:42:02.070>as <00:42:02.245>well <00:42:02.420>as <00:42:02.595>other <00:42:02.770>person's <00:42:02.945>care,

805
00:42:05.115 --> 00:42:09.045
<00:42:05.115>that <00:42:05.254>gives <00:42:05.395>me <00:42:05.535>a <00:42:05.674>lot <00:42:05.814>of <00:42:05.955>opportunities <00:42:06.095>to <00:42:06.234>speak <00:42:06.375>into, <00:42:06.515>which

806
00:42:09.195 --> 00:42:10.685
<00:42:09.195>otherwise <00:42:09.530>I <00:42:09.865>had <00:42:10.200>no <00:42:10.536>option.

807
00:42:15.935 --> 00:42:17.885
<00:42:15.935>Let's, <00:42:16.215>let's <00:42:16.495>tie <00:42:16.775>this <00:42:17.055>holding <00:42:17.335>up

808
00:42:18.305 --> 00:42:20.205
<00:42:18.305>and <00:42:18.654>talk <00:42:19.004>about <00:42:19.355>difficult <00:42:19.705>conversation.

809
00:42:22.475 --> 00:42:27.125
<00:42:22.475>Difficult. <00:42:22.650>When <00:42:22.825>we <00:42:23.000>put <00:42:23.174>this <00:42:23.350>word <00:42:23.525>difficult <00:42:23.700>in <00:42:23.875>front

810
00:42:27.125 --> 00:42:31.965
<00:42:27.125>of <00:42:27.358>conversations, <00:42:27.591>is <00:42:27.825>it <00:42:28.058>describing <00:42:28.291>the <00:42:28.525>conversation

811
00:42:32.665 --> 00:42:36.605
<00:42:32.665>or <00:42:32.820>is <00:42:32.976>it <00:42:33.131>describing <00:42:33.287>how <00:42:33.442>we <00:42:33.598>see <00:42:33.753>that <00:42:33.909>particular <00:42:34.065>conversation?

812
00:42:37.975 --> 00:42:40.955
<00:42:37.975>So <00:42:38.150>difficult <00:42:38.325>is <00:42:38.500>not <00:42:38.674>an <00:42:38.850>attribute <00:42:39.025>of <00:42:39.200>the <00:42:39.375>conversation.

813
00:42:40.955 --> 00:42:44.115
<00:42:40.955>Difficult <00:42:41.130>is <00:42:41.305>and <00:42:41.480>story <00:42:41.654>which <00:42:41.830>I <00:42:42.005>am <00:42:42.180>making <00:42:42.355>to

814
00:42:44.115 --> 00:42:48.595
<00:42:44.115>to <00:42:44.314>give <00:42:44.515>an <00:42:44.714>example, <00:42:44.915>I <00:42:45.115>am <00:42:45.314>having <00:42:45.515>conversations

815
00:42:48.935 --> 00:42:53.475
<00:42:48.935>all <00:42:49.090>day <00:42:49.246>these <00:42:49.401>days, <00:42:49.557>the <00:42:49.712>whole <00:42:49.868>day, <00:42:50.023>which <00:42:50.179>I <00:42:50.335>used

816
00:42:53.475 --> 00:42:57.175
<00:42:53.475>to <00:42:53.650>call <00:42:53.825>difficult <00:42:54.000>or <00:42:54.174>challenging <00:42:54.350>many, <00:42:54.525>many <00:42:54.700>years <00:42:54.875>ago.

817
00:42:58.975 --> 00:43:01.155
<00:42:58.975>So <00:42:59.208>difficulty <00:42:59.441>is <00:42:59.674>not <00:42:59.908>about <00:43:00.141>the <00:43:00.375>conversation.

818
00:43:01.155 --> 00:43:02.595
<00:43:01.155>Difficulty <00:43:01.479>is <00:43:01.803>about <00:43:02.127>my <00:43:02.451>skill.

819
00:43:02.595 --> 00:43:04.475
<00:43:02.595>Difficulty <00:43:02.944>is <00:43:03.294>about <00:43:03.645>my <00:43:03.995>ability

820
00:43:05.885 --> 00:43:08.785
<00:43:05.885>and <00:43:06.085>the <00:43:06.285>new <00:43:06.485>way, <00:43:06.685>new <00:43:06.885>a <00:43:07.085>new <00:43:07.285>story,

821
00:43:09.025 --> 00:43:11.145
<00:43:09.025>a <00:43:09.305>new <00:43:09.585>interpretation <00:43:09.865>you <00:43:10.145>can <00:43:10.425>add

822
00:43:11.565 --> 00:43:15.345
<00:43:11.565>to <00:43:11.740>a <00:43:11.915>conversation <00:43:12.090>which <00:43:12.265>might <00:43:12.440>seem <00:43:12.615>difficult <00:43:12.790>is <00:43:12.965>new

823
00:43:16.085 --> 00:43:19.225
<00:43:16.085>or <00:43:16.260>unpracticed <00:43:16.435>or <00:43:16.610>a <00:43:16.785>place <00:43:16.960>where <00:43:17.135>I <00:43:17.310>can <00:43:17.485>explore.

824
00:43:20.465 --> 00:43:22.345
<00:43:20.465>I <00:43:20.620>used <00:43:20.776>to <00:43:20.931>say <00:43:21.087>a <00:43:21.242>lot <00:43:21.398>that <00:43:21.553>I'm <00:43:21.709>not <00:43:21.865>good

825
00:43:22.345 --> 00:43:23.985
<00:43:22.345>with <00:43:22.625>business <00:43:22.904>people <00:43:23.185>and <00:43:23.464>commercial <00:43:23.745>people.

826
00:43:24.545 --> 00:43:25.665
<00:43:24.545>I <00:43:24.797>can <00:43:25.049>talk <00:43:25.301>to <00:43:25.553>techies,

827
00:43:26.205 --> 00:43:27.705
<00:43:26.205>but <00:43:26.430>I'm <00:43:26.654>not <00:43:26.880>good <00:43:27.105>with <00:43:27.330>business <00:43:27.555>people.

828
00:43:29.485 --> 00:43:31.495
<00:43:29.485>Instead <00:43:29.718>of <00:43:29.951>that, <00:43:30.185>I <00:43:30.418>started <00:43:30.651>to <00:43:30.885>say

829
00:43:31.495 --> 00:43:35.175
<00:43:31.495>that <00:43:31.622>I <00:43:31.749>just <00:43:31.876>need <00:43:32.004>more <00:43:32.131>practice <00:43:32.258>and <00:43:32.385>I <00:43:32.513>need <00:43:32.640>some <00:43:32.767>new <00:43:32.895>learning.

830
00:43:36.065 --> 00:43:39.035
<00:43:36.065>What <00:43:36.265>that <00:43:36.465>did <00:43:36.665>was <00:43:36.865>it <00:43:37.065>created <00:43:37.265>a <00:43:37.465>place

831
00:43:39.095 --> 00:43:40.435
<00:43:39.095>for <00:43:39.396>exploration <00:43:39.698>and <00:43:39.999>new <00:43:40.301>learning.

832
00:43:40.765 --> 00:43:42.355
<00:43:40.765>While <00:43:41.115>if <00:43:41.464>I <00:43:41.815>say <00:43:42.165>difficulty

833
00:43:42.535 --> 00:43:45.355
<00:43:42.535>or <00:43:42.710>I <00:43:42.884>am <00:43:43.060>not <00:43:43.234>good, <00:43:43.410>it <00:43:43.585>closes <00:43:43.759>that <00:43:43.935>space

834
00:43:45.495 --> 00:43:46.755
<00:43:45.495>for <00:43:45.778>new <00:43:46.062>learning <00:43:46.345>to <00:43:46.629>happen.

835
00:43:49.255 --> 00:43:52.905
<00:43:49.255>Now, <00:43:49.455>at <00:43:49.655>the <00:43:49.855>same <00:43:50.055>time, <00:43:50.255>as <00:43:50.455>a <00:43:50.655>techie,

836
00:43:53.325 --> 00:43:54.985
<00:43:53.325>you <00:43:53.674>have <00:43:54.024>your <00:43:54.375>certain <00:43:54.725>strengths,

837
00:43:54.985 --> 00:43:56.985
<00:43:54.985>and <00:43:55.125>this <00:43:55.265>is <00:43:55.405>true <00:43:55.545>for <00:43:55.685>me, <00:43:55.825>this <00:43:55.965>was <00:43:56.105>true <00:43:56.245>for <00:43:56.385>me

838
00:43:57.365 --> 00:43:59.665
<00:43:57.365>and <00:43:57.540>I've <00:43:57.714>seen <00:43:57.890>it <00:43:58.064>true <00:43:58.240>for <00:43:58.415>many <00:43:58.589>software <00:43:58.765>engineers.

839
00:43:59.665 --> 00:44:02.025
<00:43:59.665>So <00:43:59.792>I'm <00:43:59.919>sharing <00:44:00.046>this, <00:44:00.174>but <00:44:00.301>this <00:44:00.428>might <00:44:00.555>not <00:44:00.683>be <00:44:00.810>true <00:44:00.937>for <00:44:01.065>you.

840
00:44:04.045 --> 00:44:07.465
<00:44:04.045>One <00:44:04.200>thing <00:44:04.356>which <00:44:04.511>I <00:44:04.667>was <00:44:04.822>already <00:44:04.978>good <00:44:05.133>at <00:44:05.289>is <00:44:05.445>listening

841
00:44:07.655 --> 00:44:10.865
<00:44:07.655>because <00:44:07.888>I <00:44:08.121>was <00:44:08.355>introverted, <00:44:08.588>I <00:44:08.821>was <00:44:09.055>shy.

842
00:44:11.585 --> 00:44:14.385
<00:44:11.585>I <00:44:11.740>used <00:44:11.896>to <00:44:12.051>listen <00:44:12.207>to <00:44:12.362>not <00:44:12.518>just <00:44:12.673>what <00:44:12.829>people <00:44:12.985>say,

843
00:44:14.845 --> 00:44:16.145
<00:44:14.845>but <00:44:15.078>also <00:44:15.312>what <00:44:15.547>is <00:44:15.781>behind <00:44:16.015>that.

844
00:44:16.445 --> 00:44:18.065
<00:44:16.445>So <00:44:16.678>that <00:44:16.911>is <00:44:17.145>was <00:44:17.378>already <00:44:17.611>my <00:44:17.845>strength.

845
00:44:18.565 --> 00:44:21.145
<00:44:18.565>The <00:44:18.705>only <00:44:18.845>question <00:44:18.985>is, <00:44:19.125>am <00:44:19.265>I <00:44:19.405>too <00:44:19.545>nervous <00:44:19.685>in <00:44:19.825>a <00:44:19.965>meeting

846
00:44:21.525 --> 00:44:24.705
<00:44:21.525>to <00:44:21.725>listen <00:44:21.925>or <00:44:22.125>to <00:44:22.325>focus <00:44:22.525>on <00:44:22.725>my <00:44:22.925>nervousness?

847
00:44:25.125 --> 00:44:28.145
<00:44:25.125>So <00:44:25.300>if <00:44:25.475>I <00:44:25.650>move <00:44:25.825>my <00:44:26.000>attention <00:44:26.175>from <00:44:26.350>my <00:44:26.525>difficulty

848
00:44:28.445 --> 00:44:30.785
<00:44:28.445>of <00:44:28.678>being <00:44:28.911>in <00:44:29.145>a <00:44:29.378>conversation <00:44:29.611>to <00:44:29.845>listening,

849
00:44:30.785 --> 00:44:32.965
<00:44:30.785>then <00:44:30.924>I <00:44:31.065>can <00:44:31.205>actually <00:44:31.345>use <00:44:31.484>it <00:44:31.625>because <00:44:31.765>it <00:44:31.904>is <00:44:32.045>my <00:44:32.185>strength.

850
00:44:33.085 --> 00:44:36.995
<00:44:33.085>I <00:44:33.365>already <00:44:33.645>do <00:44:33.925>this. <00:44:34.205>Well, <00:44:34.485>Preparation,

851
00:44:37.265 --> 00:44:42.015
<00:44:37.265>another <00:44:37.498>way <00:44:37.731>to <00:44:37.964>deal <00:44:38.198>with <00:44:38.431>difficult <00:44:38.665>conversations,

852
00:44:42.015 --> 00:44:44.975
<00:44:42.015>especially <00:44:42.248>as <00:44:42.481>techies, <00:44:42.714>as <00:44:42.948>geeks, <00:44:43.181>is <00:44:43.415>preparation.

853
00:44:45.255 --> 00:44:48.215
<00:44:45.255>'cause <00:44:45.430>we <00:44:45.605>like <00:44:45.780>to <00:44:45.955>prepare <00:44:46.130>as <00:44:46.305>introverts, <00:44:46.480>as <00:44:46.655>people.

854
00:44:49.515 --> 00:44:51.295
<00:44:49.515>We <00:44:50.214>love <00:44:50.915>preparation.

855
00:44:51.295 --> 00:44:53.255
<00:44:51.295>So <00:44:51.528>we <00:44:51.761>can <00:44:51.995>prepare <00:44:52.228>about <00:44:52.461>the <00:44:52.695>meeting,

856
00:44:53.355 --> 00:44:55.615
<00:44:53.355>we <00:44:53.530>can <00:44:53.705>prepare <00:44:53.880>about <00:44:54.055>the <00:44:54.230>people <00:44:54.405>in <00:44:54.580>the <00:44:54.755>meeting.

857
00:44:56.275 --> 00:44:58.095
<00:44:56.275>We <00:44:56.450>can <00:44:56.625>look <00:44:56.800>at <00:44:56.975>our <00:44:57.150>history <00:44:57.325>with <00:44:57.500>those <00:44:57.675>people

858
00:44:58.315 --> 00:44:59.615
<00:44:58.315>and <00:44:58.607>we <00:44:58.900>can <00:44:59.192>prepare <00:44:59.484>accordingly.

859
00:44:59.995 --> 00:45:02.895
<00:44:59.995>And <00:45:00.134>if <00:45:00.275>we <00:45:00.415>know <00:45:00.555>more, <00:45:00.694>if <00:45:00.835>we <00:45:00.975>have <00:45:01.115>more <00:45:01.255>information, <00:45:01.395>then

860
00:45:02.895 --> 00:45:05.495
<00:45:02.895>what <00:45:03.011>we <00:45:03.128>have <00:45:03.245>to <00:45:03.361>say <00:45:03.478>is <00:45:03.595>going <00:45:03.711>to <00:45:03.828>land <00:45:03.945>well <00:45:04.061>with <00:45:04.178>the <00:45:04.295>people.

861
00:45:09.765 --> 00:45:11.025
<00:45:09.765>The <00:45:10.048>third <00:45:10.332>one <00:45:10.615>is <00:45:10.899>practice.

862
00:45:14.845 --> 00:45:16.825
<00:45:14.845>And <00:45:15.078>this <00:45:15.311>is, <00:45:15.544>this <00:45:15.778>is <00:45:16.011>very <00:45:16.245>powerful

863
00:45:18.015 --> 00:45:22.105
<00:45:18.015>because <00:45:18.481>difficulty <00:45:18.948>Is <00:45:19.415>not

864
00:45:22.185 --> 00:45:23.345
<00:45:22.185>a <00:45:22.446>function <00:45:22.707>of <00:45:22.968>the <00:45:23.229>conversation.

865
00:45:23.345 --> 00:45:26.465
<00:45:23.345>Difficulty <00:45:23.484>is <00:45:23.625>a <00:45:23.765>function <00:45:23.904>of <00:45:24.044>how <00:45:24.185>much <00:45:24.325>practice <00:45:24.464>do <00:45:24.605>you <00:45:24.745>have.

866
00:45:27.505 --> 00:45:31.205
<00:45:27.505>So <00:45:27.680>if <00:45:27.855>you <00:45:28.030>have <00:45:28.205>a <00:45:28.380>particular <00:45:28.555>conversation, <00:45:28.730>any <00:45:28.905>conversation,

867
00:45:31.245 --> 00:45:35.225
<00:45:31.245>hundreds <00:45:31.420>of <00:45:31.595>time, <00:45:31.770>I <00:45:31.944>bet <00:45:32.120>it'll <00:45:32.295>not <00:45:32.470>be <00:45:32.645>difficult

868
00:45:35.225 --> 00:45:37.065
<00:45:35.225>for <00:45:35.424>you <00:45:35.625>if <00:45:35.825>you <00:45:36.025>are <00:45:36.225>open <00:45:36.424>to <00:45:36.625>learning

869
00:45:37.765 --> 00:45:39.985
<00:45:37.765>and <00:45:37.998>it'll <00:45:38.231>slowly <00:45:38.464>become <00:45:38.698>easier <00:45:38.931>over <00:45:39.165>time.

870
00:45:40.645 --> 00:45:42.825
<00:45:40.645>So <00:45:40.845>one <00:45:41.045>way <00:45:41.245>we <00:45:41.445>can <00:45:41.645>prepare, <00:45:41.845>we <00:45:42.045>can

871
00:45:43.775 --> 00:45:46.355
<00:45:43.775>get <00:45:44.008>better <00:45:44.241>at <00:45:44.475>conversations <00:45:44.708>is <00:45:44.941>by <00:45:45.175>practicing.

872
00:45:47.255 --> 00:45:49.905
<00:45:47.255>This <00:45:47.430>could <00:45:47.605>be <00:45:47.780>practicing <00:45:47.955>with <00:45:48.130>my, <00:45:48.305>with <00:45:48.480>our <00:45:48.655>colleague,

873
00:45:49.935 --> 00:45:53.585
<00:45:49.935>with <00:45:50.075>somebody <00:45:50.215>in <00:45:50.355>our <00:45:50.495>family, <00:45:50.634>with <00:45:50.775>our <00:45:50.915>manager, <00:45:51.055>with <00:45:51.195>a <00:45:51.335>coach,

874
00:45:53.735 --> 00:45:57.175
<00:45:53.735>with <00:45:54.015>a <00:45:54.295>trusted <00:45:54.575>mentor, <00:45:54.855>advisor, <00:45:55.135>anybody.

875
00:45:57.595 --> 00:45:59.295
<00:45:57.595>So <00:45:57.828>you <00:45:58.061>can <00:45:58.294>go <00:45:58.528>and <00:45:58.761>ask <00:45:58.995>somebody,

876
00:45:59.455 --> 00:46:01.335
<00:45:59.455>I <00:45:59.688>have <00:45:59.921>a <00:46:00.154>difficult <00:46:00.388>conversation <00:46:00.621>coming <00:46:00.855>up.

877
00:46:01.765 --> 00:46:04.655
<00:46:01.765>This <00:46:01.904>is <00:46:02.045>what <00:46:02.185>I <00:46:02.325>want <00:46:02.464>to <00:46:02.605>say. <00:46:02.745>Can <00:46:02.884>you <00:46:03.025>role <00:46:03.165>play?

878
00:46:04.875 --> 00:46:06.215
<00:46:04.875>Can <00:46:05.116>you <00:46:05.357>practice <00:46:05.598>this <00:46:05.839>with <00:46:06.081>me?

879
00:46:06.475 --> 00:46:08.735
<00:46:06.475>And <00:46:06.582>can <00:46:06.690>you <00:46:06.798>show <00:46:06.905>me <00:46:07.013>a <00:46:07.121>better <00:46:07.228>way <00:46:07.336>to <00:46:07.444>doing <00:46:07.551>it <00:46:07.659>if <00:46:07.767>you <00:46:07.875>know?

880
00:46:09.635 --> 00:46:11.975
<00:46:09.635>So <00:46:09.985>practicing <00:46:10.335>is <00:46:10.685>one <00:46:11.035>way

881
00:46:15.515 --> 00:46:17.815
<00:46:15.515>you <00:46:15.690>can <00:46:15.865>get <00:46:16.040>better <00:46:16.214>and <00:46:16.390>you <00:46:16.565>can <00:46:16.740>leverage <00:46:16.915>a

882
00:46:17.935 --> 00:46:18.975
<00:46:17.935>strength <00:46:18.169>which <00:46:18.403>you <00:46:18.636>already <00:46:18.871>have.

883
00:46:21.905 --> 00:46:25.005
<00:46:21.905>And <00:46:22.371>again, <00:46:22.838>bringing <00:46:23.305>curiosity

884
00:46:25.505 --> 00:46:28.445
<00:46:25.505>and <00:46:25.705>listening <00:46:25.905>rather <00:46:26.105>than <00:46:26.305>of, <00:46:26.505>rather <00:46:26.705>than <00:46:26.905>heaviness.

885
00:46:28.445 --> 00:46:29.765
<00:46:28.445>Like, <00:46:28.643>I <00:46:28.841>have <00:46:29.039>to <00:46:29.237>get <00:46:29.435>this <00:46:29.633>right.

886
00:46:29.835 --> 00:46:33.805
<00:46:29.835>This <00:46:29.951>is <00:46:30.068>a <00:46:30.185>crucial <00:46:30.301>conversation. <00:46:30.418>I <00:46:30.535>do <00:46:30.651>not <00:46:30.768>want <00:46:30.885>to <00:46:31.001>mess <00:46:31.118>it <00:46:31.235>up.

887
00:46:38.525 --> 00:46:41.295
<00:46:38.525>That <00:46:38.758>heaviness <00:46:38.991>makes <00:46:39.225>it <00:46:39.458>difficult <00:46:39.691>to <00:46:39.925>learn.

888
00:46:42.045 --> 00:46:45.495
<00:46:42.045>Instead <00:46:42.220>of <00:46:42.395>you <00:46:42.570>bring <00:46:42.745>it <00:46:42.920>with <00:46:43.095>openness <00:46:43.270>and <00:46:43.445>curiosity

889
00:46:46.195 --> 00:46:49.695
<00:46:46.195>and <00:46:46.335>you <00:46:46.475>focus <00:46:46.615>on <00:46:46.755>listening <00:46:46.895>on <00:46:47.035>what <00:46:47.175>is <00:46:47.315>happening <00:46:47.455>around <00:46:47.595>you,

890
00:46:50.395 --> 00:46:51.415
<00:46:50.395>not <00:46:50.701>what <00:46:51.007>you're <00:46:51.313>speaking,

891
00:46:51.515 --> 00:46:53.175
<00:46:51.515>but <00:46:51.748>how <00:46:51.981>others <00:46:52.214>are <00:46:52.448>listening <00:46:52.681>to <00:46:52.915>you.

892
00:46:53.995 --> 00:46:55.775
<00:46:53.995>You <00:46:54.275>can <00:46:54.555>actually <00:46:54.835>learn <00:46:55.115>a <00:46:55.395>lot,

893
00:46:56.235 --> 00:46:58.815
<00:46:56.235>but <00:46:56.362>you <00:46:56.489>can <00:46:56.616>learn <00:46:56.744>all <00:46:56.871>of <00:46:56.998>that <00:46:57.125>if <00:46:57.253>you <00:46:57.380>create <00:46:57.507>that <00:46:57.635>mood

894
00:46:58.815 --> 00:47:00.215
<00:46:58.815>of <00:46:59.235>openness <00:46:59.655>and <00:47:00.075>curiosity.

895
00:47:02.685 --> 00:47:05.185
<00:47:02.685>And <00:47:02.918>if <00:47:03.151>you're <00:47:03.384>speaking, <00:47:03.618>you're <00:47:03.851>speaking <00:47:04.085>not

896
00:47:05.185 --> 00:47:07.145
<00:47:05.185>to <00:47:05.535>prove <00:47:05.884>yourself, <00:47:06.235>you're <00:47:06.585>speaking

897
00:47:07.245 --> 00:47:08.625
<00:47:07.245>to <00:47:07.555>understand <00:47:07.866>the <00:47:08.176>other <00:47:08.487>person.

898
00:47:08.805 --> 00:47:10.785
<00:47:08.805>That's <00:47:09.085>what <00:47:09.365>focusing <00:47:09.645>on <00:47:09.924>listening <00:47:10.205>means.

899
00:47:11.405 --> 00:47:12.465
<00:47:11.405>You <00:47:11.723>are <00:47:12.041>focusing <00:47:12.359>on

900
00:47:12.645 --> 00:47:15.105
<00:47:12.645>how <00:47:12.820>the <00:47:12.995>other <00:47:13.170>person <00:47:13.345>is <00:47:13.520>making <00:47:13.695>sense <00:47:13.870>of <00:47:14.045>you.

901
00:47:16.225 --> 00:47:18.125
<00:47:16.225>And <00:47:16.458>then <00:47:16.691>the <00:47:16.924>third <00:47:17.158>level <00:47:17.391>of <00:47:17.625>listening,

902
00:47:18.125 --> 00:47:19.405
<00:47:18.125>which <00:47:18.413>was <00:47:18.701>to <00:47:18.989>create <00:47:19.277>possibilities.

903
00:47:19.625 --> 00:47:23.565
<00:47:19.625>So <00:47:19.780>you <00:47:19.936>focus <00:47:20.091>on <00:47:20.247>listening <00:47:20.402>for <00:47:20.558>possibilities <00:47:20.713>that <00:47:20.869>take <00:47:21.025>care.

904
00:47:25.875 --> 00:47:28.195
<00:47:25.875>A <00:47:26.108>very <00:47:26.341>practical <00:47:26.575>tip <00:47:26.808>if <00:47:27.041>you <00:47:27.275>see

905
00:47:29.365 --> 00:47:31.445
<00:47:29.365>yourself <00:47:29.645>losing <00:47:29.924>your <00:47:30.205>attention <00:47:30.484>or <00:47:30.765>listening

906
00:47:31.985 --> 00:47:35.445
<00:47:31.985>and <00:47:32.160>getting <00:47:32.335>anxious, <00:47:32.510>is <00:47:32.685>to <00:47:32.860>focus <00:47:33.035>on <00:47:33.210>your <00:47:33.385>breathing

907
00:47:35.625 --> 00:47:36.765
<00:47:35.625>and <00:47:35.881>taking <00:47:36.138>a <00:47:36.394>deep <00:47:36.651>breath.

908
00:47:36.945 --> 00:47:40.685
<00:47:36.945>And <00:47:37.085>you <00:47:37.225>can <00:47:37.365>do <00:47:37.505>this <00:47:37.645>in <00:47:37.785>any <00:47:37.925>meeting, <00:47:38.065>in <00:47:38.205>any <00:47:38.345>conversation,

909
00:47:40.865 --> 00:47:42.485
<00:47:40.865>you <00:47:41.098>can <00:47:41.331>just <00:47:41.564>take <00:47:41.798>a <00:47:42.031>deep <00:47:42.265>breath

910
00:47:45.975 --> 00:47:48.555
<00:47:45.975>and <00:47:46.255>that <00:47:46.535>allows <00:47:46.815>you, <00:47:47.095>that <00:47:47.375>space

911
00:47:49.565 --> 00:47:52.345
<00:47:49.565>to <00:47:49.765>refocus <00:47:49.965>your <00:47:50.165>attention <00:47:50.365>from <00:47:50.565>wherever <00:47:50.765>it <00:47:50.965>is,

912
00:47:52.345 --> 00:47:53.985
<00:47:52.345>from <00:47:52.694>whichever <00:47:53.044>story <00:47:53.395>it <00:47:53.745>is

913
00:47:55.795 --> 00:47:57.525
<00:47:55.795>back <00:47:56.145>onto <00:47:56.495>your <00:47:56.845>listening <00:47:57.195>onto

914
00:47:57.665 --> 00:47:59.125
<00:47:57.665>how <00:47:57.852>the <00:47:58.040>other <00:47:58.228>people <00:47:58.415>are <00:47:58.603>listening <00:47:58.791>to <00:47:58.979>you.

915
00:47:59.185 --> 00:48:00.605
<00:47:59.185>And <00:47:59.440>this <00:47:59.696>is <00:47:59.951>very <00:48:00.207>powerful <00:48:00.463>people.

916
00:48:04.355 --> 00:48:08.845
<00:48:04.355>So <00:48:04.495>these, <00:48:04.635>these <00:48:04.775>were <00:48:04.915>the <00:48:05.055>four <00:48:05.195>points, <00:48:05.335>these <00:48:05.475>were <00:48:05.615>the <00:48:05.755>four

917
00:48:10.415 --> 00:48:13.705
<00:48:10.415>biggest, <00:48:10.615>four <00:48:10.815>of <00:48:11.015>my <00:48:11.215>biggest <00:48:11.415>learnings <00:48:11.615>around <00:48:11.815>communication,

918
00:48:13.705 --> 00:48:15.025
<00:48:13.705>which <00:48:13.903>I <00:48:14.101>have <00:48:14.299>learned <00:48:14.497>the <00:48:14.695>hard <00:48:14.893>way.

919
00:48:16.505 --> 00:48:17.705
<00:48:16.505>I <00:48:16.775>also <00:48:17.045>write <00:48:17.315>a <00:48:17.585>lot.

920
00:48:18.125 --> 00:48:19.985
<00:48:18.125>So <00:48:18.325>I <00:48:18.525>have, <00:48:18.725>I <00:48:18.925>have <00:48:19.125>created <00:48:19.325>a <00:48:19.525>lot

921
00:48:19.985 --> 00:48:23.465
<00:48:19.985>of <00:48:20.160>written <00:48:20.335>material <00:48:20.510>also <00:48:20.685>like <00:48:20.860>articles <00:48:21.035>and, <00:48:21.210>and <00:48:21.385>reports.

922
00:48:24.205 --> 00:48:27.625
<00:48:24.205>And, <00:48:24.332>um, <00:48:24.459>um, <00:48:24.586>I'm <00:48:24.714>also <00:48:24.841>putting <00:48:24.968>that <00:48:25.095>at <00:48:25.223>the, <00:48:25.350>at <00:48:25.477>the <00:48:25.605>end

923
00:48:27.625 --> 00:48:29.585
<00:48:27.625>of <00:48:27.858>this, <00:48:28.091>this <00:48:28.325>conversation, <00:48:28.558>which <00:48:28.791>you <00:48:29.025>can,

924
00:48:29.665 --> 00:48:31.825
<00:48:29.665>which <00:48:30.015>you <00:48:30.365>can <00:48:30.715>download <00:48:31.065>separately.

925
00:48:33.995 --> 00:48:35.815
<00:48:33.995>And <00:48:35.395>yeah.

926
00:48:36.075 --> 00:48:39.175
<00:48:36.075>So <00:48:36.274>Vincent, <00:48:36.475>do <00:48:36.674>we, <00:48:36.875>do <00:48:37.075>we <00:48:37.274>have <00:48:37.475>any,

927
00:48:39.235 --> 00:48:41.295
<00:48:39.235>any <00:48:39.701>questions <00:48:40.168>right <00:48:40.635>now?

928
00:49:04.285 --> 00:49:06.835
<00:49:04.285>These <00:49:04.440>are <00:49:04.596>some <00:49:04.751>more, <00:49:04.907>some <00:49:05.062>more <00:49:05.218>articles, <00:49:05.373>which <00:49:05.529>I <00:49:05.685>have.

929
00:49:10.485 --> 00:49:10.705
Yes,

930
00:49:15.405 --> 00:49:16.505
<00:49:15.405>you're <00:49:15.900>you're <00:49:16.395>muted.

931
00:49:19.455 --> 00:49:22.645
<00:49:19.455>Sorry <00:49:19.654>for <00:49:19.855>that. <00:49:20.055>Um, <00:49:20.255>what <00:49:20.455>an <00:49:20.654>impressive <00:49:20.855>session.

932
00:49:22.735 --> 00:49:25.925
<00:49:22.735>Thank <00:49:22.851>you <00:49:22.968>so <00:49:23.085>much. <00:49:23.201>Um, <00:49:23.318>I <00:49:23.435>think <00:49:23.551>before <00:49:23.668>we <00:49:23.785>kick <00:49:23.901>off <00:49:24.018>the <00:49:24.135>q

933
00:49:25.925 --> 00:49:27.285
<00:49:25.925>and <00:49:26.169>a, <00:49:26.414>um, <00:49:26.659>I <00:49:26.904>would <00:49:27.149>like

934
00:49:27.285 --> 00:49:29.165
<00:49:27.285>to <00:49:27.484>ask <00:49:27.685>you <00:49:27.884>one <00:49:28.085>question <00:49:28.285>from <00:49:28.484>my <00:49:28.685>side.

935
00:49:29.785 --> 00:49:31.605
<00:49:29.785>Um, <00:49:29.984>sure. <00:49:30.185>How <00:49:30.384>did <00:49:30.585>your <00:49:30.785>tech <00:49:30.984>career <00:49:31.185>start?

936
00:49:33.615 --> 00:49:37.735
<00:49:33.615>I <00:49:33.790>started, <00:49:33.964>uh, <00:49:34.140>with <00:49:34.314>a <00:49:34.490>deep <00:49:34.665>passion <00:49:34.839>about <00:49:35.015>computers

937
00:49:37.735 --> 00:49:39.935
<00:49:37.735>and <00:49:37.935>programming, <00:49:38.135>and <00:49:38.335>as <00:49:38.535>I, <00:49:38.735>as <00:49:38.935>I <00:49:39.135>shared,

938
00:49:40.015 --> 00:49:41.895
<00:49:40.015>I <00:49:40.295>have <00:49:40.575>been <00:49:40.855>programming <00:49:41.134>since <00:49:41.415>1996,

939
00:49:42.515 --> 00:49:44.895
<00:49:42.515>and <00:49:42.748>that <00:49:42.981>was <00:49:43.214>the <00:49:43.448>time <00:49:43.681>when <00:49:43.915>the

940
00:49:45.055 --> 00:49:46.495
<00:49:45.055>computer <00:49:45.379>craze <00:49:45.703>was <00:49:46.027>picking <00:49:46.350>up.

941
00:49:47.295 --> 00:49:48.295
<00:49:47.295>Internet <00:49:47.595>was <00:49:47.895>very <00:49:48.195>new.

942
00:49:49.475 --> 00:49:52.655
<00:49:49.475>And <00:49:49.674>as <00:49:49.875>an <00:49:50.075>introverted, <00:49:50.275>as <00:49:50.475>a <00:49:50.674>shy <00:49:50.875>person,

943
00:49:52.805 --> 00:49:55.895
<00:49:52.805>that <00:49:52.944>was <00:49:53.085>something <00:49:53.225>which <00:49:53.365>I <00:49:53.504>felt <00:49:53.645>like <00:49:53.785>I <00:49:53.924>was <00:49:54.065>good <00:49:54.205>at.

944
00:49:55.895 --> 00:49:58.295
<00:49:55.895>Like <00:49:56.128>I <00:49:56.361>could, <00:49:56.595>I <00:49:56.828>could <00:49:57.061>press <00:49:57.295>buttons

945
00:49:58.435 --> 00:50:01.095
<00:49:58.435>and <00:49:58.575>I <00:49:58.715>could <00:49:58.855>see <00:49:58.995>magic <00:49:59.134>happening <00:49:59.275>on <00:49:59.415>the, <00:49:59.555>on <00:49:59.695>the <00:49:59.835>computer.

946
00:50:01.595 --> 00:50:03.415
<00:50:01.595>So <00:50:01.770>it, <00:50:01.944>it <00:50:02.120>gave <00:50:02.294>me <00:50:02.470>a <00:50:02.645>sense <00:50:02.819>of <00:50:02.995>control

947
00:50:03.915 --> 00:50:07.335
<00:50:03.915>and <00:50:04.070>I <00:50:04.226>really <00:50:04.381>enjoyed <00:50:04.537>going <00:50:04.692>deep <00:50:04.848>into <00:50:05.003>that <00:50:05.159>space <00:50:05.315>of

948
00:50:07.935 --> 00:50:09.975
<00:50:07.935>computers, <00:50:08.634>software, <00:50:09.335>uh,

949
00:50:10.075 --> 00:50:11.255
<00:50:10.075>and <00:50:10.340>that's <00:50:10.606>how <00:50:10.871>I, <00:50:11.137>I,

950
00:50:11.415 --> 00:50:13.295
<00:50:11.415>I <00:50:11.570>think <00:50:11.726>I <00:50:11.881>was <00:50:12.037>back <00:50:12.192>in <00:50:12.348>school <00:50:12.503>when <00:50:12.659>I <00:50:12.815>knew

951
00:50:13.295 --> 00:50:15.015
<00:50:13.295>that <00:50:13.495>this <00:50:13.695>would <00:50:13.895>be <00:50:14.095>a <00:50:14.295>career <00:50:14.495>for <00:50:14.695>me.

952
00:50:15.215 --> 00:50:16.375
<00:50:15.215>I <00:50:15.423>was <00:50:15.632>very <00:50:15.841>clear <00:50:16.050>about <00:50:16.259>that.

953
00:50:17.245 --> 00:50:17.935
<00:50:17.245>That <00:50:17.555>sounds <00:50:17.866>amazing.

954
00:50:18.035 --> 00:50:19.375
<00:50:18.035>That's, <00:50:18.276>that's <00:50:18.517>how <00:50:18.758>it <00:50:18.999>started. <00:50:19.241>Yes.

955
00:50:19.445 --> 00:50:20.855
<00:50:19.445>Perfect. <00:50:19.868>That <00:50:20.291>sounds <00:50:20.714>amazing.

956
00:50:21.055 --> 00:50:22.135
<00:50:21.055>I <00:50:21.379>think, <00:50:21.703>uh, <00:50:22.027>most

957
00:50:22.135 --> 00:50:24.335
<00:50:22.135>of <00:50:22.335>the <00:50:22.535>developers <00:50:22.735>think <00:50:22.935>maybe <00:50:23.135>the <00:50:23.335>same <00:50:23.535>way,

958
00:50:24.595 --> 00:50:26.575
<00:50:24.595>and <00:50:24.875>yeah, <00:50:25.154>it's <00:50:25.435>a <00:50:25.714>good <00:50:25.995>answer.

959
00:50:26.575 --> 00:50:30.605
<00:50:26.575>Thank <00:50:26.702>you <00:50:26.829>for, <00:50:26.956>for <00:50:27.084>that. <00:50:27.211>So <00:50:27.338>I <00:50:27.465>think, <00:50:27.593>um, <00:50:27.720>now <00:50:27.847>it's <00:50:27.975>time

960
00:50:30.605 --> 00:50:32.725
<00:50:30.605>to <00:50:30.805>an <00:50:31.005>answer <00:50:31.205>some <00:50:31.405>questions <00:50:31.605>from <00:50:31.805>the <00:50:32.005>community.

961
00:50:32.825 --> 00:50:36.075
<00:50:32.825>So <00:50:33.105>let's <00:50:33.384>see. <00:50:33.665>Sure. <00:50:33.944>Um, <00:50:34.225>perfect.

962
00:50:37.095 --> 00:50:40.675
<00:50:37.095>So <00:50:37.222>I <00:50:37.349>got <00:50:37.476>two <00:50:37.604>questions <00:50:37.731>from <00:50:37.858>Nick. <00:50:37.985>Let's <00:50:38.113>take <00:50:38.240>the <00:50:38.367>first <00:50:38.495>one.

963
00:50:40.895 --> 00:50:44.635
<00:50:40.895>Uh, <00:50:41.035>as <00:50:41.175>a <00:50:41.315>manager, <00:50:41.455>how <00:50:41.595>would <00:50:41.735>you <00:50:41.875>adapt <00:50:42.015>a <00:50:42.155>win-win <00:50:42.295>scenario

964
00:50:44.945 --> 00:50:48.035
<00:50:44.945>with <00:50:45.178>an <00:50:45.411>ambitious <00:50:45.645>employee <00:50:45.878>who <00:50:46.111>may <00:50:46.345>create

965
00:50:48.535 --> 00:50:52.915
<00:50:48.535>for <00:50:48.710>you <00:50:48.884>potential <00:50:49.060>insecurities <00:50:49.234>about <00:50:49.410>your <00:50:49.585>own <00:50:49.759>role, <00:50:49.935>um,

966
00:50:53.295 --> 00:50:54.435
<00:50:53.295>by <00:50:53.637>the <00:50:53.979>ambitious <00:50:54.321>nature?

967
00:50:56.375 --> 00:50:58.715
<00:50:56.375>Yes. <00:50:56.608>So <00:50:56.841>very, <00:50:57.075>very <00:50:57.308>good <00:50:57.541>question, <00:50:57.775>Nick.

968
00:51:00.235 --> 00:51:03.955
<00:51:00.235>I <00:51:00.362>think, <00:51:00.489>I <00:51:00.616>think <00:51:00.744>you <00:51:00.871>are <00:51:00.998>already, <00:51:01.125>uh, <00:51:01.253>getting <00:51:01.380>a <00:51:01.507>bit <00:51:01.635>deeper.

969
00:51:04.055 --> 00:51:06.875
<00:51:04.055>You're <00:51:04.254>listening <00:51:04.455>to <00:51:04.654>your <00:51:04.855>own <00:51:05.055>insecurities <00:51:05.254>here, <00:51:05.455>right?

970
00:51:06.935 --> 00:51:09.755
<00:51:06.935>And <00:51:07.110>I <00:51:07.285>want <00:51:07.460>to <00:51:07.634>acknowledge, <00:51:07.810>so <00:51:07.985>rather <00:51:08.160>than <00:51:08.335>saying

971
00:51:09.755 --> 00:51:12.795
<00:51:09.755>that <00:51:09.955>I <00:51:10.155>am <00:51:10.355>threatened <00:51:10.555>by <00:51:10.755>an <00:51:10.955>ambitious <00:51:11.155>employee,

972
00:51:12.935 --> 00:51:16.275
<00:51:12.935>you're <00:51:13.090>saying, <00:51:13.246>how <00:51:13.401>can <00:51:13.557>I <00:51:13.712>deal <00:51:13.868>with <00:51:14.023>my <00:51:14.179>own <00:51:14.335>insecurity,

973
00:51:16.925 --> 00:51:19.315
<00:51:16.925>which <00:51:17.065>might <00:51:17.205>happen <00:51:17.345>as, <00:51:17.485>as <00:51:17.625>a <00:51:17.765>result <00:51:17.905>of <00:51:18.045>an <00:51:18.185>ambitious <00:51:18.325>person?

974
00:51:20.215 --> 00:51:24.515
<00:51:20.215>So <00:51:20.342>first <00:51:20.469>of <00:51:20.596>all, <00:51:20.724>I <00:51:20.851>want <00:51:20.978>to <00:51:21.105>acknowledge <00:51:21.233>you <00:51:21.360>on <00:51:21.487>listening <00:51:21.615>to

975
00:51:24.515 --> 00:51:27.755
<00:51:24.515>what, <00:51:24.690>what <00:51:24.865>what <00:51:25.040>is <00:51:25.214>happening <00:51:25.390>inside <00:51:25.565>of <00:51:25.740>you, <00:51:25.915>right?

976
00:51:27.815 --> 00:51:32.025
<00:51:27.815>And <00:51:28.015>then <00:51:28.215>what <00:51:28.415>I <00:51:28.615>would <00:51:28.815>suggest <00:51:29.015>is <00:51:29.215>understand

977
00:51:32.315 --> 00:51:35.785
<00:51:32.315>where <00:51:32.515>the <00:51:32.715>other <00:51:32.915>person <00:51:33.115>is <00:51:33.315>coming <00:51:33.515>from, <00:51:33.715>listen

978
00:51:35.805 --> 00:51:37.505
<00:51:35.805>to <00:51:36.004>the <00:51:36.205>other <00:51:36.404>person <00:51:36.605>and <00:51:36.805>listen <00:51:37.004>what <00:51:37.205>is

979
00:51:37.505 --> 00:51:38.505
<00:51:37.505>behind <00:51:37.955>their <00:51:38.405>ambition.

980
00:51:40.085 --> 00:51:44.585
<00:51:40.085>And <00:51:40.225>then <00:51:40.365>map, <00:51:40.505>map <00:51:40.645>that <00:51:40.785>to <00:51:40.925>the <00:51:41.065>team's <00:51:41.205>goals, <00:51:41.345>which <00:51:41.485>are,

981
00:51:44.585 --> 00:51:46.225
<00:51:44.585>which <00:51:44.818>are <00:51:45.051>your <00:51:45.285>goals, <00:51:45.518>which <00:51:45.751>are <00:51:45.985>your

982
00:51:46.865 --> 00:51:47.905
<00:51:46.865>outcomes, <00:51:47.176>which <00:51:47.489>are <00:51:47.801>promised.

983
00:51:48.525 --> 00:51:51.385
<00:51:48.525>And <00:51:48.680>if, <00:51:48.836>if <00:51:48.991>you <00:51:49.147>can <00:51:49.302>create <00:51:49.458>opportunities <00:51:49.613>for <00:51:49.769>this <00:51:49.925>person,

984
00:51:52.085 --> 00:51:55.025
<00:51:52.085>if <00:51:52.225>you <00:51:52.365>can <00:51:52.505>create <00:51:52.645>opportunities <00:51:52.785>for <00:51:52.925>this <00:51:53.065>person <00:51:53.205>to <00:51:53.345>take <00:51:53.485>care

985
00:51:55.025 --> 00:51:59.735
<00:51:55.025>of <00:51:55.180>their <00:51:55.336>ambition <00:51:55.491>and <00:51:55.647>allowing <00:51:55.802>them <00:51:55.958>to <00:51:56.113>prosper <00:51:56.269>as <00:51:56.425>a,

986
00:51:59.755 --> 00:52:01.695
<00:51:59.755>as <00:52:00.035>a <00:52:00.315>manager, <00:52:00.595>you <00:52:00.875>will <00:52:01.155>grow.

987
00:52:02.005 --> 00:52:03.615
<00:52:02.005>Like, <00:52:02.285>if, <00:52:02.565>if <00:52:02.845>this <00:52:03.125>person <00:52:03.405>grows

988
00:52:03.615 --> 00:52:07.005
<00:52:03.615>and <00:52:03.814>does <00:52:04.015>well, <00:52:04.214>your <00:52:04.415>team <00:52:04.615>will <00:52:04.814>do <00:52:05.015>better,

989
00:52:07.545 --> 00:52:10.165
<00:52:07.545>and <00:52:07.720>then <00:52:07.895>there <00:52:08.070>is <00:52:08.245>no <00:52:08.420>way <00:52:08.595>you <00:52:08.770>will <00:52:08.945>actually,

990
00:52:10.295 --> 00:52:12.205
<00:52:10.295>there <00:52:10.470>is <00:52:10.645>no <00:52:10.820>reason <00:52:10.995>for <00:52:11.170>you <00:52:11.345>to <00:52:11.520>be <00:52:11.695>insecure.

991
00:52:13.615 --> 00:52:16.755
<00:52:13.615>So <00:52:13.754>what <00:52:13.895>I <00:52:14.035>would <00:52:14.174>like <00:52:14.314>to <00:52:14.455>challenge <00:52:14.595>that <00:52:14.734>insecurity, <00:52:14.875>in <00:52:15.015>fact,

992
00:52:17.115 --> 00:52:20.995
<00:52:17.115>I <00:52:17.314>would <00:52:17.515>actually <00:52:17.714>want <00:52:17.915>you <00:52:18.115>to <00:52:18.314>invite <00:52:18.515>you

993
00:52:21.175 --> 00:52:23.835
<00:52:21.175>to <00:52:21.330>create <00:52:21.486>a <00:52:21.641>new <00:52:21.797>story <00:52:21.952>of <00:52:22.108>collaboration <00:52:22.263>with <00:52:22.419>this <00:52:22.575>person.

994
00:52:25.215 --> 00:52:28.075
<00:52:25.215>How <00:52:25.370>can <00:52:25.526>you <00:52:25.681>work <00:52:25.837>with <00:52:25.992>this <00:52:26.148>person <00:52:26.303>as <00:52:26.459>a <00:52:26.615>collaborator

995
00:52:28.775 --> 00:52:31.435
<00:52:28.775>and <00:52:28.975>create <00:52:29.175>opportunities <00:52:29.375>not <00:52:29.575>just <00:52:29.775>for <00:52:29.975>this <00:52:30.175>person

996
00:52:31.495 --> 00:52:33.515
<00:52:31.495>and <00:52:31.670>your <00:52:31.845>team <00:52:32.020>to <00:52:32.194>grow, <00:52:32.370>but <00:52:32.545>as <00:52:32.720>a <00:52:32.895>result

997
00:52:33.535 --> 00:52:34.595
<00:52:33.535>for <00:52:33.773>your <00:52:34.011>growth <00:52:34.250>as <00:52:34.488>well.

998
00:52:35.555 --> 00:52:37.775
<00:52:35.555>So <00:52:35.710>that, <00:52:35.866>that's <00:52:36.021>how <00:52:36.177>I <00:52:36.332>would, <00:52:36.488>I <00:52:36.643>would <00:52:36.799>answer <00:52:36.955>that.

999
00:52:39.345 --> 00:52:43.195
<00:52:39.345>Perfect. <00:52:39.694>Thanks. <00:52:40.044>Um, <00:52:40.395>let's <00:52:40.745>see.

1000
00:52:43.535 --> 00:52:47.185
<00:52:43.535>Um, <00:52:44.001>there <00:52:44.468>is <00:52:44.935>another

1001
00:52:47.585 --> 00:52:48.745
<00:52:47.585>question <00:52:47.933>also <00:52:48.281>from <00:52:48.629>Nick.

1002
00:52:49.005 --> 00:52:51.705
<00:52:49.005>Um, <00:52:49.205>as <00:52:49.405>an <00:52:49.605>employee, <00:52:49.805>how <00:52:50.005>would <00:52:50.205>you <00:52:50.405>adapt

1003
00:52:52.125 --> 00:52:56.145
<00:52:52.125>to <00:52:52.325>a <00:52:52.525>manager <00:52:52.725>interpreting <00:52:52.925>your <00:52:53.125>ambition <00:52:53.325>as <00:52:53.525>arrogance,

1004
00:52:56.145 --> 00:52:58.225
<00:52:56.145>perhaps, <00:52:56.611>uh, <00:52:57.078>perhaps, <00:52:57.545>uh,

1005
00:52:58.455 --> 00:53:01.745
<00:52:58.455>defense <00:52:58.735>mechanism <00:52:59.015>against <00:52:59.295>their <00:52:59.575>own <00:52:59.855>insecurities?

1006
00:53:03.205 --> 00:53:06.145
<00:53:03.205>Yes. <00:53:03.555>So <00:53:03.904>first <00:53:04.255>of <00:53:04.605>all,

1007
00:53:10.745 --> 00:53:14.275
<00:53:10.745>What, <00:53:11.025>what <00:53:11.305>you <00:53:11.585>are <00:53:11.865>sharing <00:53:12.145>is

1008
00:53:14.375 --> 00:53:17.315
<00:53:14.375>how <00:53:14.575>you <00:53:14.775>are <00:53:14.975>interpreting <00:53:15.175>something <00:53:15.375>which <00:53:15.575>the <00:53:15.775>manager

1009
00:53:17.415 --> 00:53:19.475
<00:53:17.415>did, <00:53:18.815>right?

1010
00:53:19.475 --> 00:53:21.795
<00:53:19.475>So <00:53:19.650>if <00:53:19.825>you're <00:53:20.000>ambitious <00:53:20.174>and <00:53:20.350>your <00:53:20.525>manager <00:53:20.700>sees <00:53:20.875>that

1011
00:53:21.895 --> 00:53:25.845
<00:53:21.895>as <00:53:22.128>arrogant, <00:53:22.361>you're <00:53:22.595>interpreting <00:53:22.828>what <00:53:23.061>the <00:53:23.295>manager

1012
00:53:26.985 --> 00:53:31.085
<00:53:26.985>is <00:53:27.185>doing <00:53:27.385>in <00:53:27.585>their <00:53:27.785>behavior <00:53:27.985>as <00:53:28.185>their <00:53:28.385>insecurity.

1013
00:53:31.425 --> 00:53:33.565
<00:53:31.425>It <00:53:31.625>might <00:53:31.825>not <00:53:32.025>be <00:53:32.225>fully <00:53:32.425>aware <00:53:32.625>to <00:53:32.825>you

1014
00:53:33.825 --> 00:53:36.725
<00:53:33.825>unless <00:53:33.964>they <00:53:34.105>have <00:53:34.245>told <00:53:34.384>you <00:53:34.524>that <00:53:34.665>like <00:53:34.805>this <00:53:34.944>is, <00:53:35.085>uh, <00:53:35.225>like,

1015
00:53:36.765 --> 00:53:39.765
<00:53:36.765>I <00:53:36.940>don't <00:53:37.115>like <00:53:37.290>ambitious <00:53:37.464>people <00:53:37.640>because <00:53:37.815>of <00:53:37.990>whatever <00:53:38.165>history.

1016
00:53:40.345 --> 00:53:45.305
<00:53:40.345>So <00:53:40.500>first <00:53:40.656>of <00:53:40.811>all, <00:53:40.967>getting, <00:53:41.122>get <00:53:41.278>aware <00:53:41.433>of <00:53:41.589>that <00:53:41.745>and,

1017
00:53:45.445 --> 00:53:49.435
<00:53:45.445>and <00:53:45.725>secondly, <00:53:46.005>engage <00:53:46.285>into <00:53:46.565>a <00:53:46.845>conversation

1018
00:53:50.345 --> 00:53:53.195
<00:53:50.345>with <00:53:50.625>that <00:53:50.904>manager <00:53:51.185>and <00:53:51.464>ask <00:53:51.745>this

1019
00:53:53.195 --> 00:53:54.355
<00:53:53.195>person, <00:53:53.369>how <00:53:53.543>do <00:53:53.717>you <00:53:53.891>like <00:53:54.065>to <00:53:54.239>work?

1020
00:53:55.545 --> 00:53:57.965
<00:53:55.545>And <00:53:55.700>also <00:53:55.856>share <00:53:56.011>about <00:53:56.167>how <00:53:56.322>do <00:53:56.478>you <00:53:56.633>like <00:53:56.789>to <00:53:56.945>work?

1021
00:53:58.865 --> 00:54:00.325
<00:53:58.865>Ask <00:53:59.193>them <00:53:59.522>about <00:53:59.850>their <00:54:00.178>preferences.

1022
00:54:00.905 --> 00:54:02.605
<00:54:00.905>And <00:54:01.080>then <00:54:01.255>when <00:54:01.430>you <00:54:01.605>ask <00:54:01.780>them, <00:54:01.955>then <00:54:02.130>you <00:54:02.305>listen

1023
00:54:02.665 --> 00:54:03.965
<00:54:02.665>to <00:54:03.250>their <00:54:03.835>emotions.

1024
00:54:04.065 --> 00:54:05.525
<00:54:04.065>You <00:54:04.284>listen <00:54:04.503>to <00:54:04.722>what <00:54:04.941>is <00:54:05.160>coming <00:54:05.379>up.

1025
00:54:05.985 --> 00:54:08.325
<00:54:05.985>So <00:54:06.218>if <00:54:06.451>your <00:54:06.685>ambition <00:54:06.918>is <00:54:07.151>creating <00:54:07.385>frustration

1026
00:54:08.345 --> 00:54:11.085
<00:54:08.345>or <00:54:08.578>some <00:54:08.811>resistance <00:54:09.044>for <00:54:09.278>them, <00:54:09.511>then <00:54:09.745>you

1027
00:54:11.705 --> 00:54:13.925
<00:54:11.705>do <00:54:11.880>not <00:54:12.055>just <00:54:12.230>go <00:54:12.404>on <00:54:12.580>on <00:54:12.755>your <00:54:12.930>ambitious <00:54:13.105>role.

1028
00:54:14.305 --> 00:54:16.845
<00:54:14.305>You <00:54:14.504>stop <00:54:14.705>there <00:54:14.904>and <00:54:15.105>you <00:54:15.305>address <00:54:15.504>that <00:54:15.705>emotion.

1029
00:54:16.845 --> 00:54:21.265
<00:54:16.845>Because <00:54:17.000>if <00:54:17.156>there <00:54:17.311>is <00:54:17.467>no <00:54:17.622>listening <00:54:17.778>for <00:54:17.933>your <00:54:18.089>ambition, <00:54:18.245>right,

1030
00:54:21.265 --> 00:54:22.345
<00:54:21.265>that's <00:54:21.508>where, <00:54:21.750>that's <00:54:21.993>where <00:54:22.236>it,

1031
00:54:22.365 --> 00:54:23.945
<00:54:22.365>it <00:54:22.598>meets <00:54:22.831>the <00:54:23.064>rubber <00:54:23.298>meets <00:54:23.531>the <00:54:23.765>road.

1032
00:54:24.005 --> 00:54:25.985
<00:54:24.005>If <00:54:24.205>there <00:54:24.405>is <00:54:24.605>no <00:54:24.805>listening <00:54:25.005>for <00:54:25.205>your <00:54:25.405>ambition,

1033
00:54:26.575 --> 00:54:29.745
<00:54:26.575>your <00:54:26.714>ambition <00:54:26.855>is <00:54:26.995>more <00:54:27.134>likely <00:54:27.274>to <00:54:27.415>do <00:54:27.555>damage <00:54:27.694>than <00:54:27.835>good <00:54:27.975>either

1034
00:54:29.805 --> 00:54:31.865
<00:54:29.805>for <00:54:29.944>you <00:54:30.085>or <00:54:30.225>for <00:54:30.365>the <00:54:30.504>manager <00:54:30.645>or <00:54:30.785>for <00:54:30.924>the <00:54:31.065>entire <00:54:31.205>team.

1035
00:54:33.235 --> 00:54:35.815
<00:54:33.235>So <00:54:33.410>do <00:54:33.585>you <00:54:33.760>have <00:54:33.935>a <00:54:34.110>listening <00:54:34.285>in <00:54:34.460>the <00:54:34.635>manager,

1036
00:54:36.075 --> 00:54:38.335
<00:54:36.075>in <00:54:36.355>your <00:54:36.634>teammates <00:54:36.915>for <00:54:37.194>your <00:54:37.475>ambition?

1037
00:54:38.795 --> 00:54:41.215
<00:54:38.795>Are <00:54:39.028>they <00:54:39.261>seeing <00:54:39.495>your <00:54:39.728>ambition <00:54:39.961>as <00:54:40.195>arrogance

1038
00:54:41.315 --> 00:54:44.735
<00:54:41.315>or <00:54:41.442>as <00:54:41.569>wanting <00:54:41.696>to <00:54:41.824>help <00:54:41.951>the <00:54:42.078>company, <00:54:42.205>wanting <00:54:42.333>to <00:54:42.460>help <00:54:42.587>the <00:54:42.715>team?

1039
00:54:45.435 --> 00:54:50.095
<00:54:45.435>If <00:54:45.590>you <00:54:45.746>create <00:54:45.901>a <00:54:46.057>listening <00:54:46.212>in <00:54:46.368>your <00:54:46.523>manager <00:54:46.679>for <00:54:46.835>yourself

1040
00:54:50.235 --> 00:54:51.815
<00:54:50.235>as <00:54:50.515>somebody <00:54:50.795>who <00:54:51.075>is <00:54:51.355>stepping <00:54:51.635>up

1041
00:54:52.195 --> 00:54:56.255
<00:54:52.195>and <00:54:52.335>who <00:54:52.475>is <00:54:52.615>taking <00:54:52.755>up <00:54:52.895>more <00:54:53.035>than <00:54:53.175>what, <00:54:53.315>what <00:54:53.455>he's <00:54:53.595>accountable,

1042
00:54:56.435 --> 00:54:59.905
<00:54:56.435>he <00:54:56.610>or <00:54:56.785>she's <00:54:56.960>accountable <00:54:57.134>for, <00:54:57.310>then <00:54:57.485>that <00:54:57.660>story <00:54:57.835>shift.

1043
00:54:59.965 --> 00:55:02.985
<00:54:59.965>So <00:55:00.105>instead <00:55:00.245>of, <00:55:00.385>so <00:55:00.525>a <00:55:00.665>good <00:55:00.805>question <00:55:00.945>to <00:55:01.085>ask <00:55:01.225>is <00:55:01.365>that

1044
00:55:03.605 --> 00:55:07.385
<00:55:03.605>how <00:55:03.745>do <00:55:03.885>I <00:55:04.025>shift <00:55:04.165>the <00:55:04.305>listening <00:55:04.445>in <00:55:04.585>my <00:55:04.725>manager <00:55:04.865>from <00:55:05.005>arrogance

1045
00:55:07.385 --> 00:55:10.665
<00:55:07.385>or <00:55:07.560>whatever <00:55:07.735>it <00:55:07.910>is, <00:55:08.085>to <00:55:08.260>a <00:55:08.435>listening <00:55:08.610>of <00:55:08.785>collaboration

1046
00:55:10.805 --> 00:55:14.825
<00:55:10.805>and <00:55:10.944>to <00:55:11.085>a <00:55:11.225>listening <00:55:11.365>of <00:55:11.504>me, <00:55:11.645>me <00:55:11.785>taking <00:55:11.924>a <00:55:12.065>bigger <00:55:12.205>road

1047
00:55:14.825 --> 00:55:18.665
<00:55:14.825>or <00:55:14.952>me <00:55:15.079>stepping <00:55:15.206>up, <00:55:15.334>not <00:55:15.461>not <00:55:15.588>for <00:55:15.715>my <00:55:15.843>own <00:55:15.970>ego <00:55:16.097>or <00:55:16.225>whatever,

1048
00:55:18.845 --> 00:55:21.745
<00:55:18.845>but <00:55:19.020>for <00:55:19.194>the <00:55:19.370>team, <00:55:19.544>for, <00:55:19.720>for <00:55:19.895>something <00:55:20.069>which <00:55:20.245>connects

1049
00:55:21.745 --> 00:55:22.985
<00:55:21.745>with <00:55:21.968>the <00:55:22.191>manager's <00:55:22.414>cares <00:55:22.637>as <00:55:22.861>well.

1050
00:55:22.985 --> 00:55:24.585
<00:55:22.985>So <00:55:23.185>if <00:55:23.385>the <00:55:23.585>manager <00:55:23.785>cares <00:55:23.985>about <00:55:24.185>the <00:55:24.385>team,

1051
00:55:25.125 --> 00:55:27.185
<00:55:25.125>how <00:55:25.325>can <00:55:25.525>you <00:55:25.725>take <00:55:25.925>care <00:55:26.125>of <00:55:26.325>that <00:55:26.525>concern?

1052
00:55:27.685 --> 00:55:30.025
<00:55:27.685>How <00:55:27.812>can <00:55:27.939>you <00:55:28.066>take <00:55:28.194>care <00:55:28.321>of <00:55:28.448>that <00:55:28.575>as <00:55:28.703>well <00:55:28.830>as <00:55:28.957>taking <00:55:29.085>care

1053
00:55:30.025 --> 00:55:33.265
<00:55:30.025>of <00:55:30.180>your <00:55:30.336>ambition <00:55:30.491>or <00:55:30.647>your, <00:55:30.802>your <00:55:30.958>own <00:55:31.113>want <00:55:31.269>for <00:55:31.425>growth?

1054
00:55:35.055 --> 00:55:37.625
<00:55:35.055>Awesome, <00:55:35.404>thanks. <00:55:35.754>Um, <00:55:36.105>let's <00:55:36.455>see.

1055
00:55:38.925 --> 00:55:42.625
<00:55:38.925>Nan <00:55:39.065>has <00:55:39.205>asked, <00:55:39.345>uh, <00:55:39.485>can <00:55:39.625>you <00:55:39.765>give <00:55:39.905>an <00:55:40.045>example <00:55:40.185>of <00:55:40.325>listening

1056
00:55:42.685 --> 00:55:46.465
<00:55:42.685>for <00:55:42.860>possibilities <00:55:43.035>that <00:55:43.210>will <00:55:43.384>solve <00:55:43.560>your <00:55:43.735>care <00:55:43.910>as <00:55:44.085>well

1057
00:55:46.465 --> 00:55:48.865
<00:55:46.465>as <00:55:46.698>another <00:55:46.931>person's, <00:55:47.165>for <00:55:47.398>example, <00:55:47.631>manager's <00:55:47.865>care.

1058
00:55:49.885 --> 00:55:51.865
<00:55:49.885>Yes. <00:55:50.060>I <00:55:50.235>think <00:55:50.410>the <00:55:50.585>example <00:55:50.760>which <00:55:50.935>I <00:55:51.110>just <00:55:51.285>gave,

1059
00:55:52.785 --> 00:55:53.785
<00:55:52.785>I <00:55:53.009>think <00:55:53.234>that, <00:55:53.460>yeah. <00:55:53.685>Yes.

1060
00:55:53.785 --> 00:55:55.345
<00:55:53.785>So <00:55:54.018>if <00:55:54.251>I'm <00:55:54.484>talking <00:55:54.718>to <00:55:54.951>my <00:55:55.185>manager

1061
00:55:55.445 --> 00:55:58.365
<00:55:55.445>and <00:55:55.678>my <00:55:55.911>manager <00:55:56.145>is <00:55:56.378>getting <00:55:56.611>frustrated, <00:55:56.845>right?

1062
00:55:58.365 --> 00:56:00.445
<00:55:58.365>Even <00:55:58.564>when <00:55:58.765>I <00:55:58.964>am <00:55:59.165>wanting <00:55:59.365>to <00:55:59.564>fix <00:55:59.765>things,

1063
00:56:00.635 --> 00:56:02.205
<00:56:00.635>take <00:56:00.985>on <00:56:01.335>bigger <00:56:01.685>projects <00:56:02.035>even.

1064
00:56:02.865 --> 00:56:05.245
<00:56:02.865>So <00:56:03.064>first <00:56:03.265>of <00:56:03.464>all, <00:56:03.665>why <00:56:03.865>are <00:56:04.064>you <00:56:04.265>frustrated?

1065
00:56:05.245 --> 00:56:06.685
<00:56:05.245>Like <00:56:05.504>I, <00:56:05.763>I <00:56:06.022>sense <00:56:06.281>some <00:56:06.541>frustration.

1066
00:56:06.685 --> 00:56:08.725
<00:56:06.685>Tell <00:56:06.884>me <00:56:07.085>what <00:56:07.285>is, <00:56:07.485>what <00:56:07.685>is <00:56:07.884>happening, <00:56:08.085>right?

1067
00:56:08.745 --> 00:56:10.565
<00:56:08.745>So <00:56:08.978>understand <00:56:09.211>where <00:56:09.444>that <00:56:09.678>is <00:56:09.911>coming <00:56:10.145>from,

1068
00:56:11.275 --> 00:56:13.215
<00:56:11.275>and <00:56:11.555>that <00:56:11.835>might <00:56:12.115>be <00:56:12.395>something <00:56:12.675>totally

1069
00:56:13.285 --> 00:56:14.335
<00:56:13.285>unrelated <00:56:13.600>to <00:56:13.915>work, <00:56:14.230>right?

1070
00:56:14.675 --> 00:56:16.655
<00:56:14.675>The <00:56:14.830>person <00:56:14.986>might <00:56:15.141>be <00:56:15.297>having <00:56:15.452>a <00:56:15.608>bad <00:56:15.763>day <00:56:15.919>at <00:56:16.075>work.

1071
00:56:16.655 --> 00:56:18.615
<00:56:16.655>That <00:56:16.855>person <00:56:17.055>might <00:56:17.255>be <00:56:17.455>having <00:56:17.655>a <00:56:17.855>personal <00:56:18.055>issue,

1072
00:56:19.275 --> 00:56:22.975
<00:56:19.275>or <00:56:19.450>the <00:56:19.625>person <00:56:19.800>might <00:56:19.975>have <00:56:20.150>some <00:56:20.325>concern <00:56:20.500>about <00:56:20.675>the,

1073
00:56:23.505 --> 00:56:25.125
<00:56:23.505>and <00:56:23.705>this <00:56:23.905>is <00:56:24.105>true <00:56:24.305>for <00:56:24.505>most <00:56:24.705>managers, <00:56:24.905>right?

1074
00:56:25.125 --> 00:56:27.445
<00:56:25.125>Every <00:56:25.358>manager <00:56:25.591>wants <00:56:25.825>the <00:56:26.058>team <00:56:26.291>to <00:56:26.525>succeed.

1075
00:56:27.945 --> 00:56:29.245
<00:56:27.945>So <00:56:28.335>that's, <00:56:28.725>that's <00:56:29.115>anyways,

1076
00:56:29.245 --> 00:56:30.685
<00:56:29.245>something <00:56:29.569>which <00:56:29.893>managers <00:56:30.217>care <00:56:30.541>about

1077
00:56:30.705 --> 00:56:32.285
<00:56:30.705>and <00:56:30.985>they <00:56:31.265>want <00:56:31.545>themselves <00:56:31.825>to <00:56:32.105>grow.

1078
00:56:32.555 --> 00:56:34.845
<00:56:32.555>Everybody <00:56:32.835>wants <00:56:33.115>promotion, <00:56:33.395>everybody <00:56:33.674>wants <00:56:33.955>growth.

1079
00:56:35.385 --> 00:56:37.525
<00:56:35.385>So <00:56:35.560>that <00:56:35.735>is <00:56:35.910>their <00:56:36.085>care, <00:56:36.260>which <00:56:36.435>is <00:56:36.610>easily <00:56:36.785>visible,

1080
00:56:37.585 --> 00:56:39.885
<00:56:37.585>but <00:56:37.712>there <00:56:37.839>might <00:56:37.966>be <00:56:38.094>other <00:56:38.221>cares <00:56:38.348>which <00:56:38.475>you, <00:56:38.603>you <00:56:38.730>do <00:56:38.857>not <00:56:38.985>see.

1081
00:56:40.505 --> 00:56:43.645
<00:56:40.505>So <00:56:40.660>let's <00:56:40.816>say <00:56:40.971>you <00:56:41.127>are <00:56:41.282>ambitious <00:56:41.438>and <00:56:41.593>you, <00:56:41.749>and <00:56:41.905>you

1082
00:56:43.645 --> 00:56:44.685
<00:56:43.645>and <00:56:43.832>you <00:56:44.019>want <00:56:44.206>to <00:56:44.393>work <00:56:44.581>more,

1083
00:56:44.745 --> 00:56:47.205
<00:56:44.745>but <00:56:44.978>the, <00:56:45.211>your <00:56:45.444>manager <00:56:45.678>appreciates <00:56:45.911>work-life <00:56:46.145>balance.

1084
00:56:49.325 --> 00:56:50.365
<00:56:49.325>I <00:56:49.512>agree <00:56:49.699>A <00:56:49.886>lot, <00:56:50.073>but <00:56:50.261>that,

1085
00:56:50.365 --> 00:56:51.605
<00:56:50.365>that's <00:56:50.644>a <00:56:50.923>different <00:56:51.202>care, <00:56:51.481>right?

1086
00:56:51.605 --> 00:56:52.805
<00:56:51.605>That's <00:56:51.821>a <00:56:52.037>different <00:56:52.252>care. <00:56:52.469>So <00:56:52.685>now

1087
00:56:52.945 --> 00:56:55.765
<00:56:52.945>how <00:56:53.120>can <00:56:53.295>you <00:56:53.470>present <00:56:53.645>your <00:56:53.820>ideas <00:56:53.995>in <00:56:54.170>a <00:56:54.345>way

1088
00:56:55.995 --> 00:56:58.925
<00:56:55.995>that <00:56:56.170>does <00:56:56.345>not <00:56:56.520>violate <00:56:56.694>his <00:56:56.870>sense <00:56:57.045>of <00:56:57.220>work-life <00:56:57.395>balance?

1089
00:56:59.985 --> 00:57:03.645
<00:56:59.985>So <00:57:00.112>how <00:57:00.239>can <00:57:00.366>you <00:57:00.494>put <00:57:00.621>your <00:57:00.748>ambition <00:57:00.875>in <00:57:01.003>a <00:57:01.130>frame <00:57:01.257>so <00:57:01.385>that

1090
00:57:04.155 --> 00:57:07.005
<00:57:04.155>your <00:57:04.282>ambition <00:57:04.409>is <00:57:04.536>taken <00:57:04.664>care <00:57:04.791>of <00:57:04.918>as <00:57:05.045>well <00:57:05.173>as <00:57:05.300>the <00:57:05.427>manager's <00:57:05.555>care

1091
00:57:07.065 --> 00:57:09.525
<00:57:07.065>of <00:57:07.345>either <00:57:07.625>growth <00:57:07.905>or <00:57:08.185>team's <00:57:08.465>performance?

1092
00:57:10.195 --> 00:57:11.605
<00:57:10.195>It's <00:57:10.353>instead <00:57:10.512>of <00:57:10.670>saying, <00:57:10.829>I <00:57:10.988>want <00:57:11.146>to <00:57:11.305>do <00:57:11.464>more,

1093
00:57:11.645 --> 00:57:12.845
<00:57:11.645>I <00:57:11.799>want <00:57:11.953>to <00:57:12.107>do <00:57:12.262>more, <00:57:12.416>give <00:57:12.570>me <00:57:12.725>more.

1094
00:57:13.505 --> 00:57:15.045
<00:57:13.505>Ask <00:57:13.736>the <00:57:13.967>person, <00:57:14.198>what <00:57:14.429>are <00:57:14.660>your <00:57:14.891>challenges?

1095
00:57:15.145 --> 00:57:16.725
<00:57:15.145>Ask <00:57:15.345>the <00:57:15.545>manager, <00:57:15.745>what <00:57:15.945>does <00:57:16.145>the <00:57:16.345>team <00:57:16.545>need?

1096
00:57:16.865 --> 00:57:18.805
<00:57:16.865>How <00:57:17.214>can <00:57:17.564>I <00:57:17.915>contribute? <00:57:18.265>Right?

1097
00:57:18.805 --> 00:57:20.885
<00:57:18.805>So <00:57:18.980>it's <00:57:19.154>a <00:57:19.330>different <00:57:19.504>way <00:57:19.680>of <00:57:19.855>framing <00:57:20.029>your <00:57:20.205>question,

1098
00:57:21.425 --> 00:57:23.405
<00:57:21.425>but <00:57:21.658>that's <00:57:21.891>how <00:57:22.125>you <00:57:22.358>listen <00:57:22.591>for <00:57:22.825>possibilities.

1099
00:57:23.545 --> 00:57:26.205
<00:57:23.545>And <00:57:23.720>as <00:57:23.895>soon <00:57:24.070>as <00:57:24.245>the <00:57:24.420>person <00:57:24.595>says <00:57:24.770>something, <00:57:24.945>oh,

1100
00:57:26.405 --> 00:57:29.045
<00:57:26.405>I <00:57:26.560>have <00:57:26.716>this <00:57:26.871>challenge, <00:57:27.027>or <00:57:27.182>My <00:57:27.338>director <00:57:27.493>told <00:57:27.649>me <00:57:27.805>this,

1101
00:57:29.045 --> 00:57:32.445
<00:57:29.045>something, <00:57:29.185>okay, <00:57:29.325>maybe <00:57:29.465>there <00:57:29.605>is <00:57:29.745>something <00:57:29.885>I <00:57:30.025>can <00:57:30.165>do <00:57:30.305>about <00:57:30.445>it.

1102
00:57:32.445 --> 00:57:35.245
<00:57:32.445>So <00:57:32.600>that's, <00:57:32.756>that's <00:57:32.911>a <00:57:33.067>light <00:57:33.222>bulb <00:57:33.378>for <00:57:33.533>you <00:57:33.689>as <00:57:33.845>soon

1103
00:57:35.245 --> 00:57:36.325
<00:57:35.245>as <00:57:35.439>you <00:57:35.633>hear <00:57:35.828>something <00:57:36.022>like <00:57:36.216>that.

1104
00:57:37.895 --> 00:57:41.155
<00:57:37.895>Thanks <00:57:38.128>for <00:57:38.361>that <00:57:38.595>answer. <00:57:38.828>Um, <00:57:39.061>let's <00:57:39.295>see.

1105
00:57:43.585 --> 00:57:47.035
<00:57:43.585>Okay, <00:57:43.935>um, <00:57:44.285>Julian <00:57:44.635>is <00:57:44.985>asking,

1106
00:57:48.725 --> 00:57:50.305
<00:57:48.725>how <00:57:48.958>do <00:57:49.191>you, <00:57:49.424>how <00:57:49.658>do <00:57:49.891>we <00:57:50.125>spot

1107
00:57:50.405 --> 00:57:54.305
<00:57:50.405>and <00:57:50.580>unlearn <00:57:50.755>the <00:57:50.930>fake <00:57:51.105>stories <00:57:51.280>with <00:57:51.455>mate <00:57:51.630>into <00:57:51.805>truths?

1108
00:57:57.195 --> 00:58:00.655
<00:57:57.195>So <00:57:57.545>stories <00:57:57.895>are <00:57:58.245>not <00:57:58.595>true

1109
00:58:00.655 --> 00:58:04.695
<00:58:00.655>or <00:58:00.810>false <00:58:00.966>stories <00:58:01.121>are <00:58:01.277>not <00:58:01.432>fake <00:58:01.588>or <00:58:01.743>un <00:58:01.899>fake <00:58:02.055>stories.

1110
00:58:05.405 --> 00:58:08.945
<00:58:05.405>Even, <00:58:05.545>even <00:58:05.685>good <00:58:05.825>or <00:58:05.965>bad, <00:58:06.105>true <00:58:06.245>or <00:58:06.385>false <00:58:06.525>are <00:58:06.665>stories, <00:58:06.805>right?

1111
00:58:08.965 --> 00:58:10.625
<00:58:08.965>If, <00:58:09.120>if <00:58:09.276>I, <00:58:09.431>if <00:58:09.587>I <00:58:09.742>see <00:58:09.898>it <00:58:10.053>as <00:58:10.209>one <00:58:10.365>way,

1112
00:58:11.345 --> 00:58:12.825
<00:58:11.345>I <00:58:11.535>gave <00:58:11.725>this <00:58:11.915>example <00:58:12.106>of <00:58:12.296>a <00:58:12.486>pen, <00:58:12.676>right?

1113
00:58:12.825 --> 00:58:15.145
<00:58:12.825>If <00:58:12.964>I <00:58:13.105>say, <00:58:13.245>this <00:58:13.384>pen <00:58:13.524>is <00:58:13.665>good, <00:58:13.805>this <00:58:13.944>pen <00:58:14.085>is <00:58:14.225>bad,

1114
00:58:15.295 --> 00:58:16.305
<00:58:15.295>that <00:58:15.598>is <00:58:15.901>a <00:58:16.203>story.

1115
00:58:16.965 --> 00:58:18.745
<00:58:16.965>So <00:58:17.431>stories <00:58:17.898>are <00:58:18.365>neutral.

1116
00:58:19.165 --> 00:58:21.465
<00:58:19.165>The <00:58:19.340>only <00:58:19.515>question <00:58:19.690>is, <00:58:19.865>is <00:58:20.040>the <00:58:20.215>story <00:58:20.390>helping <00:58:20.565>me

1117
00:58:22.215 --> 00:58:23.875
<00:58:22.215>or <00:58:22.448>is <00:58:22.681>this <00:58:22.915>story <00:58:23.148>not <00:58:23.381>helping <00:58:23.615>me?

1118
00:58:24.545 --> 00:58:27.085
<00:58:24.545>And <00:58:24.685>one <00:58:24.825>way <00:58:24.965>to <00:58:25.105>identify, <00:58:25.245>I <00:58:25.385>think <00:58:25.525>that, <00:58:25.665>I <00:58:25.805>think <00:58:25.945>that's,

1119
00:58:27.085 --> 00:58:28.285
<00:58:27.085>that's <00:58:27.355>what <00:58:27.625>the <00:58:27.895>question <00:58:28.165>is.

1120
00:58:28.625 --> 00:58:32.285
<00:58:28.625>One <00:58:28.765>way <00:58:28.905>to <00:58:29.045>identify <00:58:29.185>stories, <00:58:29.325>which <00:58:29.465>is <00:58:29.605>not <00:58:29.745>helping <00:58:29.885>me, <00:58:30.025>is

1121
00:58:32.285 --> 00:58:35.925
<00:58:32.285>to <00:58:32.401>ask <00:58:32.518>yourself, <00:58:32.634>where <00:58:32.751>do <00:58:32.868>I <00:58:32.984>not <00:58:33.101>have <00:58:33.218>the <00:58:33.335>result <00:58:33.451>that <00:58:33.568>I <00:58:33.685>want?

1122
00:58:37.425 --> 00:58:39.445
<00:58:37.425>So <00:58:37.565>if <00:58:37.705>I <00:58:37.845>want <00:58:37.985>a <00:58:38.125>promotion, <00:58:38.265>if <00:58:38.405>I <00:58:38.545>have <00:58:38.685>been <00:58:38.825>trying

1123
00:58:39.445 --> 00:58:41.165
<00:58:39.445>for <00:58:39.620>a <00:58:39.795>promotion, <00:58:39.970>I, <00:58:40.145>and <00:58:40.320>do <00:58:40.495>not <00:58:40.670>have <00:58:40.845>this,

1124
00:58:41.665 --> 00:58:44.925
<00:58:41.665>or <00:58:41.792>as <00:58:41.919>a, <00:58:42.046>as <00:58:42.174>a <00:58:42.301>manager, <00:58:42.428>if <00:58:42.555>I <00:58:42.683>want <00:58:42.810>a <00:58:42.937>particular <00:58:43.065>metric

1125
00:58:44.925 --> 00:58:47.685
<00:58:44.925>to <00:58:45.065>go <00:58:45.205>up <00:58:45.345>and <00:58:45.485>I <00:58:45.625>do <00:58:45.765>not <00:58:45.905>have <00:58:46.045>that <00:58:46.185>metric, <00:58:46.325>then

1126
00:58:47.715 --> 00:58:49.325
<00:58:47.715>what <00:58:48.065>might <00:58:48.415>be <00:58:48.765>my <00:58:49.115>stories?

1127
00:58:49.775 --> 00:58:52.365
<00:58:49.775>Which <00:58:50.055>is <00:58:50.335>stopping <00:58:50.615>me <00:58:50.895>from <00:58:51.175>collaborating,

1128
00:58:52.395 --> 00:58:55.125
<00:58:52.395>from <00:58:52.522>doing <00:58:52.649>whatever <00:58:52.776>I <00:58:52.904>need <00:58:53.031>to <00:58:53.158>do <00:58:53.285>for <00:58:53.413>that <00:58:53.540>metric <00:58:53.667>to <00:58:53.795>go,

1129
00:58:56.445 --> 00:58:57.495
<00:58:56.445>this <00:58:56.760>can <00:58:57.075>be <00:58:57.390>difficult.

1130
00:58:57.925 --> 00:58:59.695
<00:58:57.925>This <00:58:58.275>might <00:58:58.625>require <00:58:58.975>some <00:58:59.325>self-reflection.

1131
00:59:00.635 --> 00:59:03.415
<00:59:00.635>One <00:59:00.762>way <00:59:00.889>to <00:59:01.016>short <00:59:01.144>side <00:59:01.271>this <00:59:01.398>process <00:59:01.525>is <00:59:01.653>to <00:59:01.780>ask <00:59:01.907>for <00:59:02.035>feedback.

1132
00:59:04.865 --> 00:59:06.605
<00:59:04.865>Ask <00:59:05.098>for <00:59:05.331>feedback <00:59:05.564>from <00:59:05.798>people <00:59:06.031>around <00:59:06.265>you.

1133
00:59:06.605 --> 00:59:07.805
<00:59:06.605>What <00:59:06.875>am <00:59:07.145>I <00:59:07.415>missing <00:59:07.685>here?

1134
00:59:08.235 --> 00:59:10.645
<00:59:08.235>What <00:59:08.375>would <00:59:08.515>you <00:59:08.655>do <00:59:08.795>if <00:59:08.935>you <00:59:09.075>were <00:59:09.215>in <00:59:09.355>my <00:59:09.495>place? <00:59:09.635>Right?

1135
00:59:10.795 --> 00:59:12.565
<00:59:10.795>Because <00:59:11.261>everybody <00:59:11.728>listens <00:59:12.195>differently.

1136
00:59:12.985 --> 00:59:15.365
<00:59:12.985>And <00:59:13.140>when <00:59:13.296>they <00:59:13.451>share <00:59:13.607>their <00:59:13.762>story, <00:59:13.918>when <00:59:14.073>they <00:59:14.229>share <00:59:14.385>their,

1137
00:59:15.855 --> 00:59:17.885
<00:59:15.855>their <00:59:16.135>view <00:59:16.415>of <00:59:16.695>things, <00:59:16.975>they <00:59:17.255>will,

1138
00:59:18.035 --> 00:59:19.605
<00:59:18.035>they <00:59:18.315>will <00:59:18.595>give <00:59:18.875>you <00:59:19.154>an <00:59:19.435>insight.

1139
00:59:20.305 --> 00:59:21.805
<00:59:20.305>Maybe <00:59:20.529>you <00:59:20.754>can <00:59:20.980>look <00:59:21.205>at <00:59:21.430>it <00:59:21.654>differently.

1140
00:59:21.945 --> 00:59:25.605
<00:59:21.945>So <00:59:22.061>you, <00:59:22.178>you <00:59:22.295>see <00:59:22.411>my, <00:59:22.528>my <00:59:22.645>manager <00:59:22.761>is <00:59:22.878>this <00:59:22.995>way, <00:59:23.111>and <00:59:23.228>you'll <00:59:23.345>go

1141
00:59:25.605 --> 00:59:27.365
<00:59:25.605>and <00:59:25.838>ask <00:59:26.071>somebody <00:59:26.305>else <00:59:26.538>and <00:59:26.771>they <00:59:27.005>tell

1142
00:59:27.365 --> 00:59:28.525
<00:59:27.365>you, <00:59:27.573>oh, <00:59:27.782>I <00:59:27.991>didn't <00:59:28.200>see <00:59:28.409>that.

1143
00:59:28.925 --> 00:59:31.125
<00:59:28.925>I <00:59:29.100>thought <00:59:29.275>of <00:59:29.450>this <00:59:29.625>manager <00:59:29.800>as <00:59:29.975>this <00:59:30.150>way, <00:59:30.325>right?

1144
00:59:31.125 --> 00:59:33.525
<00:59:31.125>So <00:59:31.252>you <00:59:31.379>suddenly <00:59:31.506>see <00:59:31.634>that <00:59:31.761>maybe <00:59:31.888>this <00:59:32.015>is <00:59:32.143>a <00:59:32.270>story <00:59:32.397>which <00:59:32.525>I'm

1145
00:59:33.525 --> 00:59:36.085
<00:59:33.525>making <00:59:33.665>and <00:59:33.805>maybe <00:59:33.945>I <00:59:34.085>don't <00:59:34.225>have <00:59:34.365>to <00:59:34.505>hold <00:59:34.645>it <00:59:34.785>so <00:59:34.925>tightly.

1146
00:59:36.125 --> 00:59:39.605
<00:59:36.125>I <00:59:36.225>can, <00:59:36.325>I <00:59:36.425>can <00:59:36.525>leave <00:59:36.625>it <00:59:36.725>aside <00:59:36.825>and <00:59:36.925>then <00:59:37.025>I <00:59:37.125>can <00:59:37.225>make <00:59:37.325>a <00:59:37.425>new <00:59:37.525>story

1147
00:59:39.625 --> 00:59:43.075
<00:59:39.625>or <00:59:39.765>I <00:59:39.905>can <00:59:40.045>try <00:59:40.185>to <00:59:40.325>take <00:59:40.465>action <00:59:40.605>from <00:59:40.745>a <00:59:40.885>different <00:59:41.025>place.

1148
00:59:44.055 --> 00:59:46.555
<00:59:44.055>Uh, <00:59:44.230>so <00:59:44.404>that's, <00:59:44.580>uh, <00:59:44.754>that's <00:59:44.930>how <00:59:45.105>I <00:59:45.279>would, <00:59:45.455>uh,

1149
00:59:46.635 --> 00:59:48.355
<00:59:46.635>I <00:59:46.915>would <00:59:47.195>like <00:59:47.475>approach <00:59:47.755>that <00:59:48.035>situation.

1150
00:59:49.545 --> 00:59:54.075
<00:59:49.545>Perfect. <00:59:49.778>Um, <00:59:50.011>there's <00:59:50.245>one <00:59:50.478>question <00:59:50.711>from <00:59:50.945>Bali.

1151
00:59:54.235 --> 00:59:56.275
<00:59:54.235>I <00:59:54.410>hope <00:59:54.585>I <00:59:54.760>didn't <00:59:54.935>butcher <00:59:55.110>that <00:59:55.285>name <00:59:55.460>too <00:59:55.635>much.

1152
00:59:56.495 --> 01:00:00.675
<00:59:56.495>Um, <00:59:56.650>it's <00:59:56.806>kind <00:59:56.961>of <00:59:57.117>similar <00:59:57.272>to <00:59:57.428>the, <00:59:57.583>uh, <00:59:57.739>questions <00:59:57.895>before.

1153
01:00:00.975 --> 01:00:04.195
<01:00:00.975>Um, <01:00:01.150>it <01:00:01.325>is <01:00:01.500>how <01:00:01.674>do <01:00:01.850>I <01:00:02.025>know <01:00:02.200>what, <01:00:02.375>what's

1154
01:00:04.785 --> 01:00:06.795
<01:00:04.785>what <01:00:05.134>a <01:00:05.484>person's <01:00:05.835>intentions <01:00:06.185>are?

1155
01:00:09.005 --> 01:00:12.905
<01:00:09.005>You <01:00:09.205>do <01:00:09.405>not <01:00:09.605>know <01:00:09.805>unless, <01:00:10.005>unless <01:00:10.205>you <01:00:10.405>ask.

1156
01:00:13.125 --> 01:00:16.905
<01:00:13.125>So <01:00:13.252>one <01:00:13.379>way <01:00:13.506>is <01:00:13.634>to <01:00:13.761>ask <01:00:13.888>directly, <01:00:14.015>but <01:00:14.143>the <01:00:14.270>the <01:00:14.397>second <01:00:14.525>way,

1157
01:00:16.905 --> 01:00:19.665
<01:00:16.905>because <01:00:17.105>you <01:00:17.305>asking <01:00:17.505>doesn't <01:00:17.705>make <01:00:17.905>a <01:00:18.105>difference, <01:00:18.305>right?

1158
01:00:19.685 --> 01:00:22.425
<01:00:19.685>If <01:00:19.825>the <01:00:19.965>other <01:00:20.105>person <01:00:20.245>does <01:00:20.384>not <01:00:20.525>have <01:00:20.665>a <01:00:20.805>listening <01:00:20.945>for <01:00:21.085>trust,

1159
01:00:23.405 --> 01:00:24.825
<01:00:23.405>the <01:00:23.660>person <01:00:23.916>will <01:00:24.171>share <01:00:24.427>their <01:00:24.683>intention

1160
01:00:24.855 --> 01:00:26.905
<01:00:24.855>with <01:00:25.088>you <01:00:25.321>only <01:00:25.555>if <01:00:25.788>they <01:00:26.021>trust <01:00:26.255>you.

1161
01:00:27.835 --> 01:00:29.655
<01:00:27.835>The <01:00:28.035>second <01:00:28.235>way, <01:00:28.435>which <01:00:28.635>I <01:00:28.835>shared <01:00:29.035>is <01:00:29.235>listening.

1162
01:00:29.835 --> 01:00:32.335
<01:00:29.835>So <01:00:30.115>when <01:00:30.395>people <01:00:30.675>are <01:00:30.955>sharing, <01:00:31.235>they're,

1163
01:00:32.605 --> 01:00:35.615
<01:00:32.605>they're <01:00:32.838>communicating <01:00:33.071>their <01:00:33.305>intentions <01:00:33.538>all <01:00:33.771>the <01:00:34.005>time.

1164
01:00:36.785 --> 01:00:38.485
<01:00:36.785>And <01:00:37.018>that <01:00:37.251>happens <01:00:37.484>through <01:00:37.718>tone <01:00:37.951>of <01:00:38.185>voice.

1165
01:00:38.485 --> 01:00:41.255
<01:00:38.485>That <01:00:38.718>happens <01:00:38.951>through <01:00:39.185>body <01:00:39.418>language, <01:00:39.651>that <01:00:39.885>happens

1166
01:00:41.255 --> 01:00:43.975
<01:00:41.255>through <01:00:41.535>emotions <01:00:41.815>like <01:00:42.095>frustration, <01:00:42.375>anger, <01:00:42.655>excitement.

1167
01:00:45.395 --> 01:00:47.535
<01:00:45.395>And <01:00:45.570>that <01:00:45.745>will <01:00:45.920>tell <01:00:46.095>you <01:00:46.270>what <01:00:46.445>their <01:00:46.620>intention <01:00:46.795>is.

1168
01:00:48.535 --> 01:00:51.785
<01:00:48.535>And <01:00:48.651>you <01:00:48.768>might <01:00:48.884>have <01:00:49.001>to <01:00:49.118>go <01:00:49.234>a <01:00:49.351>bit <01:00:49.468>a <01:00:49.585>little <01:00:49.701>bit <01:00:49.818>deeper, <01:00:49.935>okay?

1169
01:00:52.265 --> 01:00:54.145
<01:00:52.265>I <01:00:52.440>thought <01:00:52.615>you <01:00:52.790>would <01:00:52.964>be, <01:00:53.140>you <01:00:53.315>would <01:00:53.490>be <01:00:53.665>excited

1170
01:00:54.405 --> 01:00:55.825
<01:00:54.405>and <01:00:54.660>joyful <01:00:54.916>at <01:00:55.171>what <01:00:55.427>I <01:00:55.683>did.

1171
01:00:56.245 --> 01:00:59.825
<01:00:56.245>But <01:00:56.372>on <01:00:56.499>the <01:00:56.626>other <01:00:56.754>hand, <01:00:56.881>I, <01:00:57.008>I <01:00:57.135>see <01:00:57.263>a <01:00:57.390>very <01:00:57.517>neutral <01:00:57.645>state.

1172
01:01:00.255 --> 01:01:03.145
<01:01:00.255>Tell <01:01:00.430>me <01:01:00.605>how <01:01:00.780>is <01:01:00.955>it <01:01:01.130>this <01:01:01.305>not <01:01:01.480>connecting <01:01:01.655>to,

1173
01:01:03.485 --> 01:01:05.425
<01:01:03.485>to <01:01:03.660>the <01:01:03.835>results <01:01:04.010>which <01:01:04.185>our <01:01:04.360>team <01:01:04.535>wants <01:01:04.710>to <01:01:04.885>produce?

1174
01:01:05.425 --> 01:01:07.745
<01:01:05.425>Like <01:01:05.580>where, <01:01:05.736>where <01:01:05.891>am <01:01:06.047>I <01:01:06.202>missing <01:01:06.358>some, <01:01:06.513>I'm <01:01:06.669>missing <01:01:06.825>something.

1175
01:01:07.745 --> 01:01:09.305
<01:01:07.745>Tell <01:01:07.978>me, <01:01:08.211>correct <01:01:08.444>me <01:01:08.678>if <01:01:08.911>I'm <01:01:09.145>wrong.

1176
01:01:09.605 --> 01:01:11.025
<01:01:09.605>So <01:01:09.924>that's <01:01:10.244>how <01:01:10.563>you <01:01:10.883>listen

1177
01:01:11.085 --> 01:01:13.745
<01:01:11.085>for <01:01:11.285>something <01:01:11.485>which <01:01:11.685>is <01:01:11.885>not <01:01:12.085>resonating <01:01:12.285>with <01:01:12.485>you.

1178
01:01:14.365 --> 01:01:16.585
<01:01:14.365>And <01:01:14.520>then <01:01:14.676>you <01:01:14.831>very <01:01:14.987>gently, <01:01:15.142>like <01:01:15.298>you <01:01:15.453>do <01:01:15.609>not <01:01:15.765>say,

1179
01:01:16.585 --> 01:01:17.665
<01:01:16.585>tell <01:01:16.779>me <01:01:16.973>what <01:01:17.168>is <01:01:17.362>your <01:01:17.557>intention?

1180
01:01:18.905 --> 01:01:20.955
<01:01:18.905>Tell, <01:01:19.045>tell <01:01:19.185>me <01:01:19.325>what <01:01:19.465>are <01:01:19.605>you <01:01:19.745>thinking? <01:01:19.885>Why <01:01:20.025>are <01:01:20.165>you <01:01:20.305>angry?

1181
01:01:21.545 --> 01:01:24.355
<01:01:21.545>Like <01:01:21.720>you <01:01:21.895>very <01:01:22.070>gently <01:01:22.245>say, <01:01:22.420>I'm <01:01:22.595>missing <01:01:22.770>something <01:01:22.945>here.

1182
01:01:24.415 --> 01:01:27.275
<01:01:24.415>Can <01:01:24.615>you <01:01:24.815>help <01:01:25.015>me <01:01:25.215>understand <01:01:25.415>this <01:01:25.615>better? <01:01:25.815>Right?

1183
01:01:27.275 --> 01:01:28.995
<01:01:27.275>So <01:01:27.508>that's <01:01:27.741>how <01:01:27.975>you <01:01:28.208>slowly <01:01:28.441>build <01:01:28.675>trust.

1184
01:01:28.995 --> 01:01:30.875
<01:01:28.995>That's <01:01:29.194>how <01:01:29.395>you <01:01:29.595>slowly <01:01:29.795>allow <01:01:29.995>people <01:01:30.194>to <01:01:30.395>share

1185
01:01:30.905 --> 01:01:33.355
<01:01:30.905>what <01:01:31.105>is <01:01:31.305>happening <01:01:31.505>internally <01:01:31.705>for <01:01:31.905>them <01:01:32.105>with <01:01:32.305>you,

1186
01:01:33.615 --> 01:01:36.315
<01:01:33.615>and <01:01:33.814>that <01:01:34.015>gives <01:01:34.214>you <01:01:34.415>new <01:01:34.615>action <01:01:34.814>to <01:01:35.015>communicate.

1187
01:01:37.875 --> 01:01:40.325
<01:01:37.875>Perfect. <01:01:38.155>So <01:01:38.435>yeah, <01:01:38.715>actually <01:01:38.995>that's <01:01:39.275>one

1188
01:01:40.325 --> 01:01:43.005
<01:01:40.325>of <01:01:40.524>my <01:01:40.725>key <01:01:40.924>takeaways <01:01:41.125>from <01:01:41.325>your <01:01:41.524>presentation <01:01:41.725>also.

1189
01:01:43.105 --> 01:01:46.685
<01:01:43.105>Um, <01:01:43.280>I've <01:01:43.455>noted, <01:01:43.630>uh, <01:01:43.805>take <01:01:43.980>your <01:01:44.155>time <01:01:44.330>to <01:01:44.505>listen

1190
01:01:46.945 --> 01:01:49.045
<01:01:46.945>and <01:01:47.145>give <01:01:47.345>people <01:01:47.545>the <01:01:47.745>chance <01:01:47.945>to <01:01:48.145>speak <01:01:48.345>out.

1191
01:01:49.305 --> 01:01:53.325
<01:01:49.305>So <01:01:49.538>I <01:01:49.771>think <01:01:50.004>that's, <01:01:50.238>yeah. <01:01:50.471>All <01:01:50.705>right.

1192
01:01:53.745 --> 01:01:56.045
<01:01:53.745>So, <01:01:53.978>uh, <01:01:54.211>that <01:01:54.444>was <01:01:54.678>the <01:01:54.911>last <01:01:55.145>question.

1193
01:01:56.385 --> 01:01:59.685
<01:01:56.385>Um, <01:01:56.618>maybe <01:01:56.851>you <01:01:57.085>can <01:01:57.318>share <01:01:57.551>some <01:01:57.785>resources,

1194
01:01:59.945 --> 01:02:01.165
<01:01:59.945>uh, <01:02:00.311>with <01:02:00.677>our <01:02:01.043>audience.

1195
01:02:01.865 --> 01:02:04.605
<01:02:01.865>Do <01:02:02.064>you <01:02:02.265>have <01:02:02.464>some <01:02:02.665>book <01:02:02.865>recommendations <01:02:03.064>or <01:02:03.265>anything?

1196
01:02:06.185 --> 01:02:08.685
<01:02:06.185>So <01:02:06.360>I, <01:02:06.535>I <01:02:06.710>have <01:02:06.884>my <01:02:07.060>website, <01:02:07.235>which <01:02:07.410>is, <01:02:07.585>uh,

1197
01:02:08.685 --> 01:02:10.045
<01:02:08.685>deploy <01:02:09.909>yourself.com.

1198
01:02:10.385 --> 01:02:13.325
<01:02:10.385>Mm-hmm. <01:02:10.618>I <01:02:10.851>write <01:02:11.085>a <01:02:11.318>lot <01:02:11.551>there <01:02:11.785>regularly,

1199
01:02:13.705 --> 01:02:15.405
<01:02:13.705>and <01:02:13.985>I <01:02:14.265>have <01:02:14.545>some <01:02:14.825>curated <01:02:15.105>reports.

1200
01:02:15.665 --> 01:02:16.725
<01:02:15.665>It <01:02:15.855>was <01:02:16.046>there <01:02:16.237>in <01:02:16.428>the <01:02:16.618>slides.

1201
01:02:16.865 --> 01:02:20.165
<01:02:16.865>I'm <01:02:17.004>not <01:02:17.145>sure <01:02:17.285>I <01:02:17.424>can <01:02:17.564>provide <01:02:17.705>the <01:02:17.845>slides, <01:02:17.984>um, <01:02:18.125>to <01:02:18.265>be

1202
01:02:20.325 --> 01:02:21.845
<01:02:20.325>provided <01:02:20.553>as <01:02:20.781>a, <01:02:21.009>as <01:02:21.236>a <01:02:21.464>resource <01:02:21.692>later.

1203
01:02:22.385 --> 01:02:23.765
<01:02:22.385>But <01:02:22.592>there <01:02:22.799>are <01:02:23.006>a <01:02:23.213>lot <01:02:23.420>of <01:02:23.627>reports

1204
01:02:23.865 --> 01:02:27.165
<01:02:23.865>or <01:02:24.004>small <01:02:24.145>20, <01:02:24.285>30 <01:02:24.424>pages <01:02:24.564>reports, <01:02:24.705>which <01:02:24.845>I <01:02:24.984>share <01:02:25.125>with <01:02:25.265>my,

1205
01:02:27.165 --> 01:02:28.245
<01:02:27.165>with <01:02:27.489>my <01:02:27.813>coaching <01:02:28.136>clients.

1206
01:02:29.065 --> 01:02:31.165
<01:02:29.065>And, <01:02:29.345>uh, <01:02:29.625>normally, <01:02:29.905>normally <01:02:30.185>they <01:02:30.465>are,

1207
01:02:31.195 --> 01:02:33.845
<01:02:31.195>they <01:02:31.335>are <01:02:31.475>like <01:02:31.615>accessible <01:02:31.755>when <01:02:31.895>you <01:02:32.035>sign <01:02:32.175>up <01:02:32.315>for <01:02:32.455>my <01:02:32.595>newsletter,

1208
01:02:34.145 --> 01:02:37.805
<01:02:34.145>but <01:02:34.272>I <01:02:34.399>can <01:02:34.526>make <01:02:34.654>it <01:02:34.781>available <01:02:34.908>directly <01:02:35.035>to <01:02:35.163>a <01:02:35.290>direct <01:02:35.417>PDF <01:02:35.545>link,

1209
01:02:38.305 --> 01:02:40.365
<01:02:38.305>uh, <01:02:38.460>for <01:02:38.616>people <01:02:38.771>who <01:02:38.927>are <01:02:39.082>there <01:02:39.238>in, <01:02:39.393>in <01:02:39.549>the <01:02:39.705>website.

1210
01:02:40.365 --> 01:02:42.845
<01:02:40.365>So <01:02:40.481>Vincent, <01:02:40.598>I <01:02:40.714>can, <01:02:40.831>I <01:02:40.948>can <01:02:41.064>send <01:02:41.181>you <01:02:41.298>these <01:02:41.415>links <01:02:41.531>later <01:02:41.648>on <01:02:41.765>for,

1211
01:02:42.865 --> 01:02:43.925
<01:02:42.865>for <01:02:43.103>people <01:02:43.342>to <01:02:43.580>access <01:02:43.819>it.

1212
01:02:44.235 --> 01:02:46.325
<01:02:44.235>Perfect. <01:02:44.468>Let's, <01:02:44.701>that's <01:02:44.935>how <01:02:45.168>I <01:02:45.401>would, <01:02:45.635>yeah.

1213
01:02:46.515 --> 01:02:50.045
<01:02:46.515>Yeah, <01:02:46.714>let's <01:02:46.915>do <01:02:47.115>that. <01:02:47.315>Perfect. <01:02:47.515>Um, <01:02:47.714>let's <01:02:47.915>see.

1214
01:02:50.305 --> 01:02:53.365
<01:02:50.305>Uh, <01:02:50.480>there <01:02:50.654>is <01:02:50.830>another <01:02:51.004>question, <01:02:51.180>uh, <01:02:51.355>also <01:02:51.529>from <01:02:51.705>Nick.

1215
01:02:53.745 --> 01:02:57.605
<01:02:53.745>Um, <01:02:53.944>from <01:02:54.145>your <01:02:54.345>point <01:02:54.545>of <01:02:54.745>view, <01:02:54.944>what <01:02:55.145>impact

1216
01:02:58.275 --> 01:03:02.085
<01:02:58.275>does <01:02:58.450>at <01:02:58.625>will <01:02:58.800>employment, <01:02:58.975>for <01:02:59.150>example, <01:02:59.325>in <01:02:59.500>the <01:02:59.675>USA,

1217
01:03:02.395 --> 01:03:05.805
<01:03:02.395>have <01:03:02.628>on <01:03:02.861>the <01:03:03.095>employer <01:03:03.328>employee, <01:03:03.561>uh, <01:03:03.795>relationship

1218
01:03:05.875 --> 01:03:09.005
<01:03:05.875>that <01:03:06.075>differs <01:03:06.275>from <01:03:06.475>the <01:03:06.675>CDI <01:03:06.875>in <01:03:07.075>the <01:03:07.275>U?

1219
01:03:11.245 --> 01:03:12.465
<01:03:11.245>Can <01:03:11.428>you, <01:03:11.611>can <01:03:11.794>you <01:03:11.977>repeat <01:03:12.160>that <01:03:12.343>question?

1220
01:03:12.545 --> 01:03:14.705
<01:03:12.545>I <01:03:12.685>think, <01:03:12.825>I <01:03:12.965>think <01:03:13.105>I <01:03:13.245>did <01:03:13.385>not <01:03:13.525>understand <01:03:13.665>it <01:03:13.805>completely. <01:03:13.945>Um,

1221
01:03:15.345 --> 01:03:17.785
<01:03:15.345>Chu <01:03:15.520>thing, <01:03:15.694>uh, <01:03:15.870>from <01:03:16.044>your <01:03:16.220>point <01:03:16.395>of, <01:03:16.569>uh, <01:03:16.745>view,

1222
01:03:18.135 --> 01:03:21.545
<01:03:18.135>what <01:03:18.368>impact <01:03:18.601>does <01:03:18.835>at <01:03:19.068>will <01:03:19.301>employment <01:03:19.535>in,

1223
01:03:21.605 --> 01:03:26.345
<01:03:21.605>in <01:03:21.760>the <01:03:21.916>USA <01:03:22.071>have, <01:03:22.227>uh, <01:03:22.382>on <01:03:22.538>the <01:03:22.693>employer <01:03:22.849>employee <01:03:23.005>relationship

1224
01:03:26.615 --> 01:03:29.985
<01:03:26.615>that <01:03:26.790>differs <01:03:26.964>from <01:03:27.140>the <01:03:27.314>CDI <01:03:27.490>in <01:03:27.665>the <01:03:27.839>European <01:03:28.015>Union?

1225
01:03:31.405 --> 01:03:34.985
<01:03:31.405>Uh, <01:03:31.545>Vincent, <01:03:31.685>I'm, <01:03:31.825>I'm, <01:03:31.965>I'm <01:03:32.105>not <01:03:32.245>aware <01:03:32.385>of, <01:03:32.525>uh, <01:03:32.665>like <01:03:32.805>I,

1226
01:03:35.045 --> 01:03:37.185
<01:03:35.045>I'm <01:03:35.220>not <01:03:35.395>sure <01:03:35.570>if <01:03:35.745>I <01:03:35.920>understand <01:03:36.095>these <01:03:36.270>words, <01:03:36.445>uh,

1227
01:03:37.305 --> 01:03:38.425
<01:03:37.305>CDI <01:03:37.641>and <01:03:37.977>at <01:03:38.313>will.

1228
01:03:38.525 --> 01:03:41.825
<01:03:38.525>So <01:03:38.652>if <01:03:38.779>you <01:03:38.906>or <01:03:39.034>Nick <01:03:39.161>can <01:03:39.288>collab, <01:03:39.415>elaborate, <01:03:39.543>I <01:03:39.670>would <01:03:39.797>love <01:03:39.925>that

1229
01:03:42.175 --> 01:03:45.665
<01:03:42.175>because, <01:03:42.315>um, <01:03:42.455>what <01:03:42.595>I <01:03:42.735>am <01:03:42.875>sensing <01:03:43.015>is <01:03:43.155>I <01:03:43.295>have <01:03:43.435>a <01:03:43.575>listening

1230
01:03:45.665 --> 01:03:48.265
<01:03:45.665>for <01:03:45.820>these <01:03:45.976>words, <01:03:46.131>and <01:03:46.287>if <01:03:46.442>I <01:03:46.598>speak <01:03:46.753>from <01:03:46.909>that <01:03:47.065>listening,

1231
01:03:48.265 --> 01:03:50.705
<01:03:48.265>and <01:03:48.420>it <01:03:48.576>might <01:03:48.731>be <01:03:48.887>different <01:03:49.042>from <01:03:49.198>the <01:03:49.353>question <01:03:49.509>Nick <01:03:49.665>is

1232
01:03:50.705 --> 01:03:52.425
<01:03:50.705>answering, <01:03:50.938>I <01:03:51.171>might <01:03:51.404>not <01:03:51.638>answer <01:03:51.871>that <01:03:52.105>question.

1233
01:03:52.545 --> 01:03:54.505
<01:03:52.545>So <01:03:52.745>I <01:03:52.945>would <01:03:53.145>like <01:03:53.345>to <01:03:53.545>clari <01:03:53.745>clarify <01:03:53.945>first,

1234
01:03:54.715 --> 01:03:55.715
<01:03:54.715>Right? <01:03:55.615>Otherwise,

1235
01:03:55.715 --> 01:03:58.265
<01:03:55.715>maybe <01:03:55.915>Nick <01:03:56.115>can <01:03:56.315>reach <01:03:56.515>out <01:03:56.715>to <01:03:56.915>you <01:03:57.115>directly

1236
01:03:58.445 --> 01:04:00.665
<01:03:58.445>and <01:03:58.678>you <01:03:58.911>can <01:03:59.145>answer <01:03:59.378>the <01:03:59.611>question <01:03:59.845>Sure.

1237
01:04:00.925 --> 01:04:02.705
<01:04:00.925>In <01:04:01.205>a <01:04:01.485>private <01:04:01.765>message. <01:04:02.045>Perfect. <01:04:02.325>Yes,

1238
01:04:02.705 --> 01:04:03.705
<01:04:02.705>Yes. <01:04:02.884>So <01:04:03.065>I'm, <01:04:03.245>I'm <01:04:03.424>very <01:04:03.605>active

1239
01:04:03.705 --> 01:04:04.425
<01:04:03.705>on <01:04:04.353>LinkedIn

1240
01:04:04.445 --> 01:04:07.345
<01:04:04.445>and <01:04:04.585>anybody <01:04:04.725>can <01:04:04.865>reach <01:04:05.005>out <01:04:05.145>to <01:04:05.285>me <01:04:05.425>on <01:04:05.565>LinkedIn <01:04:05.705>as <01:04:05.845>Well,

1241
01:04:07.375 --> 01:04:08.375
<01:04:07.375>Perfect. <01:04:08.275>Okay.

1242
01:04:08.375 --> 01:04:11.385
<01:04:08.375>That <01:04:08.575>was <01:04:08.775>actually <01:04:08.975>one <01:04:09.175>of <01:04:09.375>my <01:04:09.575>questions <01:04:09.775>anyway,

1243
01:04:11.565 --> 01:04:13.745
<01:04:11.565>so <01:04:11.720>I <01:04:11.876>wanted <01:04:12.031>to <01:04:12.187>ask <01:04:12.342>you <01:04:12.498>if <01:04:12.653>you <01:04:12.809>are, <01:04:12.965>uh,

1244
01:04:13.745 --> 01:04:14.905
<01:04:13.745>active <01:04:14.093>on <01:04:14.441>social <01:04:14.789>media

1245
01:04:15.285 --> 01:04:18.025
<01:04:15.285>and, <01:04:15.484>um, <01:04:15.685>tackle <01:04:15.884>some <01:04:16.085>questions <01:04:16.285>from <01:04:16.484>the <01:04:16.685>audience

1246
01:04:18.235 --> 01:04:19.545
<01:04:18.235>there <01:04:18.628>as <01:04:19.021>well <01:04:19.414>afterwards.

1247
01:04:19.545 --> 01:04:22.425
<01:04:19.545>Sure. <01:04:20.011>Perfect. <01:04:20.478>Awesome. <01:04:20.945>Okay.

1248
01:04:23.105 --> 01:04:24.345
<01:04:23.105>Actually, <01:04:23.328>that <01:04:23.551>was <01:04:23.774>the <01:04:23.997>last <01:04:24.221>question.

1249
01:04:24.765 --> 01:04:27.465
<01:04:24.765>Um, <01:04:24.904>do <01:04:25.045>you <01:04:25.185>want <01:04:25.325>to <01:04:25.464>share <01:04:25.605>something <01:04:25.745>else <01:04:25.884>with <01:04:26.025>the <01:04:26.165>audience?

1250
01:04:29.005 --> 01:04:31.025
<01:04:29.005>Mm, <01:04:29.160>I <01:04:29.316>I <01:04:29.471>think <01:04:29.627>what <01:04:29.782>I <01:04:29.938>shared <01:04:30.093>in <01:04:30.249>the <01:04:30.405>beginning,

1251
01:04:31.135 --> 01:04:33.065
<01:04:31.135>like <01:04:31.368>this <01:04:31.601>is <01:04:31.835>a <01:04:32.068>lot <01:04:32.301>about <01:04:32.535>practice.

1252
01:04:33.295 --> 01:04:35.905
<01:04:33.295>This <01:04:33.528>is <01:04:33.761>just <01:04:33.995>not <01:04:34.228>about <01:04:34.461>conceptual <01:04:34.695>understanding.

1253
01:04:36.415 --> 01:04:39.065
<01:04:36.415>Because <01:04:36.555>if <01:04:36.695>you <01:04:36.835>are <01:04:36.975>not <01:04:37.115>good <01:04:37.255>at, <01:04:37.395>let's <01:04:37.535>say, <01:04:37.675>public <01:04:37.815>speaking,

1254
01:04:40.065 --> 01:04:43.835
<01:04:40.065>just <01:04:40.192>knowing <01:04:40.319>that <01:04:40.446>this <01:04:40.574>is <01:04:40.701>a <01:04:40.828>story <01:04:40.955>does <01:04:41.083>not <01:04:41.210>make <01:04:41.337>a <01:04:41.465>difference

1255
01:04:43.835 --> 01:04:46.795
<01:04:43.835>because <01:04:43.975>you <01:04:44.115>are, <01:04:44.255>you're <01:04:44.395>not <01:04:44.535>used <01:04:44.675>to <01:04:44.815>that, <01:04:44.955>you're <01:04:45.095>not <01:04:45.235>used

1256
01:04:46.795 --> 01:04:49.355
<01:04:46.795>to <01:04:46.922>doing <01:04:47.049>so, <01:04:47.176>so <01:04:47.304>when <01:04:47.431>you <01:04:47.558>go <01:04:47.685>out <01:04:47.813>there, <01:04:47.940>it's <01:04:48.067>very <01:04:48.195>natural

1257
01:04:49.495 --> 01:04:52.195
<01:04:49.495>for <01:04:49.650>the <01:04:49.806>old <01:04:49.961>story <01:04:50.117>to <01:04:50.272>come <01:04:50.428>up <01:04:50.583>like <01:04:50.739>as <01:04:50.895>anxiety

1258
01:04:52.695 --> 01:04:54.515
<01:04:52.695>or <01:04:53.045>as <01:04:53.395>some <01:04:53.745>fear, <01:04:54.095>right?

1259
01:04:54.515 --> 01:04:56.035
<01:04:54.515>So <01:04:54.743>it's, <01:04:54.971>it's <01:04:55.199>a <01:04:55.426>lot <01:04:55.654>about <01:04:55.883>practice.

1260
01:04:56.105 --> 01:04:58.355
<01:04:56.105>It's <01:04:56.338>about <01:04:56.571>in <01:04:56.805>the <01:04:57.038>moment, <01:04:57.271>practice, <01:04:57.505>oh,

1261
01:04:58.625 --> 01:04:59.955
<01:04:58.625>this <01:04:58.864>story <01:04:59.103>is <01:04:59.343>coming <01:04:59.582>up <01:04:59.822>again.

1262
01:05:00.585 --> 01:05:02.275
<01:05:00.585>Okay, <01:05:00.725>how <01:05:00.865>can <01:05:01.005>I, <01:05:01.145>how <01:05:01.285>can <01:05:01.425>I <01:05:01.565>take <01:05:01.705>a <01:05:01.845>deep <01:05:01.985>breath?

1263
01:05:02.655 --> 01:05:06.555
<01:05:02.654>How <01:05:02.782>can <01:05:02.909>I <01:05:03.036>focus <01:05:03.164>again <01:05:03.291>from <01:05:03.418>what <01:05:03.545>I <01:05:03.673>have <01:05:03.800>to <01:05:03.927>speak <01:05:04.055>to

1264
01:05:06.745 --> 01:05:08.235
<01:05:06.745>what <01:05:07.013>the <01:05:07.281>other <01:05:07.549>people <01:05:07.817>are <01:05:08.086>saying?

1265
01:05:08.305 --> 01:05:11.275
<01:05:08.305>What, <01:05:08.444>what <01:05:08.585>is <01:05:08.725>the <01:05:08.865>listening <01:05:09.004>that <01:05:09.145>I <01:05:09.285>have <01:05:09.424>to <01:05:09.565>speak <01:05:09.705>into?

1266
01:05:11.575 --> 01:05:13.195
<01:05:11.575>And <01:05:11.774>what <01:05:11.975>is <01:05:12.174>my <01:05:12.375>listening <01:05:12.575>that <01:05:12.774>I'm <01:05:12.975>speaking?

1267
01:05:13.375 --> 01:05:16.995
<01:05:13.375>I'm, <01:05:13.502>am <01:05:13.629>I <01:05:13.756>speaking <01:05:13.884>from <01:05:14.011>a <01:05:14.138>place <01:05:14.265>of <01:05:14.393>anxiety, <01:05:14.520>from <01:05:14.647>a <01:05:14.775>place

1268
01:05:17.045 --> 01:05:20.685
<01:05:17.045>of <01:05:17.161>fear, <01:05:17.278>or <01:05:17.395>I <01:05:17.511>am <01:05:17.628>I, <01:05:17.745>am <01:05:17.861>I <01:05:17.978>speaking <01:05:18.095>to <01:05:18.211>take <01:05:18.328>care <01:05:18.445>of

1269
01:05:20.685 --> 01:05:22.165
<01:05:20.685>what <01:05:20.907>is <01:05:21.129>there, <01:05:21.351>what <01:05:21.573>is <01:05:21.795>happening, <01:05:22.017>right?

1270
01:05:22.785 --> 01:05:25.325
<01:05:22.785>Uh, <01:05:22.984>so <01:05:23.185>practice, <01:05:23.384>I <01:05:23.585>think <01:05:23.785>that's <01:05:23.984>what, <01:05:24.185>uh,

1271
01:05:25.865 --> 01:05:28.685
<01:05:25.865>the <01:05:26.040>lasting <01:05:26.214>comments, <01:05:26.390>this <01:05:26.564>is <01:05:26.740>about <01:05:26.915>all <01:05:27.089>about <01:05:27.265>practice.

1272
01:05:29.465 --> 01:05:30.925
<01:05:29.465>You <01:05:29.793>can <01:05:30.122>understand <01:05:30.450>it <01:05:30.779>theoretically,

1273
01:05:31.105 --> 01:05:32.805
<01:05:31.105>but <01:05:31.455>just <01:05:31.805>like <01:05:32.155>computer <01:05:32.505>programming,

1274
01:05:33.225 --> 01:05:35.325
<01:05:33.225>you <01:05:33.400>will <01:05:33.575>get <01:05:33.750>better <01:05:33.924>at <01:05:34.100>it <01:05:34.275>when <01:05:34.450>you <01:05:34.625>practice.

1275
01:05:36.695 --> 01:05:40.775
<01:05:36.695>I <01:05:36.850>think <01:05:37.006>that's <01:05:37.161>always <01:05:37.317>the <01:05:37.472>case. <01:05:37.628>Perfect. <01:05:37.783>Yes. <01:05:37.939>Yes. <01:05:38.095>Okay.

1276
01:05:40.935 --> 01:05:44.295
<01:05:40.935>I <01:05:41.062>would <01:05:41.189>say <01:05:41.316>thank <01:05:41.444>you <01:05:41.571>so <01:05:41.698>much <01:05:41.825>Sumit, <01:05:41.953>um, <01:05:42.080>for <01:05:42.207>your <01:05:42.335>time

1277
01:05:44.315 --> 01:05:46.055
<01:05:44.315>and <01:05:44.548>sharing <01:05:44.781>all <01:05:45.015>your <01:05:45.248>knowledge <01:05:45.481>with <01:05:45.715>us.

1278
01:05:46.355 --> 01:05:48.215
<01:05:46.355>Uh, <01:05:46.705>I <01:05:47.055>loved <01:05:47.405>your <01:05:47.755>session.

1279
01:05:48.315 --> 01:05:51.975
<01:05:48.315>It <01:05:48.455>was <01:05:48.595>great, <01:05:48.735>and <01:05:48.875>I'm <01:05:49.015>sure <01:05:49.155>the <01:05:49.295>audience <01:05:49.435>enjoyed <01:05:49.575>your <01:05:49.715>talk,

1280
01:05:52.155 --> 01:05:53.815
<01:05:52.154>uh, <01:05:52.388>the <01:05:52.621>same <01:05:52.854>way <01:05:53.088>as <01:05:53.321>I <01:05:53.555>did.

1281
01:05:54.235 --> 01:05:55.415
<01:05:54.235>So <01:05:54.589>thanks <01:05:54.943>for <01:05:55.297>that.

1282
01:05:55.715 --> 01:05:58.855
<01:05:55.715>And, <01:05:55.842>uh, <01:05:55.969>with <01:05:56.096>that <01:05:56.224>said, <01:05:56.351>I <01:05:56.478>would <01:05:56.605>say <01:05:56.733>we <01:05:56.860>closed <01:05:56.987>this <01:05:57.115>session

1283
01:05:59.675 --> 01:06:00.975
<01:05:59.675>and <01:06:00.065>I <01:06:00.455>wish <01:06:00.845>you

1284
01:06:01.035 --> 01:06:05.055
<01:06:01.035>and <01:06:01.174>the <01:06:01.315>audience <01:06:01.455>a <01:06:01.595>nice <01:06:01.734>rest <01:06:01.875>of, <01:06:02.015>um, <01:06:02.154>at <01:06:02.295>our, <01:06:02.435>uh,

1285
01:06:05.075 --> 01:06:06.695
<01:06:05.075>of <01:06:05.541>our <01:06:06.008>JavaScript <01:06:06.475>Congress.

1286
01:06:07.115 --> 01:06:08.375
<01:06:07.115>And <01:06:08.249>bye-bye.

1287
01:06:09.395 --> 01:06:10.985
<01:06:09.395>Thank <01:06:09.675>you. <01:06:09.955>Thank <01:06:10.235>you, <01:06:10.515>Vincent. <01:06:10.795>Bye

1288
01:06:11.925 --> 01:06:12.145
Bye.